AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

I haven’t read the whole thread so I maybe repeating what someone else has said. But you’re conflating two things: the ban on phones, and the incident your child was involved in. The two are not related. While having a phone may have enabled her to seek help earlier, the phone would not have prevented the incident - and that’s what you need to focus on. What can she or you do to ensure such an incident doesn’t happen again.

You would phone the police? Ex 999 call handler here. I would laugh at you.

If an adult chased after a child in the street and stole their phone off them you would laugh?

Thank god your an ex call handler.

Well presumably she’d call the non emergency number, but why on earth shouldn’t she report a theft? Teachers have no legal right to confiscate phones outside school grounds, this would simply be theft from a child .

How on earth did we manage when we were at school? I know we had phone boxes but I never had money to use one. Kids have managed to go to school for at least a hundred years without phones. I don't see how they can be essential.

No, you wouldn’t though, would you? Because an adult chasing a child in the street and taking their property isn’t something a 999 call handler would “laugh” at.

She hasn’t said that phones keep people “safe” in every situation, that would obviously be stupid. Your phone won’t stop you from being struck by lightning, or stop a drunk driver from veering onto the pavement.

She has said that in this specific incident, which we don’t have details of, her daughter would have been safe if she had her phone.

We have a mobile free policy during the school day but students unlock their phone pouches at the end of the day. They should be allowed them once off school premises- hard to believe it’s legal to challenge a child off school premises.

I’m a teacher and I’m not allowed to snatch a phone even if they get it out in the lesson. If they refuse to hand it over then a more senior teacher gets involved. No way am I (fat, middle aged, unfit) going to chase a teenager to snatch a phone on my way home.

I agree with that.

Makes me laugh when parents think they are in charge of school rules, what do people think happened years ago before mobile phones, we all coped and heaven forbid i also lived in a place without a landline and i didnt implode, and back in my day kids walked home or got a bus and all arrived home safely

I’m struggling to understand what’s happened.

Are you saying due to the phone ban your daughter was witness to an unpleasant incident? If she had her phone you could have warned her away from that area?

If you have verbal witness to something which requires police notification I can’t understand why you wouldn’t report it? If you’re saying you’re so horrified by a phone ban the police should be involved then no, that’s a waste of their time.

‘… but obviously cant keep replacing mobile phones’

This bit makes absolutely no sense. Schools don’t keep the phones forever after confiscating them. Even if she got in trouble for having one, it wouldn’t mean you had to buy another one each time.

That’s a sweeping generalisation that is also unfair. All of the secondary schools in our local town are now academies.None of them are in huge MATs and all have solid reputations, and nothing like some of the horror stories you hear about. My kids went to one and their pastoral care was outstanding. They are not all “horrific”.

Sorry if I've missed any explanation on this but this line about teachers chasing and snatching that you've put in quotes - where does this come from? I cannot imagine any official school communication being worded like this - is that what your daughter is saying? As she could well be inflating that through worry, rather than it being their actual policy.

Come on, teachers are not doing this! As all teachers that have posted here have said.

Yes of course if an adult chased anyone much less a child and snatched their phone this would be a crime, but we are talking about an interpretation of school policy here.

When I first read it in OPs opening post, I laughed. Schools are being blamed for much of societies problems but teachers are not being given the right through school policy to mug children.

I never said they were doing this. The teachers I know have more than enough in their plates. I simply said that I would call the police if it did happen. Just as you stated in your post.

The 'ex call handler' then said they would have laughed and I responded to that.

Get your child out of that school. Fast.
Both my DCs were in such a place that got their priorities completely on their head. They'll tell you the uniform, the haircut, whether you run in the courtyard, are signs of something important. They'll get children off the school if it snows in case someone makes a snowball, they'll outlaw conkers. DC1 lost sleep and the will to live; DC2 was cowed and went in survival mode. The colour of socks was tightly controlled but bullying was the most violent I've witnessed.
I intervened in the school and while uniforms were neat, the pupils were the worst behaved of all the places I visited. Because the school was focusing on all the wrong aspects of behaviour, the superficial, pointless, arbitrary ones that only look good on a still photo on the brochure, and turned a blind eye to the most fundamental values that a teenager needs - developing autonomy and respect for each other.
Ofsted will tell you the school is excellent I'm sure. Some parents will tell you you're mad to leave a place of discipline and training. They don't have a clue. Many places Ofsted call failing should be held as an example and some places they applaud should be shut down. This looks like one of them. For your children's sake, don't waste resources in overturning their decision, protect your child by getting her out ASAP.

She won’t tell us what happened because it’s a non-issue that she’s dramatising just so her kid can be as glued to her phone as she is.