Is there a sleep regression at almost 3 years old? Why is my toddler waking at night?

[user2466]

Hi,

My DD has been having some trouble with sleep recently. Some days she hasn’t been napping which is fine as I take her lead but she’s also been waking up in the middle of the night crying and needing a lot of reassurance. Last night she woke at 3am and didn’t go back to sleep until 7:20am (which I had to kind of make her do as she was ready to go downstairs when she saw it be bright outside).

She’s not been eating that great either. Has been okay with breakfast and hit and miss with lunch but fussy with dinner.

We’ve had two wedding events that we attended last week and she had a few late nights and then no naps the next day. I personally think she still needs naps more than she actually does nap because she shows signs of over tiredness and struggles to go down at bedtime but she resists.

Is it a regression or could it be something else?

posting on here for traffic

Forgot to mention when she wakes I’ve been bringing her into our bed or sleeping on the spare bed in her room but she isn’t a great sleeper when someone’s in the bed with her as she’s a very light sleeper and is very sensitive to any movement or sounds therefore me tossing and turning or going for a wee etc can wake her

Could she be hungry? I found at that age they needed a very early dinner at least 2 hours before bedtime, preferably 2.5 hrs before, otherwise they'd be too tired to eat properly and then wake up at night or take ages to go to bed because hungry.

I would do dinner before 5pm if possible and then offer a little supper type snack about 30 mins before bedtime.

This IME also tends to encourage them to keep waking up - or at least, to keep calling out for you when they wake up.

When I switched to just comforting DS3 to sleep in his own room, he stopped calling out for me in the night. It was more disruptive in the short term but worth it for the long term benefit of avoiding co-sleeping that no longer worked for everyone.

@BertieBottsmaybe. She does ask for milk when she wakes, perhaps I should try what you’ve suggested. It could be she’s asking for milk because she misses her dummy (we went cold turkey a month ago)

Yeah it could be. I used to find once my DC were older than about 18 months if they were asking to feed at night it was more comfort - if they were actually hungry then they'd feed and feed and feed for ages and then just sit up and ask hopefully for breakfast. So I don't think it was filling them up in the way it had when they were younger. DS3 always ate much better than the older two and so didn't really have this issue.

With DS1/2 I never really believed the whole "they are waking up on purpose to get milk" and I don't think it is exactly that, it's more like they wake up slightly in the night (as we all do) and when they're used to sleeping through on their own they just go back to sleep. But if something is wrong like they're too cold, or they're hungry or they have had a bad dream then they will often call out for you. And then if you have been feeding or bringing them into your bed, then the night wake becomes "This is when Mummy comes to get me" so they cry for you, but if you want to avoid that then changing the way you respond can help. I did not leave them to cry, I just changed my response e.g. soothing in their room without feeding or with feeding but not bringing through to my own bed.

The most likely thing is she needs some emotional reassurance. If you put a small mattress next to your bed she could come through if she wants.

None of ours had naps from age 2 onwards or no sleep

She keeps saying ‘ouchie’ and ‘hurting’ and keeps changing what part of the body hurts. I think she might be doing it for attention but I have ocd and worry about the what ifs so will get her seen to by a GP just in case. This is the 4th night of terrible sleep and it’s like having a newborn again

Went to the GP. Nothing outwardly wrong with her that would explain the above

Could she be cold? I've noticed it gets really cold in our room around 3/4am.

Young kids don't do things for attention, they do them for reassurance or for love.