AIBU to think violently rattling an occupied toilet door at work is rude?

[Futurehappiness]

I was in the toilet cubicle at work. The door was locked, so from the outside it clearly shows that it is 'engaged'. Regardless, someone outside came along looking for a free cubicle, rattled the cubicle door really violently (to the extent I was worried it would break the lock) before moving on to another one.

AIBU to think this is really rude? It is not the first time this has happened, once I was just in the cubicle about to lock the door and a male colleague burst in nearly pushing the door. These are unisex closed cubicles which is all there are; It has to be said that when we had old fashioned dedicated female toilets this rarely happened....perhaps the men are resentful about the time women take & aren't used to queuing?

It’s not always clear whether it is occupied or not.

Fair enough; but you surely go to open the door normally, and if it doesn't open, you know that one is occupied and look for a vacant one or wait?

Toilet door locks aren't designed to be like bank vaults; most people could force them open and gain access to the occupant/facility for whatever reason if they desperately wanted to (indeed, this is a crucial feature in case somebody inside needs emergency assistance); but they work on a socially-understood basis, whereby they give the very clear message to any normal, respectable person who gently tries the door that this cubicle is currently not available.

Rude. I would say something. Did u feel vulnerable in case it was a man?

Most standard cubicle doors don't actually close fully on their own, so if you see that a door is fully closed, the likelihood is that somebody is in there. I would always push a closed door very gently and slowly, in case the lock is broken, or there's somebody in there who forgot or struggled to lock it - children are very good at forgetting to lock (or are maybe scared to in case it's stiff and they can't unlock it again).

I appreciate it's different if the single toilet is a self-enclosed room with a proper door in itself; but again, if you try a toilet door and it doesn't open, your parents did a shockingly bad job if you can't work out why that's probably the case.

I think there are a lot of people out there who really cannot think anywhere beyond their own needs and wishes - the so-called 'main character syndrome' - where they cannot fathom that somebody else may be in there and they will have to wait or find another one. Even if they're thinking "But I really need the toilet!"... erm, yes, as does the person who is currently using it!

Well again, if you know there's a chance someone is already occupying that cubicle, why approach the situation assertively? Why not have some consideration for the person who may already be in there?

I can't believe that a thread is necessary on the bare fundamentals of decent manners and what you don't do when someone is already in a bog cubicle. But here we are. A detailed division over the simple social contract of basic courtesy.

Cede over women's once-protected spaces and unfortunately this is the likely outcome. No question that women can be equally as rude, but intimidatingly predatory behaviour is overwhelmingly in the male domain.

Maybe the constant whingers that society is going down the shitter actually have a point.

Just assertively trying to get into an engaged toilet that was in use. Sure bro...

I'd certainly ask them WTF they think they're doing and tell them to pack it in!

I'm the passive aggressive type. I'd make up a little sign to stick to the toilet doors saying something like
'Please see VACANT/ENGAGED sign above for relevant 'up to date' information on occupancy.'
Pushing hard/rattling the on door, will not change the current situation
Your patience is appreciated

people are so bloody noisy in general with toilet cubicles. They slam doors , shake them to see if anyone is in. Just try and gently push it if you disbelieve the engaged sign.

im not particularly affected by noise but in public toilets it’s like a herd of elephants are arriving.

although I have had the opposite where a teenager hadn’t locked the door and was upset when I pushed it and it opened and the mother was mad at me. Stand in front of the bloody door then.

That's why there should always be single sex toilets. If the lock showed engaged how do you know it's not some perv hoping the door would be pushed open for them to get a look at whoever is using the loo. Probably not the case but you never know.

This has happened to me when l was using a disabled toilet cubicle.
The person outside rattled the handle quite forcibly, then did it again a few seconds later.
Then gave me a dirty look when l came out. Why, l have no idea.
I wasn't in there long, surely if the door's obviously locked, why the need to be so full on?
It annoyed me, but l imagine some people would find it quite intimidating.

This happened to me at Victoria Station baby change. There was only one changing mat in there at the time, plus a toilet and a bit of work surface with a sink. Someone starting knocking on the door while I was dealing with a full-body poo and crying (long story but been to stay with in-laws.)
It progressed to shouting and aggressively barging the door, eventually I opened it even though I wasn't done, and two other women barged in, shouting about who did I think I was, locking the door, it's for everyone etc etc.
I was completely overwhelmed and just stood looking at my baby on the changing mat and crying. I'd managed to get him clean and into a new nappy but he had no clothes left to wear, we'd been away from home and the spares were all in the suitcase which unpleasant DP had taken miles away. I just couldn't think what to do. A really kind dad came in, plonked his baby next to me on the work surface to change his nappy, saw me crying and immediately offered a clean vest. Whenever I despair of men I remember that kindness.

On the subject of public toilets,does anyone else experience the rage of people who go in the toilet and don't lock the door? This happens quite regularly in the coffee shop that I frequent. If the 'engaged' sign isn't showing, then you obviously assume that no one is in there. Then you open the door to be greeted by someone screaming at you to get out. Well lock the bloody door then!

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows I agree about the 'main character syndrome'. When I'm sitting in the coffee shop,I witness people trying the toilet door repeatedly,they just cannot comprehend that someone else may actually be using the toilet! They then go trotting up to the counter and tell a member of staff that they can't open the door,and look incredulous when told that someone is probably already in there!