AIBU to keep our lights up despite neighbour complaining?

[AutumnLighting]

We moved into our house just before Christmas last year. We are one of 6 houses on a lane in an u shape and our house is directly opposite one of the other houses. All of the houses are set back so we are not close to the houses opposite.

When we moved in last year, we put up lights on our house and in two of our trees at the front of our house as well as 2 nutcrackers and a Christmas wreath on the door. Nothing garish, just white lights. Every time we saw the neighbours opposite they would comment on the lights and decorations. They said things like that’s is a lot of lights, did you leave any in the shop for anyone else, we certainly can’t miss you etc. We took the lights down in January.

This is now our first autumn in the house and my husband has put up some lights along the front of the house, a garland around the front door and a wreath on the door. We went out for the evening and have come home to a note from the neighbour opposite which said she doesn’t like the lights, none of the past neighbours have ever put them up and that the lights will give her migraines like the ones we put up at Christmas did. She would like us to remove the lights.

How do we respond to this? My husband thinks we just ignore it but I said she will talk to us when we see her if we don’t go over and talk to her about it. He said he’ll tell her not to look at the lights. What would you say? We obviously plan to put the lights up for Christmas again this year so that isn’t going to go down well either.

We know she has moaned about other things to some of the other neighbours like their grandchildren playing outside on their bikes so she seems to be a moaner.

Not read the updates.

You'd still side with those vile neighbours after the latest update from the OP? 😡

You must file a report with the police 😔

I’ll get rid of my solar lanterns in the back garden when the council turn off the street lights. My garden wildlife pond is thriving, thanks.

The neighbour does appear to be a bit of a “serial moaner” …… objecting to children playing on their bikes but naturally, we only have one side of the story.
To be fair, exterior decorative lights for autumn does seem a bit OTT, something the Americans do but it something so popular in the UK is it?
Either way OP, if your lights do flash then reset them to constant if you have to have them at all………flashing lights can trigger migraines. All things in moderation is the way forward, just give a little consideration to others.

Presume you'll live in your house for the foreseeable - remember that if you're selling, you need to declare any conflicts if you've reported them to the police.

That said, I would report. A police visit may stop them ever coming to your house again, which is the result you want. I bet they're scared of authorities. With a bit of luck the police will send some officers of the same ethnicity as your DH round.

I'm generally anti light and pro dark, but that doesn't mean they get to be rude or that they're right.

Racists don’t deserve consideration. Here’s hoping she has terrible migraines all day every day.

Read the op’s update at 9.21 am.

Also she has confirmed multiple times her lights don’t flash.

I'd be wanting to put that footage online for the world to see what racist cunts they are @AutumnLighting but you are probably a better person than me.
Sad thing is, I suspect many of the posters on this thread are incredibly similar to your delightful neighbours. The way they rush to berate someone for finding joy in anything.
It's fucking tedious. To give the benefit of the doubt, I suspect loneliness plays a huge part in the reason for doing so.

I would lodge with the police so they have a record, it doesn't need to go any further if you don't want it to, but it does need to be lodged with them.

I've changed my vote to YANBU even though I don't like light pollution and flashing lights give me a migraine. But these neighbours are clearly racist assholes and I'd say go full out with the most garish lights you can find - and if you can set them to music even better.

Unreal.

You want the OP to be supportive of a blatantly RACIST and abusive neighbour?

Wild.

WTAF are ‘autumn lights’?😂 I bet you post on fiendbook when the red cups come in at Costa and it’s Pumpkin Spice Time 😁. What is wrong with you OP? 🤦‍♀️Can’t you fill that need with other more useful things?

If your drive needs lights, you can get low placed individual spiked lights, solar powered.

Seriously though, two things: 1. Do read the room of your new neighbourhood and have some respect for others and 2. We’ve just had the hottest summer ever, drought, and an horrific melting glacier killing hundreds in Nepal/ Tibet. Do you really think use of energy for you ‘autumn lights’ are considerate in our climate crisis? See my point about solar powered low level useful lights. They do give a nice glow.

It will make absolutely no difference what the op does or doesn’t do. If they can complain about her cat when she hasn’t got a cat then she might as well have the lights she wants.

On every thread, loads of posters don’t bother reading all the OP’s posts. It’s quite frustrating but it’s a common and lazy practice. I’m not sure anyone should be berating people who haven’t read the final update from the OP, and immediately accusing them of being unpleasant, racist etc themselves.

I think the person who probably needs to read the room is you @SurferRona

Yes, sorry, I have just read that comment. And wish I’d seen it before my response. And the bit about reversing out of their driveway at night because of the car headlights is just bat shit!!! Highway Code advises drivers to reverse onto driveways and drive forward off driveways for safety….we always do that for best visibility, particularly in darkness!

Fucking hell 🤦‍♀️ I despair.

Someone’s made a twat of themselves. 🤣

I think it was somewhat unfortunate that the poster started her post with ‘I think I agree with your neighbour’. 😵

Some of these replies are ridiculous. How does she cope in the real world where there are lights all over the place? Does she complain to the council about streetlights? Do traffic lights give her migraines too? What about the screen on her phone? Complains to Apple about that too? Piss right off love. The world doesn’t revolve around your demands. The neighbours don’t have to live under her rules. Please do not pander to her unreasonable demands. Ignore the letter and ignore her too. Don’t let her control your actions. Put even more lights up.

Wow, just wow!! I'm sorry you had to deal with that his morning @AutumnLighting What a way to start the day! I am seething on your behalf! I thought the were nuts from the start, but your latest update proves it. Please ask your husband to reconsider contacting the police. I can understand he will have suffered abuse like this, and worse over the years, but it doesn't make it acceptable, just because hes used to it. Racists need to be called out every time!
I hope the rest of your day is better. 💐

They are revolting people, @AutumnLighting , and you need to report them to the police for their racist hate speech. Include the full footage if you report online to 101 so they have the evidence front and centre.

They are attempting to control the behaviour of all their neighbours because they are black/brown, and doing it with racist intimidation. They are banking on you all being too polite to do anything about it.

Stand up to them, enjoy your home decorations and I hope they get a swift visit from a PCSO at the very least. People like them get away with this sort of shit too often.

You really should report to the police so that this is on record at the very least.

I would doubt it, she just thinks that she has a trump card. I have a lovely neighbour across but my heart sinks when 1st December comes along, he has a huge display until mid January, I just close the curtains, others like his dispay!

You can’t reason with the unreasonable.