AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

[Xmasinkennels]

So the Christmas plans have started. MIL thinks she is in charge of everyone’s schedules and movements 24-26 dec.

Last year we declined as they all have dogs!

This year she is trying to insist on various times at various peoples houses and I’ve said no ! We can’t be around any of the dogs!

We’ve offered to host here on Xmas eve or Boxing Day but that’s an absolute no as nobody can leave their beloved pets.

She can’t/wont accept that we just don’t like their dogs. MIL has two yappy snappy yorkies. SIL has four dogs. BIL 1 has three. BIL 2 has one. None are well trained and they all smell and it’s just not festive to me at all!!!

We offered alternatives! AIBU to stick to my guns on this

10 dogs will be there?!?!

I'm not a dog person (my DH has a dog though) and that would absolutely NOT be my idea of a nice Christmas. Not relaxing at all. Christmas is supposed to be relaxing and fun.

I would perhaps visit for one day after Christmas.

I would not be going. That is too many dogs. Although one is too many for me.

So if everyone was together there would be ten dogs?! Fuck that. I wouldn't be visiting them either.

Im a massive dog lover. And work as trainer.

ten badly trained dogs together at Christmas? That’s a ‘hell no’ even from me!!

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I am a cat person but love my sister’s greyhound. I’m scared of small yapping dogs.

You lost me at yappy snappy.

YANBU at all and if I were you I’d seriously consider booking a holiday to avoid further discussion. Or just say no.

10 dags is crazy - and I say that as a dog owner - I wouldn't go

That’s a lot of dogs! We routinely have 5 or 6 at family gatherings but nicely trained dogs and we are all dog people.

You don’t have to agree to go anywhere you don’t want to and they don’t have to go somewhere without their dogs if they don’t want to, is what it comes down to really.

I love dogs, my family dogs are great and are all well trained and not at all smelly.

Hell would freeze over before I spent my Christmas with other people badly behaved dogs….. Yanbu, at all!

MIL and BIL 2 have big houses but even so it’s absolute hell when all the dogs are there. The last time we went at Christmas (2024) I felt sick as it smelt of dog so strongly and they were just everywhere I felt like I was constantly tripping over dogs or avoiding them and it felt dirty 🤮

I’m a dog owner, but that’s madness.

Gross. You're not unreasonable at all. What does your husband think?

We decline to go for the food and a prolonged visit due to Mum having a dog, and DS taking hers too. 2 is too many for DH, who was phobic as a child.

We either have them visit us for a shorter visit a different day or just pop around for an hour on the day as suits us.

He doesn’t like them either but wants to see family so we tried to suggest things here but they declined. He will probably have to go alone on Xmas eve and just put up with it so that he gets to see them

Sounds utterly hideous. Surely they can see that? I’d be a bit upset that they’re suggesting it as an option because it’s not really realistic is it?

10 poorly trained dogs? Absolutely not. That sounds like hell.

Sad situation. People do get silly over their dogs.

I'm blunt so I'd probably just tell them you don't want to be around their dogs, won't be joining, and if they want to see you, it'll need to be without the dogs.

Obviously trickier for DH, as you say.

Great reason to avoid Xmas with the ILs . I suppose they feel strongly about their pets and I hope they don't make you feel bad for not wanting to join them . What about your own family .

Are there any children in this mix? I ask because the only thing I can think that would be worse than 10 poorly trained dogs around all of the usual Christmas festivities, would be small children being there getting nipped, knocked over etc

Madness all those dogs and I have 2 myself.

I love dogs but that is too many!

Absolutely let your husband crack on and visit alone.
No way could I be around so many dogs and their smell.

My idea of a nightmare. I like dogs, likewise at Christmas two of my sibling bring their dogs, theire is usually three dogs, they won’t be doing it this year as I am hosting and my dog doesn’t like other dogs. 😳

YNBU at all.
l can never understand why people want to foist their stinking dogs onto other people.
This would be a huge massive NO for me..and a great reason to avoid the arsehole in laws

Admittedly I dislike dogs, though have put up with PIL’s for 30 years. I did refuse to ever let them stay here again though after the current one constantly got under my feet and then wee’ed (weed?) all over the kitchen floor while I was cooking Christmas dinner.