Neighbours and Halloween

[Halloween3]

Our next door neighbours have already put up their decorations! I couldn’t care less about what people do however this has dampened mine and DC’s spirits. DS’s birthday is around Halloween and I’ve been really depressed for past few years due to a loss. We decided a few months ago to have a big party on Halloween and invite all DS’s friends over on Halloween. I have been buying bits and pieces - just a few decorations and party serving plates so far. The neighbours have got the EXACT decorations I have bought! I mean the exact. DS’s has seen this and the ones we chose and he has decided I need to return everything now as neighbours will think we copied them.

I wasn’t planning on putting up decorations till 29th October so 2 days before Halloween but these guys have put up the decorations over month left!

I can’t return the decorations as it’s too much hassle (from TEMU) and quite frankly I can’t be bothered to buy new ones

What should I do? DS is really upset (aged 9). He was really looking forward to the party and if I don’t change the decorations he won’t stop being upset. I really don’t want to though. I know the decorations are popular so lots will have it but next door neighbours daughter is in my sons class and is a little nasty to him and will accuse him of copying. A part of me thinks she overheard DS and his party. Like why put up the decorations now when in past they’ve never bothered to

Get a firefly outdoor projector. We have one and all the kids at Halloween we’re totally wowed by it.

https://amzn.eu/d/0c7mb6aF

The small stuff doesn’t actually mean more. No one is looking back in 5 years at the awful time the neighbours put out their Temu decorations before we did. They’ll be talking about the awful time with bereavement and the bully of a neighbours son.

While small things might seem like more because your resilience is used up elsewhere, it is important to remember they are still the small things and don’t blow them out of proportion.

I made a zombie apocalypse theme decor during covid to cheer up the kids with a little Halloween party. We were allowed 6 visitors at the time so had a few friends round.

I made everything using stuff I had at home. Printed some Zombie warning signs off the Internet, made some bodies from bin bags stuffed with old clothes filled with plastic bottles and cushions for the heads etc. I filled old glass jars with water soaked with highlighter pens to glow in the dark filled with jelly eyeball sweets. Bought some yellow and black striped tape to cordon the house off. The kids loved it, and I spent very little in the end. Would something like that work OP? Your DS could help make a lot of it.

If you're handy/creative... Make a huge spider out of papier-mâché to hang out of one of the windows. Seal it with varnish to protect it from rain. Could even use a second hand gym ball for the body to make it even easier...
Or get a cheap, second hand skeleton and using a heat gun, gently melt or glue layers to it and make a realistic zombie. Don't let Temu neighbours out do you, think outside the box and make a signature piece 😁

I really do miss throwing Halloween parties 😭 a cheap effect that the kids loved here was putting a reptile humidifier thing inside a cauldron with some small led lights, green or red, for an ominous looking pot boiling away...

Tell your child no we’ve bought decorations and will be using them! He is a child and not the boss of you!! Don’t allow the entitled male behaviour to get a hold and nip that in the bud now!

But the o.p had framed it about how to help support her son that would be different, but they framed it as if the neighbours were wrong and weird for putting them up earlier than 2 days before.

Nothing to do with the actual decorations, but it might help to do some work on the 'circle of control' activities with your DS ( on other topics first, dont start with the decorations). Id personally include things like someone else wearing the same outfit to a costume day, and pocket money amounts along with obvious things both within his level of control and outside of it.

After you have fully explored circle of control then bring up the decorations again. Explain that the neighbours decorations are outside your control and ( with a PDA profile esp) you need him to help you make some decisions.
Offer only the choices that are within your control.
Eg - we dont decorate outside at all, we split the decorations between front and back yard,
We Diy (with explicitly set budget) or buy a few other cheap decorations instead and put the temu ones away for next year.
( only include possibilies that are within your control).
If he kicks off during the discussion with demanding things outside your level of control then immediately park the discussion and ask him to let you know that he needs to think about what he can control and you can talk more about it later.
Stay calm and withdraw. Do not change the parameters eg offer a higher budget or get pulled into an argument.

Ps. On the decoration side of things some orange and black crepe paper and balloons are quite cheap and will make your yard look very different.
Or change the vibe to day of the dead party fiesta with opshop fake flowers and hand painted decorations on cardboard. Think Disney's Coco.
Best of Luck and..
May the odds ever be in your favour.

Most people have the same stuff. Its normal. Tell him that its either those decorations or none at all.

It is not the neighbours fault though

You are massively over thinking this.

I understand why your DS doesn't want to have the same decorations! If you can't (or can't be bothered to) return them I would buy something different and put the Temu ones away for another year. You can get things that are not that expensive and the shops will be full of them soon (if not already).

Tell your son to zip it or there will be no party. Or get him to make his own decorations.

YABU for shopping at Temu.