To think you don’t always need to cut your nose off to spite your face?

[asbigasyourhead]

I know that it’s obviously a good thing to have very staunch morals, but sometimes I feel people take it too far.

A couple of recent examples I’ve encountered:

We were recently on a reasonably long walk with mother in law. At the end of the walk she was visibly shaky and looked unwell. She said she probably needed something sweet and she felt like her blood sugars were a little low. We went to the snack van thing and they only had KitKats as a chocolate bar option. She point blank refused to buy one as it’s made by Nestle and she won’t support them.

Ordinarily i fully support her on this and think it’s good for her to stand up to a company she doesn’t support. But in this instance I thought she was bonkers. She felt unwell and it was her only option. I offered to buy it (so she herself wasn’t supporting them) and she declined. She then went very dizzy and had to sit down for ages and still refused. Eventually father in law remembered he had a can of pop in the car so she drank that and felt better but it was still quite an ordeal and she was still visibly unwell.

A second was a family friend who has refused to take her children to Universal as there is Harry Potter there and she doesn’t want to support JK Rowling. (As an aside, I don’t want to derail this into a thread over whether we should or shouldn’t support Rowling!). Her children are devastated and are begging to go but she’s point blank refused.

Let’s be honest, the visit one family of four make to a multi million pound theme park isn’t going to make a shite of difference. If she was so bothered they could avoid the HP section but she’s refusing to let her kids go to any of it in case Rowling gets any money.

Im sure i’ll think of others but it just seems like sometimes people will get so hammered down on something that they refuse to take the blinkers off and see the bigger picture.

i totally get that its good to have strong morals and something to stand for, but there’s times where you have to think outside of that and consider your individual needs rather than what is best in a completely ideal world! AIBU?

Well if she was actually dying, would she still of refused the kitkat? Or not?

Actually I think these are principles they are standing firm on.

Good for them.

She seemed to be pretty intent that she would have but who’s to say in actuality

I see what you mean but both instances are actually affecting others as well, who may disagree about the principles, which then feels redundant and unfair

So do I.

Well on that case she knew it wouldn't kill her not to eat it, so good on her sticking to her morals.

Sorry I meant in my original comment that she would have refused to eat it even if it was a life or death situation - my reply wasn’t clear

Ok, in a genuine medical emergency, I don't think it's smart. Admirable, but not smart.
However, HP is a separate issue and what you are essentially saying that it doesn't matter what individual objections are because "if I don't, someone else would". It's a pretty common belief and I profoundly disagree with it. Your friend has a strong view and maybe if every person who held that view made the same decision, there wouldn't have been thousands of people at the park. As to her children being upset, that's fine also. We don't always get what we want and it is a good opportunity to explain to them why we are not going and have an age-appropriate discussion about your beliefs. When they are adults, they can make a different choice.

But these two people disagree about your principles.. Are you willing to change them because they may feel it's unfair to support Neste and JKR?
We all disagree on million things. That's also quite normal and expected.

I think both those examples are fine. I would have refused the kitkat too.

i have some strong views but am also a bit of a people pleaser so can find myself ‘relenting’ more than I’d like to - and so I actually admire these women you’ve mentioned!

No, it’s important to stick to your principles. There is no point having principles if you disregard them as soon as they become inconvenient.

I agree with you that staunchly sticking to principles when it makes little impact on the issue but in a rare situation hurts people around you is crap. It’s performative and selfish.

Why cause your family distress because you are feeling v ill when eating a nestle chocolate would end the drama and their worry. It will make absolutely no difference to the company. And why deny your children fun because an author you dislike might earn fraction of pennies from your children attending a theme park that has many other attractions

I think YABU. Just because it’s not important to you, it might be really important to others. I’m currently boycotting the following things:

The musical 6- Despite really wanting to see it, I will never watch it anywhere in the world due to the fact they cast Dylan Mulvaney (A MAN) as Anne Boleyn on Broadway.

Tampax- Dylan Mulvaney strikes again

Modi Bodi- They used a trans woman (A MAN) in their advertising.

Busch Gardens- I really wanted to go when we were in Florida but as soon as I found out their parent company owned SeaWorld, I went NOPE.

Other people may not agree with me but these things are important to me and I won’t change my mind.

Agree. It's more look at me and how principled I am, applaud me.
Refusing your children to try and avoid giving money to jk Rowling to use in upholding your rights is beyond idiotic and selfish.

A second was a family friend who has refused to take her children to Universal as there is Harry Potter there and she doesn’t want to support JK Rowling. (As an aside, I don’t want to derail this into a thread over whether we should or shouldn’t support Rowling!). Her children are devastated and are begging to go but she’s point blank refused.

Why does it not surprise me that the family friend is a twat who would deny her kids a fun experience because of a feminist icon like JKR.

JkR gives away far more money than she keeps to childrens, medical and womans support charities. So it is a stupid principle really.

What a crappy couple of examples.

Drinking a can of pop is hardly cutting off your nose, nor is not going to Universal