To think this is completely ridiculous?

[RotundQueen]

DS is autistic so likes the same activities on repeat. If something works for him and he considers it safe he will happily do it again and again without wanting anything new.

It's fine but it can get expensive if it ends up being an activity that costs money!

In this case he is enjoying going to a local small leisure park attached to a shopping centre. He likes the same 3 activities: trampolines, boat racing and mini golf. It's fairly cheap but it does add up if he wants to do it multiple times a week so I have had to limit it to once a week.

So here's the AIBU.. His grandma came to take him out today and he asked to go to the leisure park. I said no because he had only just been so I said to save the money for next weeks trip. However Grandma went on a rant about how he shouldn't be going to it at all as it's not good for him.

When I asked why it wouldn't be good for him she said because it encourages gambling??

This has completely stumped me as I don't see the connection at all. Grandma has form for having what I consider to be crazy opinions on everything. When I think back to my childhood I wasn't allowed to do a lot of what I would consider to be normal things as she would always have some reason for why they were not good.

I told her that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard and it escalated into an argument where she said she knows what she's talking about as she has met gambling addicts.

So AIBU? Can children going on rides and fair like activities regularly set them up for a gambling addiction later on? I don't believe so but she's so insistent about it that I'm questioning myself.

I'd say it definitely had a significant impact on me growing up and is probably the underlying reason for some of the choices I made in life when I was younger. It's taken me a good 10 years of being with my partner to undo a lot of the damage that was done but no I've never addressed it with a professional and some of the damage is very hard to undo. Hence still having moments where even if its an outrageous or ridiculous thing, I will doubt myself as its so ingrained in me to accept that I am wrong and she is right.

I think you seeing the same anxiety in your son now and being able to understand where your mother’s thinking is coming from, ie anxiety driven, should help you to be able to stop seeing her as all knowing and see her as a person who has the same anxiety as your son but with no one supporting her to address her anxiety.

Your son is always going to dopamine seek. It's how his brain is wired.

Boats, mini golf and trampolining seem pretty healthy and wholesome things for him to set his fixation on - within a reasonable budget of course.

I'm afraid your mum doesn't seem to understand your son at all and frankly trying to stop him doing things he really enjoys, for no good reason, is not helpful at all.

Yes this is my line of thinking too. They're pretty normal kids activities that millions of kids do, don't think I've ever heard anyone else say it's linked to gambling addiction.

Obviously at the time I knew nothing different but looking back now, as a parent, I can see that she sucked a lot of the joy out of childhood for me with all her crazy rules and beliefs and that is 100% something I won't do to my children. I let them partake in all typical children's activities because childhood is such a short part of their lives so might as well do it all and enjoy it.