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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move or not to move.. please talk sense into me

17 replies

Ladyoftheapple · Today 09:57

We are currently deciding whether to move or not. I am aware that houses are moving slowly at the moment. Please help me with a sensible decision because we are really stuck on what is the better option.

For background, all houses for sale local to us are either too small for the same money as our current house or way more money (circa 100k) for a house that is only 1 bedroom bigger and smaller garden etc.

We have four children. Our current house is three bedrooms with a massive garden and double garages, parking. We were aware when we bought the house that we got it for a great price (for the size) due to location behind an industrial state which has never bothered us, it has been quiet. Also, the house was in a bit of a state and needed everything new inside really. We have recently got it to a place where it’s decorated perfectly and this has taken us the previous decade in between babies. However, there is an aggregate mixing centre down the road who have in recent years purchased machinery that recycles old used aggregates and we see the dust blowing across from this and have also had the dirt on our windowsills along with dusty windows. This machine can also be quite noisy during the week but doesn’t bother us too much (we are probably a 3-4 minute walk away). The further issue is we have an empty bramble field parallel to our house and garden which is for sale. This recycling aggregate place bought the field and then pulled it because of Japanese knotweed right in the back end. However, they have been purchasing more and more land behind us and there are fields and fields of piled up dirt piles. My concern is they will run out of space and then buy it eventually (they were quoted 30k for knotweed removal) which is minimal compared to the price of the field (350k). At which point, I don’t think I could cope with them working and digging right next to our house. My husband says this might never happen though.

Another issue with our current house is that it is a 3 bed, we have four children. We could split the master into two to accolade two small singles in there though. We had planned a single storey extension here too to add a playroom as we could do with a 2nd reception room as the children get bigger. We have enough money for this now or we could put it towards moving/stamp duty

We did view a house that is 40 minutes from where we live now that has all the space we would need and is only about 10-20k more than our current house. It is 1930s though and would need redecorating/old textured wallpaper pulling off etc. We would also have to build a large shed in the back garden as it does not have a garage (this was converted into a bedroom) However, it has all the bedrooms and reception rooms we would need and lovely sized garden albeit not quite as large as our current one. The downsides being, we’d have to move the children into new schools, it would take me 30 minutes to drive to work instead of 20 minutes and a bit longer commute for my husband as well. Also, my biggest worry is being a 40 minute drive away from my Mum instead of 5 minutes who I visit 1-2 times a week. It concerns me that family are further away if we have childcare emergencies or when they visit our small pets to feed when we are away or how far away they are if we need to visit more as our parents get older.

If you’ve read this far, thankyou for taking the time, we are in total limbo.

OP posts:
Papster · Today 10:03

NRAT

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · Today 10:05

How old are the children?
What jumps out at me is the field and the aggregates company.
Children grow up and leave etc but if you want to move in the future and the aggregates company have utilised the field and become much more problematic your current house might lose value or even become unsellable.
The down sides to the new house seem small in comparison to that, plus you get the extra bedroom.
I think I'd go for the move.

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · Today 10:07

Adding to that - some of your issues are solvable. Pets - pay a local kid or get a housesitter. Mother - visit once a week not twice and just stay a bit longer. None of the things seem insurmountable to me.

AbzMoz · Today 10:10

I’d go for the move. My parents ended up surrounded by industrial type buildings and buried their head in the sand for years around how big it could get. I’ve managed to move them, and they’re much happier. The issue is their old house’s value has really really declined. You can’t change the neighbourhood and it sounds like there’s a clear direction of travel in yours…

AyeupDuck · Today 10:10

If the knotweed makes it on to your land you will need to declare it when selling. I wouldn’t touch a house with knotweed. Looking at it from a purely selfish perspective I would move asap. The commutes and being slightly further from your Mum would be fine. I would be concerned about the children but only you know how resilient they are and if they make friends easily or if shy etc.

shellyleppard · Today 10:13

given the aggregate companies expansion i would move now . While it is still easyt to sell your current property? (hopefully)

Girlintheframe · Today 10:16

I would move. If the land surrounding your house is bought up it could make selling your property in the future difficult. The downsides you listed aren’t really negatives, it will be a bit of an adjustment but nothing too drastic plus you will have the space you need. With regards to having to redecorate, you would probably have to do that no matter where you moved due to personal taste.

SunnyFawn · Today 10:18

I would move. But I think you might struggle to sell? But probably less of a struggle now than if any of the issues you have identified come to fruition.

parietal · Today 10:25

How does the current house and the new one compare for local communities - shops, schools, transport in walking distance etc. as your kids get to be teenagers, walking to school or a bus stop is much much better than needing a mum-taxi.

how old are the kids? It is much harder to move after the start secondary because it disrupts friendships and GCSEs etc too much. Ideally you’d move in the summer before secondary for the eldest which fits a natural break.

finally, if you market your house now it could take 6 months to sell so don’t aim for just one possible house to buy. There need to be a few options.

Ladyoftheapple · Today 10:32

parietal · Today 10:25

How does the current house and the new one compare for local communities - shops, schools, transport in walking distance etc. as your kids get to be teenagers, walking to school or a bus stop is much much better than needing a mum-taxi.

how old are the kids? It is much harder to move after the start secondary because it disrupts friendships and GCSEs etc too much. Ideally you’d move in the summer before secondary for the eldest which fits a natural break.

finally, if you market your house now it could take 6 months to sell so don’t aim for just one possible house to buy. There need to be a few options.

@parietal my eldest just started secondary school yesterday 😪

OP posts:
Ladyoftheapple · Today 10:32

However, the schools in the second house are in walking distance. We currently have to drive

OP posts:
BarbaraUsher · Today 10:35

Move

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · Today 10:38

Ladyoftheapple · Today 10:32

However, the schools in the second house are in walking distance. We currently have to drive

Another plus for the moving plan.
Looks more and more attractive.

Floatlikeafeather2 · Today 10:52

Knotweed doesn't stay in one place. If it's in a field next to you, it won't just skirt politely around your fences. It grows fast. Who does the field belong to at the moment? Legally, they can have it on their land but must not allow it to spread beyond their boundary. It's virtually impossible to stop it spreading without properly being dealt with by experts. It doesn't sound as if that's going to happen so that alone would be a reason to move.

 40 minutes really isn't long as a commute and definitely not far enough to not continue visiting your Mum once a week. As for pet sitting and emergency childcare -  many, many, many people don't live anywhere near their families. They find ways of coping because they have to.
Floatlikeafeather2 · Today 11:00

I don't know what happened to the rest of my comment! 😂
40 minutes really isn't long for a commute and it's not long enough to prevent you seeing your mother once a week at least. As far as pet sitting and emergency child care goes, many many many people don't live anywhere near family. They manage because they have to.

seriouslynonames · Today 11:06

Definitely move. Might already be difficult to sell but will only get more difficult with what you describe.
Unfortunate that your oldest has just started secondary school. It will be difficult for them to move schools now, but probably only get more difficult as they settle in and cement friendships.
Good luck

BakersKitchen · Today 11:27

You should move but not to that house.

Before I read the whole thread I was thinking the obvious answer is a garage conversion and an extension over the garage to create another bedroom and bathroom but it’s not just the size that is bothering you.

Could you stretch to the £100k more house? It might be worth a few years of pain for long term gain particularly if you are expecting pay rises in the future.

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