to send my daughters PE teacher a letter tomorrow

[MumRum]

DD has left her PE kit at school and doesn't know where it is, she's asked me to write a letter to her pe teacher to tell her she cant do PE tomorrow morning because of some make up illness, I have refused... BUT I am tempted to put in a letter .. "my daughter is a pain in the arse and keeps loosing her stuff, please punish her"
maybe this will make her more responsible for her stuff as in the last year at school she has lost....
1 expensive trainer
1 fleeces so we made her put money towards a new one and she bloodly lost that as well.. then she found the first one...
2 sweatshirts
recently 1 bag of clothes (trousers, top, jumper) that she'd lent her friend and the friend returned
and now her pe kit
It wouldn't be so bad if she was remorseful but she really doesn't give a shit...
so how would you handle this...
a) letter excusing her from PE
b) letter telling teacher to punish her
c) nothing... let her deal with it... lifes to short to worry....

by the way letters will be in a sealed envelope..

Tell the PE teacher you give them permission to make her do it in her vest and pants.

Ask them to give her the really gross communal kit

How old is she?

BTW, love your style - am now wondering what mum used to write in my letters!

What age is she? If under 8 or so, I'd help her find the gear; if 8-12 I'd make her look for it and then help her look for it; over 12: her loss. her problem if there are no extenuating circumstances

I'd send her with alternative PE kit and maybe a note to say she's lost her actual kit and leave it for the PE teacher.

We always had to get stuff out of lost property... it was rank!

but only if I could be there to see her face... I had to do that at primary school but then I did have those dreadful navy blue knickers...

My Mum was like you. She used to make me go to school when I was ill. She said I'd feel better at the bus stop, the cold air would be bracing.

I had to do PE even when I was dying. I never got a note from my Mum once in 6 yrs.

Can I just say, you.bad.you.mean

GIve full permission for them to give her a manky kit from lost property, with usual sanctions if she refuses (detention, sent to head of dept/year, etc.)

hurrah for you being so supportive of the school. I bet PE teachers get sooooooooooo cheesed off with this

How old is she? How is she losing so many things?

Are you sure she is losing these things, and not 'losing' them? Is she having any other problems?

Greenelizabeth, the OP's DD isn't ill, she's careless.

How old is your DD?

I'm loving your ideas.. a smelly rank one so she doesn't miss out..

she is nearly 12, and in year 7 she is dyspraxic and has vertialy no organisation skills, or memory come to that so I would hate to punish her for something that she can't help.. its the don't give a shit attitude that gets me..

Definitely letter saying she can do it in Lost Property kit. If she refuses, she takes the consequences.

& bloody hurrah for you!

greenelizabeth.. I'd never make her go to school when she's ill... in fact I took her when it rained and she lost her umbrella.....

Think Moomin's got the right idea, put in the letter that you are trying to teach DD better skills and that everytime she forgets they should make her wear stinky stuff from the lost property.

Pardon my ignorance, what's dyspraxia?

No organisational skills and no memory? And you want to punish her for losing something?

No she doesn't DSM, she wants to punish the 'don't give a shit' attitude.

DS1 is 12 and dyspraxic and nonchalant!

Short of stapling his belongings to his forehead, I can't imagine he will ever stop losing things.

Better he's laid back though I suppose, than constantly stressed about it all.

Tis very frustrating though - you have my sympathies.

I know. I remember so clearly how much I hated PE though.

Being forced to do it was such torture. I was so slow and clumsy compared to everybody else. I was smaller and felt quite physically pathetic compared to the others. Nobody ever wanted me on their team.

It was only TEN years after leaving school that I discovered actually, I did like exercise, non competitive exercise like step, circuit training, running, swimming.

I know you have to instil a sense of responsibility in to her, but if she's working hard at her school work, I'd strike a deal with her. Exercise on your own terms, swim, run, walk......... and I will get the PE teacher off your back.

I could have been studying subjects I was weak at while I was standing on the hockey pitch paralysed! It was all so pointless.

My mum once wrote a note for me after I had skived off for no particular reason and stayed at home the previous day. It was honest and true, tho it didnt really give a valid excuse.

It said:

Dear Mr. Registration class teacher

'Shitemum was in bed yesterday'

yrs,
Mrs Shitemum senior

PMSL

MumRum, are you finding ways to help her with organisation?

Often children of this age care deeply about things but care too much about losing face to let it show - hence the bravado show of nonchalance.

The fact she's asking you to write her a note demonstrates she does care, I reckon.

Can you help her sort out some systems for her property and her processes (noticeboard, timetable, visual reminders by front door, etc)?

Ok, I see she's only 12. I was thinking she was 15. But still. I do sympathise with her.

I never had a name for it, but I think I might have had a touch of that dyspraxia. To this day, if you threw a ball at me 100 times I would not catch it once. It made team games very unenjoyable to say the least.

we have all those things and more Hunkermunker... down to an alarm going off 5 minutes before she is due to leave the house in the mornings... bag should is packed for the morning... clothes hung up ready to wear... homework done...
I think the latest problem of loosing things is that she now carries a cool small bag which she can just about get her books and a hairbrush in.. before she had a big rucksack where she could stuff everything in.. it was funny because when she started school everything was attached to the bag, her locker key, purse.. etc but she still managed to loose them...

she popped to a neighbours house the other night and came back with out her shoes ffs.. her shoes.. she said she'd forgot she had worn them.. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry...

she doesn't mind pe by the way...

The creative approach of 'stick her in a manky spare kit' letter should get an amused reaction from the member of staff and would be a memorable lesson for dd . It might also stop PE staff coming down on her like a tonnes of bricks because you are supportive iyswim.

Many of kids I teach are very nonchalant about losing kit, it must drive their parents spare. One child I teach has lost his entire cricket bag including bat, his PE kit, school bag, tie and school shoes and his parents have had to replace them. I did suggest replacing his very expensive Nike with some generic trainers but they said then he'd definitely lose those.