Invite etiquette

[Starling57]

i forgot to reply to an invite to a party. The invite was casual in a WhatsApp group message and it said ‘let me know if you can come’ The party was yesterday and a couple of photos have appeared on Facebook. Does this look bad on me now? I’m thinking I should message and apologise or something?

If a group consists of more than 6 people, I take any group email or message which says "let me know if you can come" as requiring response only if I CAN come.

I would message and explain, and say you’re sorry to have missed it.

I would just go with the approach as suggested above that you assumed you only replied if you were going.

As for the photos, I would comment on them saying looks like a great party, sorry I couldn't make it.
This again backs up the message that you aren't being funny with them and just couldn't make it.

I would message, i am so sorry I absolutely forgot to reply, I hope you had a good time, they wouldn't have been expecting you or anything.

Actually replying to the photos is probably a better idea,

I did something similar and got 20 acceptances for 30 invitees. those who said no or just didn’t say anything I assumed weren’t coming. That was fine.
It was the 12 people who accepted but didn’t turn up that I was very annoyed about.
If you didn’t say anything you are fine.

You were rude not to reply, but I am old fashioned like that.

I would have been annoyed as well @bobbybigbollocks . That is so inconsiderate.

The noun is invitation, not invite, which is the verb.
I probably would not reply to an "invite", but generally yes, it was impolite not to respond.

Yes I think you should message back as above poster has suggested - sorry I couldn’t come etc. I once invited a few people over and one couple didn’t bother replying or acknowledging the invite at all and I found it rude.

Just to add, I once found a party invite in DDs bag a day too late. I messaged the other parent to apologise and explain.

What is wrong with invite?

Being pedantic it is a verb not a noun.

However, I think it is now common usage as a noun.

I don’t see why you are asking this. Of course you should!

What, not even ‘I didn’t attend your party because your contraction of “invitation” offended me’?

Yes you were rude not to reply

The message was to about 30 people. Some replied, some didn’t. Tbh I forgot all about it until I saw the pics yesterday. It was a family kids party. We’re not really that close so I think initially I just thought the invite was a casual thing?

It was still rude not to reply.

If it’s 30 people I think it’s ’let me know if you ARE coming’.
i’d reply to the photos now and just say looks great etc

I dont care what is a noun or verb I am not in an education or work setting on mn but an official invitation to me needs a reply yes or no, a message 'tell me if you can make it' type post means if you are coming tell me only

I’d have said whether or not we are planning to go and I’d apologise now for not having responded. But you know the people better than we do and how relaxed they are.

Ahh I see thanks.

In this context then surely ‘invite’ is correct because it’s a casual invite in a group message

Same here…I would’ve replied to say I could or couldn’t come.