AIBU to feel middle-class luxuries have become increasingly out of reach?

[cocobow]

I had to go to the local shopping centre the other day to pick up a click and collect for my husband, new work shirts so nothing fancy! I thought why not make an afternoon of it as I rarely go shopping and I could maybe get a coffee and cake and even treat myself to a little something as my birthday is coming up.

I loved some of the clothes in places like monsoon and seasalt but it was all way too expensive dresses were £80 to £100 or more same with skirts which seemed to start at £65 and I know that isn't even considered expensive today but for me it is! I went for a look in the sephora as I love skincare but again it was all really expensive. The queue for the till was full of school girls buying things I wouldn't be able to buy for myself!

To be fair they were probably there spending birthday money and probably aren't spending money like that all the time. I suppose it just feels like the goal posts on these admittedly luxury items have been moved since I was in my teens and early 20's when I imagined that by my 40's I'd be able to at least buy some of these things or buy nice clothes now and then. My husband and I both degree and post graduate educated and work in professional jobs but we have to prioritise bills, the kids and food over luxuries. To be fair we have no debt at all and we will save for an buy large purchases cash mostly but I admit to feeling a bit personally deprived at times! When my mum was my age she worked in a call centre part time in the evenings and would go round the shops most weekend and buy herself a new top or other item of clothes and exclusively used clarins skincare, I use the ordinary, cerave or boots and superdrug own brand mostly and my clothes come from charity shops. My parents were working class made good but their disposable income seemed to go a lot further than mine does. We don't even have a large mortgage.

DH and I recently looked at taking a short trip to London as a joint birthday present to each other but the cost was so expensive we seem to have quietly shelved the idea.

In the end I had a look in waterstones but even that was expensive, since when are paperbacks routinely £14.99! I never even had a coffee or bit of cake as the selection of cakes looked dry and unappetizing but would still have cost £10 in total.

Am I being unreasonable to think the cost of a middle class lifestyle with a few luxuries has had the goalposts moved by quite some amount?

I don’t think high street clothes shopping or buying a cake and coffee qualifies a person as being middle class.

It’s a big part, Liz Truss’s mini budget and Ukraine too.

I’ve had the same summer clothes on for years ! Any Photos of me over lockdown and before and I’m in the same tops and skirts. I wash them all and put them away safely for next year. I did buy a top in the sale , but it was heavily reduced. My friends are the same too. I find clothes hard to source as it is as they all seem so cheaply made and a lot more pricy than they used to be. I feel for families as children have to have new things and even kids clothes don’t seem as reasonably priced either and they have to buy uniforms and school shoes. It must be a nightmare for families.

@Gibgerteaproductivity was struggling before Brexit though and it’s one of the reasons why the vote went the way it did. People were feeling poorer so voted to make it worse.

A huge part is the crash as I said & our housing situation

I do too. They also look at families in the US on SM without realising how much debt, insecurity and high prices they are wrestling with.

But with that per week net income after housing costs you very easily could? But as you note, you’re the top 1% so hardly the squeezed middle

The cost hasn't risen, wages have stayed low

https://www.livingwage.org.uk/news/current-state-low-pay-uk

Exactly. We've just come to view those luxuries as inferior and our modern ones as essential. I will say increased marketing has a lot to do with that.

But although socialism wasn't about rampant consumerism, it was very much bread AND roses. We must have some nice things in life as well as hard work.

My mum could afford to buy the occasional nice item from Laura Ashely it wasn't wasting money it was buying something nice she really liked once in a while. I can't afford to do that ever. Believe it or not people didn't live in sack cloth and ashes in the 70's, 80's and 90's.

You have an after housing cost income of over £5k per week? That’s definitely not middle earning and £100 for a shirt sounds like it would be small change to you.

You can’t be serious, liz truss;s budget is confirmed by all fiscal bodies as not remotely close to as damaging as what Labour has done since in power. Our tax burden is now the highest it’s been in decades . It is now the highest it’s been since 1945.

How often are you expecting to afford the things that you mention, and what's your actual income/area of the country? You list wanting to spend the things in your OP as 'treats' (birthday, coffee and a cake because you rarely go shopping, birthday trip), so if I'm honest I can't see why you wouldn't be able to afford these things as one of treats if you consider yourself middle-class and both have decent jobs. The money must be going elsewhere as a choice.

'Every day' middle-class spending is more like H&M, Zara, Next – which is not £80-100 dresses. And paperback aren't routinely £14.99 – they are £8.99 – £10.99.

I do sympathise with the cost of living, 100%, but it seems as if your money may be going elsewhere by choice (or by short term pain such as young childcare) if you can't afford the things you list as a one off every now and again.

Everybody but the very rich is getting poorer. Even people who think they’re comfortably well off.

I don't think it does either but my point is that in the past someone with a middle class profession and education who was working might reasonably expect to be able to have the odd treat now and again, now it's a think twice situation!

Believe it or not people didn't live in sack cloth and ashes in the 70's, 80's and 90's

Yep, but it’s the MNs narrative!

Laura Ashley launched in the 50s & expanded to more than 100 stores, strange how they did that with everyone window shopping!

I think people need to readjust the concepts of middle-class. What used to be firmly working class, growing vegetables and going on dog walks got repackaged into aspiration activities.

Honestly it’s totally nuts.

Obviously everything has gone up, suppliers have increased bills energy, transport, wages.

I will never not buy new books though, I don’t want literature to either be just written by the wealthy or AI slop, even at £15 for a novel it gives 7/8 hours of joy at least not much is £2 an hour. Use it or lose it really.

And yes coming out if the EU was shooting ourselves in the foot, utter insanity, but that was project fear.

I don’t think considered consumerism is such a bad thing really.

@Daisywhatsyouranswer can you explain why Labour is solely responsible for that?

The odd treat meant once a year not weekly fifty years ago. When a nice bar of soap was a real treat at Christmas. My parents didn’t buy stuff every week. Or every month. And neither did I. We did have a trip to London. Once. In my 18 years living at home.

a lot of people do have odd treats - books and clothes are still selling well.

clearly you can’t afford everything you want at this point in time but I think you are drawing the wrong conclusions

Yes the middle class are the new working class and the working class are the new poor and the poor are still poor. The rich are still rich because it doesn’t affect them.

i get my clothes off Vinted , rarely wear make up and get my books from the library. Sephora monsoon and Waterstones are all expensive places. You can get all those things significantly cheaper else where.

The triple lock alone adds billions to the annual benefits bill so of course taxes have to go up. An ageing population is incredibly expensive particularly when we have done nothing to plan for it.

well, in that case, you'll be able to provide the links to the fiscal evidence that backs up your claim, no?

oh, look, I've done it for you, How have government revenues changed over time? | Institute for Fiscal Studies the numbers and trend don't quite support the claim you are making, because we were pretty much where we are now in 2022-23

Funny that

Yep, I remember looking at the pretty girl's dresses in Monsoon as a child in the 90s and knowing they were unattainable at that price.

But as a young teen I was happily shopping Bay Trading Co and MK One with my pocket money.

Poland and ROI are doing well but Germany and France have stalled or have high debt. Poland has benefitted because it’s levelled up, low CT has aided ROI - we won’t vote for that.

Plus other issues for various countries including here.

Agree, we are a £160k per annum household and husband and I use the local libraries and my daughter volunteers at our local one. We used to use a couple in a bit of a rough area where we used to live and no one was watching porn - are the computers not locked down? When i was a kid you'd get the odd old person in there who probably hadn't had a wash for a week reading the papers. You can get free coffee and tea in ours.

Same as you, I order books as soon as they come out and usually get them quite quickly.

I agree with others - this middle class lifestyle people think they can't afford isn't a lifestyle that has previously been one that the middle class tried to have - new cars all the time, latest phones and tech. It was get things mended and out for meals on special occasions, not buying cocktails every week.

@backformoreofthesame people in the past did not “treat” themselves to 1 cake or beer a year. It’s utter nonsense!

Lyon’s alone had 200 tea shops & there were thousands of bakeries.