To think this is completely ridiculous?

[RotundQueen]

DS is autistic so likes the same activities on repeat. If something works for him and he considers it safe he will happily do it again and again without wanting anything new.

It's fine but it can get expensive if it ends up being an activity that costs money!

In this case he is enjoying going to a local small leisure park attached to a shopping centre. He likes the same 3 activities: trampolines, boat racing and mini golf. It's fairly cheap but it does add up if he wants to do it multiple times a week so I have had to limit it to once a week.

So here's the AIBU.. His grandma came to take him out today and he asked to go to the leisure park. I said no because he had only just been so I said to save the money for next weeks trip. However Grandma went on a rant about how he shouldn't be going to it at all as it's not good for him.

When I asked why it wouldn't be good for him she said because it encourages gambling??

This has completely stumped me as I don't see the connection at all. Grandma has form for having what I consider to be crazy opinions on everything. When I think back to my childhood I wasn't allowed to do a lot of what I would consider to be normal things as she would always have some reason for why they were not good.

I told her that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard and it escalated into an argument where she said she knows what she's talking about as she has met gambling addicts.

So AIBU? Can children going on rides and fair like activities regularly set them up for a gambling addiction later on? I don't believe so but she's so insistent about it that I'm questioning myself.

Has Grandma actually been to the leisure park? Maybe she thinks it's an amusement arcade? Invite her to come along on your next weekly trip there.

She’s presumably got the wrong end of the stick about what the leisure park is, and thinks it’s an amusement arcade with slot machines. Just explain what it is and tell her there’s no gambling there.

I really don't see the connection with gambling at all?

Unless you’re betting on who wins at mini golf doesn’t sound likely to lead to gambling problems.

No, unfortunately she knows what it is as it's very local to us so we have been going there for decades.

How does the boat racing work? Is there a payout for choosing the fastest boat?

Is it the ‘addiction’ to the activity element? An odd comment certainly.

No, it's one of those RC ones where you stand at the wheel and sail the boat around the pond. All the rides and activities are operated by tokens. You get 2 tokens per pound. The only thing I can think is that she thinks he will become addicted to putting money in the token machine to get more tokens but that is a risk with anything really as DS can become very fixated on something he enjoys so it just needs managing and explaining to him like I have by telling him we will only go once a week and put in £5 worth.

If she knows the leisure park well there must be some element of it that she thinks might lead to a fixation for your son. She might have a point if she can explain exactly what it is that concerns her.

Either way though, he’s your son so it’s up to you to make that call.

ETA cross posted with you OP!

Grandma has form for having what I consider to be crazy opinions on everything

So why are you even questioning it? Her opinions are crazy so can safely be ignored.

Well she specifically said it will cause him to become a gambling addict when he's older. So perhaps she means he will continue seeking dopamine from things of a similar nature and move onto arcade games/ slot machines but personally I don't see how denying a child having fun on some trampolines, mini golf and RC boats for fear of him becoming a gambling addict in the future makes any sense.

I don't really see the link to gambling. Surely he wouldn't be able to do anything then if it gives him a dopamine boost.

She must be making some connection with gambling though, albeit tenuous. What does the boat racing involve? And when you say you've been going there for decades, do you mean with her? Because if she's been there she surely knows the set up and why has she decided to object now?

I know. I wish I didn't doubt myself when she goes on but if you knew how I grew up and the things she would insist and basically brainwash you to believe then you would understand my doubts. It's almost ingrained in me to doubt myself as I was always told I knew nothing and was stupid and that she was right. It's taken many years to undo a lot it in my head.

She's batshit. Ignore.

I’d take a wild guess and she probably attributes the tokens to slot machines? Odd.

Maybe the grandmother is onto something? Something deeper? Maybe she knows something about recreational activity preferences as predictors for gambling addiction? Not everything is on the surface.

The only thing I can think is that she thinks he will become addicted to putting money in the token machine to get more tokens

So she's worried that, as he gets older, he'll get used ro the concept of buying things that you need/want - which is a standard part of everyday life for all of us?

I presume the machine has a boringly consistent cost: £1 always buys you one token (or whatever); and it's not designed like a puggy machine, where £1 might randomly get you one token, zero tokens or 100 tokens?!

I think you already know that grandma is talking out of her bahookie.

Really? Bouncing on a trampoline and playing with radio-controlled boats as a child can send you down a slippery slope to doom as an adult?!

Maybe. I'd say in my son's case that anything is a risk of turning into addiction for him as he has Autism, ADHD and PDA traits. He often engages in dopamine seeking behaviour and can get fixated on anything that he has found enjoyable so I'd argue that the risk is going to be there no matter what and wouldn't think denying him access to typical children's things fair or helpful in the long run. I tried to explain that to her but she wasn't listening.

Yes I went there with her when I was a child however I was only ever allowed on the free things like the swings, seesaw etc. Anything that required a token was a no but that was always attributed to not having enough money. Not gambling. 😆

I don't really think you need the MN community to answer this one. You've given context to his grandma's odd views on things and this so happens to be one of them.

There's no link between a leisure park and gambling unless you really are stopping via Ladbrokes on the way home.

She is being so unreasonable. Just smile and ignore her.

I know but sometimes I just need reassurance that I'm not the one in the wrong as I have had a lifetime of it being drummed into me that I am wrong and she is right and it messes with your head after a while.