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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take/send DH to local walk-in?

40 replies

Lentilcakes · 31/08/2026 09:25

DH’s back has ‘gone’. He has a weak spot there and has fairly regular osteopathy appts to keep things supple, but on Sat pm it went in to spasm again and he’s been hobbling around the house and can no way walk outside the house. He’s ok to be left )I had my own arrangements yesterday and adult dd was here if he needed assistance.
i think he should go to our local walk-in to get some stronger painkillers/anti-spasmodics but he’s resisting (unf I can’t drive for medical reasons but we could uber in 10 mins). Ibuprofen doing nothing and I’ve got some codiene from an op I had but he won’t take that either!!

OP posts:
Pedant61 · 31/08/2026 09:26

He's an adult - he gets to decide what he does (or doesn't do).

RochelleGoyle · 31/08/2026 09:27

Why is he resisting getting help?

risingup · 31/08/2026 09:27

I'm with a PP. Let him decide what to do, he's a grown up after all. Same goes with whether or not to take pain relief.

Firefly100 · 31/08/2026 09:28

He is being completely unreasonable and I’d tell him he is being an idiot but it is his body and you can’t treat him like a child.
What I would do is not put myself out more to accommodate someone who won’t help himself.

Patriciastaser · 31/08/2026 09:29

I doubt they'd prescribe anything stronger. It sounds like he needs to keep moving and let it heal. Has he tried ibuprofen gel? I use it for my arthritis and it works well.

HoraceCope · 31/08/2026 09:30

does he need diazepam?

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · 31/08/2026 09:32

He will not be a priority and I can guarantee that sitting on an A&E chair for 8 hours won't help him.

Evaka · 31/08/2026 09:32

It's up to him. The most they'll do is prescribe codeine which you already have at home. V unlikely to give dizapam or similar if you're in the uk because the NHS is convinced it immediately turns you into a raving junkie.

It's agony but it does pass. Any way he'd get down into child pose? It's the right stretch to start gradually correcting the spasm. But only when he's past the 'have I been shot in the spine?' stage.

ThisRareOtter · 31/08/2026 09:32

If you've got codeine at home and he won't take it, then there's no point taking him to a walk in centre where they are likely to prescribe the same thing. It's so so painful when your back goes, but often time and keeping moving is the best way to recover. Hopefully he can get an urgent osteopath appointment tomorrow

Loulou4022 · 31/08/2026 09:33

He’s an adult so he’s free to make his own decisions. As a caring wife you can make suggestions, painkillers, walk in centre but it’s his choice whether to take them. Some men are just stubborn (as are some women before I get flamed! I’m a stubborn ass myself) DH has fibromyalgia and doesn’t like taking painkillers so I just ask would you like some painkillers. On occasions if I can see he’s in agonising pain I just put them on his plate with his meal without saying anything and 9 times out of 10 he’ll take them!

Joliloily · 31/08/2026 09:36

The poster who said they won’t prescribe anything stronger than ibuprofen, is wrong. There are several stronger painkillers he could have and a muscle relaxant like diazepam would help.

I can’t help wondering how bad he actually is if he’s resisting getting help.

OneNewLeader · 31/08/2026 09:36

It largely depends on the cause. Most of my friends have back/shoulder problems, as adults we handle the various lapses. We don’t wander around ‘in agony’ refusing help. Crack on with your day and assume he’ll make adjustments to his routine and seek help if he needs it.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 31/08/2026 09:37

you can’t take/send a grown adult for medical intervention if they don’t want to go
stop infantilising him

Patriciastaser · 31/08/2026 09:41

Joliloily · 31/08/2026 09:36

The poster who said they won’t prescribe anything stronger than ibuprofen, is wrong. There are several stronger painkillers he could have and a muscle relaxant like diazepam would help.

I can’t help wondering how bad he actually is if he’s resisting getting help.

Edited

Lots of painkillers he could have, and they'd probably do a good job. The NHS is unlikely to prescribe them though.

Mumoftwoteenagers · 31/08/2026 09:43

One of the things I was told when I damaged my neck / back was that it is really important to take the painkillers that you need. Being in pain makes you tense and that can make the damage worse. So you actually need to take your next lot of painkillers before the last lot wears off.

I used to alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen which can have 4 and 3 doses in 24 hours. So I would have a strict 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm & 10pm schedule which left me one dose for the middle of the night. After a couple of days I delayed a dose to see if I was healing and discovered I suddenly couldn’t speak for pain and so carried on. I think it was nearly a week before I was able to reduce the doses to every 4 hours.

ladyb2gw · 31/08/2026 09:45

I have a rule in my house. Take proper medication or see a dr, if you want then you get no sympathy from me. It drives me mad. Im not saying pop a pill at every ache but when you are ill
or in real pain take the right pills. My dhs favourite was to take one paracetamol and then say “no point they don’t work for me”

Lentilcakes · 31/08/2026 10:12

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · 31/08/2026 09:32

He will not be a priority and I can guarantee that sitting on an A&E chair for 8 hours won't help him.

It’s not A&E, it’s minor injuries.

OP posts:
Joliloily · 31/08/2026 10:20

Patriciastaser · 31/08/2026 09:41

Lots of painkillers he could have, and they'd probably do a good job. The NHS is unlikely to prescribe them though.

They would prescribe them. I’ve been there and been prescribed tramadol and diazepam.

Lentilcakes · 31/08/2026 10:24

Thanks all - just to answer a few questions

  1. hes not taking regular painkillers. I asked him last night at bedtime if he’d taken ibuprofen- no he hadn’t. ‘I’ll leave them by my bed in case’. Ok!
  2. im not infantilising him. I can’t drag him there but I still think if he’s open to diazepam he should take it cos he’s just making it worse for himself. I used to take diclofenac for my back years ago but it’s been discontinued in pill form now as that was a wonder drug! My back is fine now.
  3. May see if I can get the voltarol that you rub on. I’m going out later so will look then.
  4. He’s pretty bad - never seen him hobble so much! I mean he can get up, wash and hobble about, get his breakfast but can’t walk outside and he’s holding on to furniture, surfaces around the house. And making ‘pain’ noises. I’d say pain was about a 7 but I will ask him.

I have loads of medical issues and I know when I have to get medical help and when I can manage myself. I’m not a martyr - DH is very solicitous but he doesn’t like it when I do it to him. He is very stubborn.

Maybe he can do an e consult tmw?

OP posts:
rivalsbinge · 31/08/2026 10:24

I got morphine and diazepam from my GP after a back spasm rendered me bed bound for 3 weeks, it’s what enabled me to get up and move about. So it maybe worth getting something stronger so he can move his way out of this. Also he has my sympathy it’s horrid.

Trumptontown · 31/08/2026 10:33

A walk in centre won’t prescribe anything stronger than co-codamol so you’ll be wasting your (and his) time. Mine even has a sign up saying they won’t prescribe benzos. He would be better off seeing the GP and asking for a short course of diazepam to relieve the spasms (and other painkillers if you think he’ll take them if they’re prescribed as opposed to your codeine which he’s rejecting). My sympathies to him - back pain and spasms are awful. It will pass though. Once he’s through this he should look at taking up something like Pilates to strengthen his back and core.

Absolutelynot2 · 31/08/2026 10:35

Firefly100 · 31/08/2026 09:28

He is being completely unreasonable and I’d tell him he is being an idiot but it is his body and you can’t treat him like a child.
What I would do is not put myself out more to accommodate someone who won’t help himself.

This.

Lovecatssowonderfullypretty · 31/08/2026 10:36

OP, maybe check out the NICE guidelines on managing back pain... lots of evidence based answers there.

Patriciastaser · 31/08/2026 11:24

Joliloily · 31/08/2026 10:20

They would prescribe them. I’ve been there and been prescribed tramadol and diazepam.

It's extremely unlikely he'd be prescribed them for a 'gone' back that he's seeing an osteo for. I have arthritis and attend a pain clinic - they wouldn't prescribe the strong stuff (not that I asked...).

OttersOnAPlane · 31/08/2026 11:30

He's an adult. One behaving stupidly, but still an adult.

Point out that by refusing codeine he's doing more damage to his back because he's holding it awkwardly which only compounds the problem.
The correct way to handle back pain is ice packs and heating pads, anti inflammatories to reduce swelling and appropriate painkillers.

Refusing to take anything isn't being stoic, it's being stupid and self-sabotaging .