Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

690 replies

AutumnLighting · Yesterday 22:51

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Edited by MNHQ to add a Cancel The Cheque Klaxon: this thread has moved on quite a lot so it's worth reading through all the OP's posts before replying

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
LilloLil · Today 13:42

HollyhocksandPeons · Today 13:34

May all of your 'problems' with your neighbours be of the same variety! You must live in a very genteel neighbourhood. I am jealous - our neighbours' trampoline was not securely fastened and in gale winds a couple of years ago it was lifted and flew into our garden, where it proceeded to bounce off our trees, our bird cage, and the fence, finally blowing into the garden gate, ripping it off and knocking the fence off with it. They never offered to fix it or remedy it in any way. As I say, may all of your 'problems' with neighbours be of the same variety!

What!

You are hoping that the OPs other neighbours all call her husband racist names?

Grammarnut · Today 13:43

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Today 12:27

It is autumn, it's September.

Autumn begins at the autumn equinox, 22nd Sept.

dreamiesformolly · Today 13:43

Mischance · Today 12:17

I think you need to work a bit harder at being a good neighbour and considering the feelings of others.

The lights are wholly unnecessary but are causing a nuisance to your neighbour, so take them down.

Have you read OP's update?

Thindog · Today 13:44

godmum56 · Today 12:57

lay off rhe elderly please. The peopl who harassed me so badly that I got the police involved were half my age.

I am not attacking the elderly, but it’s a fact that after retirement, for some people, their world shrinks, to the extent that small irritations become major events in their lives.

Marellain · Today 13:45

I dont think it’s relevant that your neighbours are racist.

The issue is that your lighting use is problematic.

Lots of people are racist, lots are homophobic, lots are mysogynists, many are pedophiles. That doesn’t mean we bitterly harass them with light pollution.

HollyhocksandPeons · Today 13:47

LilloLil · Today 13:42

What!

You are hoping that the OPs other neighbours all call her husband racist names?

Not a word in the original post about racism - so if it is a drip-feed, then fuck it, am not into reading drip-feeds.

AhBiscuits · Today 13:48

Enjoy turning your house into Santa's grotto come December. You'd be able to see my house from space. Racist fucks deserve migraines.

bananaobama · Today 13:49

Why have you put up xmas lights? Do you plan to leave them up until January?

Carandache18 · Today 13:50

Carandache18 · Today 13:38

Flashing, or dimming or those horrible trickling icicle lights do my head in. And in general, dark is meant to be dark. Two weeks at Christmas is more than enough.
I like wreaths on doors though.

Sorry OP, just read your update.
I think you should report them to the police. A long time ago, in a different but very unpleasant situation, we had to do the same. The police set up a log, with a number, and listed incidents under that number.
I can see the problem with the lights, but doesn't seem to be about lights.

Marellain · Today 13:51

À police log. Excellent. That’ll sort ‘em.

PrawnFree · Today 13:53

Sounds like the neighbours are racist but the OP is still selfish about the lights. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

bananaobama · Today 13:54

Lights on houses can be intrusive but these people sound unhinged with their peculiar demands

Ignore them

GoodkneeBadKnee · Today 13:57

I dont think it’s relevant that your neighbours are racist.

I actually cannot...

CatLady199 · Today 13:57

Currymaker · Today 13:19

I simply can't understand why you'd do this. Your neighbours don't like the lights - you do. But it's only your neighbours who get to fully see them - you don't. So why would you be so mean?

Oh FFS 🙄🤦

bigboykitty · Today 13:57

Your lights sound well over the top, but it's absolutely none of your neighbours' business. They are nuisance neighbours and you have indulged them far too much already. I would tell them once to report any concerns they have to the relevant authority (!) but not to approach you ever again or you will report them to the police for harassment. And if they break this, absolutely report them on 101. They sound insane and trying to appease them will absolutely make things worse.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · Today 13:57

HollyhocksandPeons · Today 13:47

Not a word in the original post about racism - so if it is a drip-feed, then fuck it, am not into reading drip-feeds.

It’s not a drip feed but things have moved on.
MNHQ edited the op some time ago to suggest everyone reads the updates.

mimbleandlittlemy · Today 13:58

Grammarnut · Today 13:43

Autumn begins at the autumn equinox, 22nd Sept.

Meteorologically it started on 1st September. The meteorological dates are 1st September, 1st December, 1st March and 1st June.

Which is a bit of an aside in a thread where the OP's husband has been racially abused, but there we go.

Fortheloveoffrogs · Today 13:58

HollyhocksandPeons · Today 13:34

May all of your 'problems' with your neighbours be of the same variety! You must live in a very genteel neighbourhood. I am jealous - our neighbours' trampoline was not securely fastened and in gale winds a couple of years ago it was lifted and flew into our garden, where it proceeded to bounce off our trees, our bird cage, and the fence, finally blowing into the garden gate, ripping it off and knocking the fence off with it. They never offered to fix it or remedy it in any way. As I say, may all of your 'problems' with neighbours be of the same variety!

Er. Are you saying you support harassment and racism? Or are you yet another one who hasn’t even read the first post properly yet alone the updates?

TinytToddler · Today 13:59

Just read your update: your culdesac is going to look beautiful at Christmas with everyone’s lights up!

I agree flashing lights should stop around 9pm and go static or off, but the more the merrier! I loved the first chrismtas in lockdown as everyone made so much effort. Hardly saw any lights last year and it was sad.

lovely lights are so lovely!

dreamiesformolly · Today 14:00

Marellain · Today 13:45

I dont think it’s relevant that your neighbours are racist.

The issue is that your lighting use is problematic.

Lots of people are racist, lots are homophobic, lots are mysogynists, many are pedophiles. That doesn’t mean we bitterly harass them with light pollution.

'Bitterly harass'? 'Light pollution'? You seriously think the level of light OP is describing warrants that level of hyperbole, let alone excusing the harassment and racism displayed by these so-called human beings?

Marellain · Today 14:00

GoodkneeBadKnee · Today 13:57

I dont think it’s relevant that your neighbours are racist.

I actually cannot...

Do you think that racists arent people that deserve to live in peace? Are you so conditioned that you think racism means people arent fellow human beings ?!

Demonising beliefs you don’t like isn’t working in our society is it? Feminists have to live alongside Muslim families where the women are barely allowed to open the door or be seen. Does that mean feminists should harass Muslims with flashing lights?

Fortheloveoffrogs · Today 14:01

Marellain · Today 13:51

À police log. Excellent. That’ll sort ‘em.

It lays the paper trail in case it escalates. On a wider scale it helps us as a society to look at trends. If the police take action it may teach them a lesson and they might think twice next time.

pusspuss9 · Today 14:01

CatVDog · Today 11:07

Presumably you wouldn’t be at OPs door asking if her husband speaks English, calling him a racist slur and telling him to go home though.

Why try to defend it? I wonder.

please point out where I'm defending anything? I'm asking which of the points made is the more important? both the racism and the bright lights are issues.
For me (being white) the bright lights beaming into my house would be an immediate issue. The racism would also be an immediate issue had I been present. If had been present I would have had to say something., and I would have done. Both issues are important-

Charlottian · Today 14:02

@AutumnLighting Please try and persuade your husband to report this racial harassment. I’m so sorry this happened. Some people are despicable.
@PrawnFree op’s neighbours also complained about op’s non existent cat, and tried to tell op she can’t drive forward out of her own driveway at night. It’s clear the lights are a non issue and the neighbours are racist pricks determined to antagonise them.
@HollyhocksandPeons no drip feed. The racism happened after op started the thread.

CatLady199 · Today 14:03

Marellain · Today 13:45

I dont think it’s relevant that your neighbours are racist.

The issue is that your lighting use is problematic.

Lots of people are racist, lots are homophobic, lots are mysogynists, many are pedophiles. That doesn’t mean we bitterly harass them with light pollution.

Have you heard yourself? 😮

Swipe left for the next trending thread