AIBU to still regret getting a 2:1 instead of a first?

[onedayillmoveon]

It’s been 10 years since I graduated from university and I still can’t shake off the regret that I got a 2:1 and not a first. I know that a 2:1 is perfectly fine for the vast majority of jobs and nothing to be ashamed of, my more and more people have gotten firsts for the past 20 years or so. When I graduated in 2016, about 33% of humanities graduates from my uni got firsts. I just felt so stupid, incapable, inadequate….. I know people say that grades and numbers can’t define us, but I sort of did let it.

I still can’t shake off this horrible regret that I didn’t get one. I got a high first in my second year and was so pleased, I genuinely loved my subject and had applied myself. In my final year (which largely determines degree class where I went), I became quite depressed and stressed. I could never focus and never really adequately prepared for my exams. I just can’t stop wishing that I had pulled myself together in some way.

Some of you, if you read this far, might think, “well if you have a decent job, nobody gives a damn what degree you got”, and yes, fair. Yet there are certain supposedly ‘elite’ jobs where a first is strongly preferred, and I think not getting one ruined my chances of those.

Anyway, if anyone else has ever felt the same way, or knows someone who does, and wants to share ideas or experiences, maybe that will be helpful.

Sometimes. Like any job there are aspects I like and aspects I don’t. I enjoy teaching Year 12 -13 the most.

And what about fun on your life? The lighter side to life

You have led a very serious life to date and I think your dissatisfaction is a lot to do with maybe not feeling like you have really had much fun and experiences in your life beyond studying and being with your parents

No I haven’t lived with my parents for three years; I rent a house. I only moved back home during Covid 19.

I’ve had periods where I’ve been in friendship groups and I’d go out every Saturday night, and other times where I’ve socialised less. When you move to a brand new city for work, it can be hard to meet people.

37 for the degree, 38 for teaching degree, 42 for PhD.

Wow…. How did you fund all this??

Ok so this will be playing a part

you are lonely in a new city and don’t have friends yet to socialise with

She's a priest in the Church of Scientology.

Student loans for degree and teaching degree. For PhD it was fully funded by UKRI and I won a competetive stipend.

Zero for one cowboy.

You must be fun at parties.

I have a PhD so no not really.

Possible, but I’ve felt like this for years regardless whether I have friends or not.

I got a 2:1 too, Then in the world largest overcompensation ever, went back to university to do a PhD and got "Most Outstand Thesis" of the whole university. I still think about the 2:1 more that the PhD award though..... It's a strange world....

Haha, like me. I failed my English GCSE (passed on resit), ballsed up my A levels (D and two Es). PhD was a determination to correct that.

I flipped out when i got a 2:1 (social work). I was dancing around my house like a mad women! I went to university about 15 years ago, aged 39 ish. I was so joyful.

Then i was dx with Multiple Sclerosis, epilepsy, strokes and COL4A1.

Let that sink in.

OP from reading your responses above, you don’t sound happy, please think about what you really want to do. Life is short. I sense you are creating obstacles in your mind rather than making things happen. I know many people who have changed careers later in life (mostly lawyers as that’s my world) to something totally different (ironically a few who have become teachers, being a lawyer really comes with its own challenges). It’s totally totally possible to make a career change. Do you really want to be a barrister? Really? There are so many things you can do with a teaching qualification and you’re really making a difference to many people. Unlike many areas of the legal profession! Please be proud of your degree, get some help with your mental health and live life with no regrets. Good luck

Good advice.

I think that's a poor reason to be discouraged from applying for pupillage tbh. If you're just looking at a few chambers, the sample size is extremely small (maybe 2-3 pupils a year so the last 5 years will be 10-15 people if all kept on). Even then, it's only a very small category of sets which will be exclusively oxbridge firsts (brick court etc) if you wanted to be a barrister for the reasons you said, you can do that at lots of chambers. If you only wanted to contemplate being at the best paid, most exclusive sets, from the very start of your career, then yes perhaps a first is necessary but you'd be competing with people who have PhDs in the area of law they're interested in so even a first might not help.
For more realistic stats, the Bar Council publish them - https://www.barcouncil.org.uk/resource/pupillage-gateway-2024-25-pdf.html - almost 40% have 2:1 degrees.

But you mentioned above about the working hours in your new job. If it helps or gives context, I work about 60 hours a week. I've just finished my work for the day about 15 minutes ago and I'm in court again at 9. It's bloody tiring.

I know my dissertation students very well. Some have been left several years and we still stay in touch. I've only been at 3 different institutions - 2 ex-polys and one top 5 and while I can believe that your son's experience does happen, I think nowadays it's the exception rather than the rule.

It's also probably true that the onus is on the student if they want to get to know staff, so if the student never makes the effort to get to know staff, then the staff are not likely to go out of their way either.

I thought a 2.1 was considered good.
I got a 1st but I was a mature student and had no social life. I have a very non glitzy career.

Did you have a family at the time?

I get this too.

I don’t think @onedayillmoveon is happy with much in life. She’s alone in a city with no friends. She doesn’t seem to have done much in her twenties beside study. She is focussing in on the degree result from ten years as a reason as so why she generally feels unhappy and unfulfilled

I got a First 25 years ago, the only one in my combined Honours degree to do so. I would have had my job offer honoured with a 2:1 and I’d say it’s made little difference to my professional career since. I’ve had good periods and challenging periods, and I’d say they have had more to do with my confidence, mental wellbeing and experience since graduating.

kindly, I’d consider whether some therapy may help you to live more in the present and not dwell on (actually very respectable) past achievements

they awarded ONE first out of an entire year? How many on the course??