AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

[Xmasinkennels]

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

What do the dogs do while their owners are at work all day

I’ve assumed they are local by the suggestion of popping in on Xmas eve/Boxing Day

When I read threads like this, I am delighted I spend Xmas far far away from other people

No way I’d be going (I think there’s a consensus)!

idiotic comment

Dh and I work from home. When we worked in an office all day we didn’t have a dog as it wouldn’t have been fair.

It doesn’t sound like the op is the host so if the host is happy then the invited guests can choose to come or not. 10 dogs sounds a lot but if everyone else is happy, why would they change for op? My mum would always make my dog welcome at Christmas with a gift wrapped under the tree.

Sounds like hell!

Send dh alone.

What about suggesting a walk boxing day. Everyone can bring their dogs. Go to a pub, sit outside for a drink then walk back. Job done

I love dogs but 10 at Christmas dinner? Eh no 🙈🙈

All the nopes. Even one poorly trained dog can ruin things for everyone, let alone ten! My SIL has two untrained dogs and I HATE being anywhere near them. They bark constantly, stare at you when you’re eating and jump up on you whether you’re sitting or standing. SIL called at our house last week to pick something up from DP. I could hear the dogs going absolutely berserk in the car from inside the house and got this awful overwhelming feeling of panic. They aren’t big, scary dogs but the loud, relentless barking seems to trigger my fight or flight response. Our neighbour moved in about a year ago and I only found out last month that she had a dog because it is so quiet and well behaved. She never mentioned it in any of the conversations I had with her! The lady who lived in the house before her had three rescue dogs, all beautifully trained and well behaved. Sometimes, after being around SIL’s dogs, I have to remind myself that I like dogs. Just not hers.

No, it is not. OP chooses not to be around dogs. Relatives are unwilling to come to hers and leave the dogs behind. Both perfectly reasonable responses. However, there is a tone in some comments that portray dog owners as addle brained, unsanitary, selfish folk who care more about pets than people, and portray dogs as disgusting, loathsome, pestilence carrying nuisances. So, yes, dog bashing.

Have you ever had a dog?

Because they love dogs and dogs are pack animals.

Sweet.

Interesting thread! I have more dogs than that myself and always have a full house at Christmas, and many, many visitors throughout the year. They are well trained though and my house isn’t dirty. Mine don’t beg for food and they aren’t allowed in the dining room.

I think a lot of the points is that it’s not reasonable to expect the OP to tolerate 10 dogs and yes, it would be kinder to leave them at home so everyone can participate and enjoy Christmas.

And you can’t get away from the fact that 10 dogs in any confined space will stink to high heaven.

Even well behaved dogs I would be out. 10 dogs? No way.

Oh stop it. A dog can be left for a few hours.

I love dogs, but wouldn’t take children into a house with 10 dogs under any circumstances.

Do all the 10 dogs get along ? I suppose they must do if they are all taken along to every family event ? So they are probably well socialised at least.

What would concern me though is that they aren't used to being around small children, if they have been brought up in households with much older children, so I can understand your reticence even if you were a big dog lover. Small children and a large number of giddy dogs would be a no from me too.

Who would choose to spend Xmas cooped up in a house with 10 dogs? No-one would expect that to be a relaxing, calm experience.

Don't even want to imagine what the noise and smell would be like. You would be mad to agree to going there.

You don't have to go along with their plans. They don't have to go along with your plans. Seems like more people are happy with the plans than not so you can't stamp your foot about how unreasonable they are. You probably won't see any of each other over Xmas given this, but it also seems like you don't like them anyway so is it really a loss?

It’s just so sad that dogs are being prioritised over her DH and his family!

But people aren’t “silly around their dogs) the most you can leave one for is 4 hours - clearly only OP has an issue here everyone else is happy with the arrangement (it’s also going to be debatable how “poorly trained” and “snappy yappy” they are given OPs clear dog hatred

But pets have needs and they can’t be left alone lone for more than 4 hours. Everyone else is ok with the arrangement and wants the dogs there. What’s sad is the OP thinks she can control the situation because she hates the dogs. Maybe the rest of the family prefer the dogs. DH is going don’t really does seem an OP issue this one