AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

Your neighbours are batshit crazy!

I certainly wouldn't be worrying now about whether your lights are annoying them, and I would seriously consider reporting their racism to the police.

And I'd definitely put the Christmas lights on flash for the evening.

I agree with you that your husband should talk to the police about the racist behaviours and numerous complaints. It establishes a precedent and it's on record if they escalate things. And racists have no boundaries, they might do things like call your kids racist slurs when they walk by.

I'd light up my house til it could be seen from space for Xmas (and I don't do Xmas).

Please say to your husband that racism just carries on unless stamped on and reported to the police and actioned etc then it carries on

I do actually believe racists should not be allowed to live in 'peace' if the impedement on their peace is not give into their demand for people doing something perfectly within their rights and legal like placing lights in their own property , and no I dont give a fuck if it makes racists life uncomfortable.

And for the record before I knew these people were dispicable, I would have eared on the side of concidering them out of courtecy even if the OP doesnt 'have' to . Their behavior negates this completely and they dont deserve an ounce.

Please report the racism to the police OP, and give them the Ring footage.

I apologise for thinking you were unreasonable earlier. Now I think you should get the biggest flashing strobe light you can find and shine it directly into their window. And get lots of cats.

Obviously they are racist scum but flashing lights on for hours on a house at night in a built up area are hugely irritating to a lot of very reasonable people, some of whom may well be neighbours of yours.

This is insane. Outdoor Christmas lights, if you really must, can go up mid-December and need to come down by 6 January at the very latest.

Well, that escalated quickly...

Nighttime lights are seriously bad for wildlife and people if they don't have blackout blinds. I'm reading a book by a naturalist who says there's research showing that moths (which we need for pollination and other ecosystem services) get attracted to human-installed lights and go round and round them all night till they die of exhaustion. Why would we do this to other species? If you're worried about security, surely lights that detect motion, and just come on if they detect it, are far more sensible.

Just reading your post made me want to lose my composure. Decorate inside. You must have had quite the display last Christmas to have had comments about "did you leave any for anyone else".

I am so sorry your neighbours are racists. I think they should be reported to the police, incase there are more confrontations..

As prompted by MNHQ in the FIRST POST I suggest you read the updates.

These are serial complainers. They complain about everything. Added to that now they are harassing racist bullies.

Your posts might be more helpful and relevant if you read the first post properly and then ‘see all’ the OPs updates.

You are welcome.

You're talking about people having to live next door to people whose ideologies they oppose. Which is obviously problematic, but is hardly the same thing as a person hurling racist invective at a neighbour simply for having a few lights up. I'd have thought that was obvious.

This thread seems to be making you awfully angry, any particular reason why?

RTFT FFS... 🙄

They just provide a ‘glow’ as we drive up our drive

so you impose them on the neighbours when you are not even home to give you a feel-good factor for a few seconds as you drive up?
Light pollution and waste of electricity as well as tacky as hell!

Report to the police, op, but as a non-emergency "I want this on record" thing.

When we moved into a new house a few years ago (we've since left, largely because the neighbours were horrible) one woman a few doors down seemed hellbent on gossiping about us. She'd whisper and point at our door all the time. No idea why. Never had any altercations, we don't have children they might have been annoyed by. The opposite in fact...

Her daughter and their mates kept congregating in my private front garden. Yep, mine. Not her own. One day I went out and asked them to leave. Politely.

Minutes later the mother came round and tried to defend her precious angel. I told her her daughter had been using my garden, as had her mates. She wasn't having it. Started swearing at us. My partner then told her to get off our property.

A few hours later it all kicked off. The husband came by and almost smashed his fist through our door. You know the type "no one talks to my wife like that" and that sort of crap. He then told us he'd come back and hurt us both.

This was during lockdown so no one should have even been near us.

We reported this as a non-emergency, so the police came round the next day and took notes. We asked for no arrest, as imagine living next to them, then. As it was now on record, if anything happened, they'd be immediately arrested. Nothing did, and we sold up soon after.

I didn’t read the whole thread, just your updates. I’m so sorry that you have to live near racist Aholes.

And in my neck of the woods, people put lights up for all sorts of reasons and all the time, so it wouldn’t bother me. I keep my curtains closed after dark, so I wouldn’t see them anyway.

While flashing lights annoy me, I’d be setting my lights to bright and flashy for those nasty pieces of work across the way!!

For everyone still arguing about the lights, I don't think the OP is particularly opposed to removing the lights. The first post just asked for opinions, but, as you would see if you had read it, the thread has moved on.

It has now emerged that the neighbours are racists nutters who want to restrict who visits the OP's house and their use of car headlights in the dark.

Hope this helps.

Yes, and if I were another nearby neighbour I'd hapily exercise my rights to decorate my house similarly encouraging everyone else around to do so ( I don't really decorate my house with lights normally) , all in the 'Christmas' spirit.

God this is awful. If you’ve got it on camera I’d definitely be wanting to go to the police, but I guess that’s your DH’s call.

Sorry you’ve ending up with neighbours like this, but on the positive side at least you can do what the hell you like now. If they’d come over all polite and pleading you might have felt guilted into yielding to their requests. As it is, you can now ignore them guilt-free. I’d be temped to go full on ‘deck the halls’ this Christmas.

As someone who suffers from migraines and who hates my opposite neighbour's Xmas house lights because they insist on having them on flashing mode, I have empathy BUT I would NEVER make such a selfish request!

She has blinds or curtains. If she needs to, she can use them. As do I!

I also think it may well be bullshit because all of their jabs last Xmas about lights didn't include mentions of migraines.

I bet they've been bubbling up with growing rage that you'll likely have lights up again this Xmas and the earlier autumnal ones have sent them over the edge 😂

If I were you, I'd be filling my basket with LOTS of HUGE halloween lights that you can put up immediately after taking the autumn lights down and leave up until the Xmas ones go up.

Let pettiness be your reply to their letter!

Cheeky bastards!

I would inform the police and show them the footage.
In case this escalates.
Sorry @AutumnLighting , please know that most of us are appalled and disgusted by these people's behaviour

Personally speaking, when you are dealing with people like this who are spoiling for a fight, you have two options, ignore them or document it. I don't think ignoring them will work and you are a stronger person than me if you can do that.

Documentation, runs the risk of escalation but I personally believe you need to keep an audit trail because they will no doubt later re-invent what has been said and done in their favour.

I would write to them outlining events to date. i.e Tues 2nd Sept, knocked on door at 7am to complain about the lights which were not on and that our cat is pooing in their garden - advised we do not have a cat. etc

As to the visit were they were racist, I would record that and include that too.

I would remain reasonable and state that you do not have the flash facility on your current outdoor lights and when you put up your Christmas Lights, as a concession to them and as a gesture of goodwill, you will not use the flash setting on those.

Be factual, be fair, be accurate. You don't have to make the statement that it is unreasonable to call around to a neighbours at that hour of the morning, just say it was 7am and you were all in bed and the lights were not on. You can make your point without inflaming it,

Keep notes on who you have spoken to and what they had said, i.e guy on pub and neighbour overhearing the shouting. Keep any door bell or CCTV footage.

Do the neighnours in question own their home, is it rented privately or from the local authority. Not now but if things escalate and they are renting, consider writing tot he landlord about their racist behaviour.

Did the people you purchased the house from say anything about problematic neighbours? All things to think about.

I think they are jumping the shark