AIBU to change night feeds and co-sleeping at four months?

[summertree1]

I have a four month old baby who I am EBF and am struggling with sleep.

I put him down at around 7pm (fed to sleep) in a cot. At around 12:30am he wakes up and I bring him into bed to feed. Basically for the rest of the night it feels like I’m either patting him or nursing him to get him to sleep, he doesn’t sleep solidly and cries.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Should I try and delay that first feed? Stop cosleeping for the second half of the night? If he’s in the cot I worry I’ll just spend the whole night standing there patting him. I feel like I need to reduce the feeding at night but am stuck in a bit of a rut.

YABU- you need to change up what you’re doing.

YANBU- just ride it out, it’ll improve and is likely a four month sleep regression

Just have him in bed (safely - lullaby trust guidelines), C curl around him and feed to sleep the whole time and leave him snuggled against your boob. Anything else means a hell of a lot less sleep - which is remarkable given how little sleep you get anyway, but if it's a little sleep or no sleep I'd take a little sleep!
He's much too young to try and reduce feeding him.

The baby is 4 months and supposed to be fed on demand, whatever the method. In the middle of the night breastfeeding is easier than formula feeding. You are getting over 5 hours from 7pm which is a great stretch at that age, sometimes people hear about sleeping through and think all babies should.

I co-slept and found that easier but it's not for everyone.

A four month old baby needs feeding to their schedule not yours
ie on demand

This! Cosleeping (whilst always adhering to Lullaby Trust guidelines) has been my sleep saviour with my two EBF DCs. It can be hard sometimes that when they’re small they rely on me so heavily to sleep but it doesn’t last forever and you’ll treasure the experience when it’s gone x

100% put down in cot until you go to bed, then cosleeping the rest of the night. So much more relaxing. You don't have to get out of bed for feeds, can stay lying down etc.

Thank you everyone! Much appreciated. I just sometimes feel I’m not getting it right when I hear friends with bottle fed babies already have them sleeping through the night at this age.

I don’t think I articulated it properly first time but my other query is about comfort sucking- after that initial feed I feel he is then basically nursing non stop. I’ll get him to sleep, unlatch then he’ll wake 10 mins later and cries unless I let him relatch. I don’t think he’s hungry at that point but just enjoys the comfort of it. I definitely find cosleeping easier in some ways but I wonder if he was in a cot whether this would stop- does anyone have experience of this?

Just co-sleep /bedshare from first wake onwards. Or for all the night long whichever is easiest. Follow safe sleep seven rules. Join laleche league for support. (And coffee and cake) also FB group “the beyond sleep training project” is good for peer support (with no sleep training suggestions) look up dr mckenna’s breastsleeping. Remember numerous wakes to breastfeed are normal and protective against sids.
take naps with your baby in the day if you can. Appreciate this may be hard-I’m on my third baby so not able to do this any more sadly !
the first stretch of sleep overnight can be the longest. Make sure you’re in bed yourself and sleeping for this. this season is all about survival.
breastfeeding lying down in your bed at night so you don’t have to even sit up yourself. Have your bed safely set up as per safe sleep seven rules. Cuddle curl position.

Solidarity. My son (now 3) was exactly like this.

I have a four month old now (5 months next week!). She used to do a nice stretch 8.30-2 ish but last couple of weeks the first stretch is only 8-11. Then we cosleep, lots of nursing.

She's my third kid, and after the first I pretty much gave up looking into regressions - it seemed to be the common answer for everything always! My only advice is hang on in there.