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AIBU to find my MIL’s constant need for praise irritating?
I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable here because I’m starting to find something my MIL does increasingly irritating, and I’m not sure whether I’m overreacting
She has a habit of constantly drawing my attention to things that her grown-up children, all in their 50s, have done and then seemingly expecting me to praise them or sympathise.
It can be something completely mundane — one of them has done some DIY, bought a new tech gadget, had their hair done, worked a long day, cooked something, etc. She’ll draw my attention to it with something like, “Have you seen what X has done?” or “Look at X’s hair, isn’t it lovely?” or “X has been working so hard, they’re absolutely exhausted.”
I’ll happily compliment someone when I genuinely notice something and want to, but it’s the constant prompting that I find irritating. It feels like I’m continually being presented with her adult children and expected to provide the appropriate response — admiration, praise, sympathy, reassurance, etc. And because it happens so frequently, it can start to feel like I’m not actually being invited to have a conversation — I’m being recruited to provide emotional validation.
I also find myself thinking, we all work hard / we all have things going on / everyone looks nice when they’ve had their hair done, so why am I constantly being expected to acknowledge how wonderful or hard-working her family members are?
I don’t dislike these people and I’m not trying to take anything away from them. I just don’t particularly want to be an audience member whose job is to clap and validate every ordinary thing they do.
I’m not saying she shouldn’t be proud of her children, and I’m certainly not saying they don’t work hard. It’s just the expectation that I must repeatedly acknowledge it that gets under my skin. I’ve started responding quite neutrally rather than giving the enthusiastic reaction I think she is looking for.
AIBU to find this irritating, or is this just a normal expression of a mother being proud of her children?