AIBU to feel unfairly ostracised after a joke at the sports club?

[Sasco86]

So a few weeks ago, there was what I perceived as a jokey conversation going on and another mum said her stepson was as gay as they come. I jokingly said that she wouldn’t be getting any grandchildren from him any time soon then. To me, i was just joining in on the jokey conversation and that’s all it was. I have now been ostracised and reported to the safeguarding lead officer at the sports club this happened at. People who were my friends have taken her side because she’s made it far more of a thing than it was and my children have even been told things that are far from true. I almost feel that this person is now trying to bully us out of the club. Adult bullying is by far the most horrible situation I’ve ever experienced.

Where's the joke though? What is meant to be funny?

What's nasty about it?

I thought that about the stepmother's 'he's as gay as they come' comment - fine for a gay man to say about himself, but a bit homophobic to use about someone else, with the implications that are involved.

Announcing to a group of strangers that your stepson is "as gay as they come" isn't exactly kind or appropriate either.

People are so woke now -it was a bit tactless of you and I hope you have apologised - it’s a bit odd for someone to rave about how gay their child is -I suspect she is actually not ok with it thus taking offence at your comment. I would in your shoes decide to stick it out for eg 3months and see how it goes - it will probably be forgotten by then by most people

It was quite a homophobic thing to say. Lots of gay people have children!

Jokes and banter are fine as long you can fully guarantee that the person you’re bantering with can appreciate it not everyone can. I do have to say though why can’t gay people have children

According to the English and Welsh census, "6.5% of male couples had children. In comparison, 39.7% of all opposite sex couple families had children."

So it's definitely a lot less likely! Which makes sense, considering a man can't just get pregnant, so would either need to adopt, share a child with a lesbian couple, or use a woman's body in order to procure/buy a child. Interesting to see the stats, actually.

Were you part of the conversation or did you just chip in?

Some people get offended by everything these days. It’s pathetic

Daft thing to say, but why is it a safeguarding issue? There must be more to this - and as usual, OP is nowhere to be seen.

Hello, gay here. And a birth parent of 2 children. That was a pretty ignorant thing to say, outdated and I wouldn’t have found it funny but would have just marked you down as to be avoided/ignorant.
Apologise profusely and move on.

Given that safeguarding at the Sports club are involved I suspect there’s more to it.
I’m safeguarding at a club and would have told anyone bringing this exact thing to my attention that it wasn’t anything to do with safeguarding.

As the mother of a gay son it is something that i feel sad about. He was somebody who always wanted kids. I know he can have them but it will either require surrogacy or adoption. Both not very straightforward. You may just have struck a nerve with this person.
However i do think they are over reacting.