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Friendship dynamics

7 replies

Watermeloncocktail · 30/08/2026 13:39

Not sure what topic this fits under....

I recently lost a parent to a long a difficult illness. It's been a difficult road and trying to navigate life now has been challenging.

I am filled with gratitude for how some people have acted and filled with resentment towards others. I'm not sure if that's healthy but it is what it is. One relationship in particular has really got to me and I'm struggling to cope with it. (Probably just my mind looking for a distraction)

My friend of 15 years completely ghosted me after the funeral...well we had a little get together a week after the funeral with close friends and family which my friend told me they would attend. (They are a close friend and my family care a great deal about them)

Said friend did not show, with no text, call or explanation, nothing! I did send a couple of texts over a period of two weeks after asking were they ok, how are they etc but no reply.

After a couple of weeks, I texted asking had I offended them which did get a response, they said they had been very busy and gave few other excuses which just don't make sense. They had been very active on social media, posting silly edits and videos of nonsense.

They met up with other friends practically every day but couldn't send me a 5 word text. They have since added me to a group chat with their new friend group and are trying to include me in things they even brought their new friend to my house.

I'm just confused as to why I'm being plonked in the middle of this Friend group? I find it embarrassing like it's a pitty parade and what if the others don't want me in their group...they don't know me! My friend can't do anything without this new friend group and I think the only reason at attempting to add me was to smooth things over as I'm sure they have a group chat without me 😂

It all feels very immature and petty. These attempts of inclusion have only pushed me further away and I don't feel they are genuine because why not do it before now? I think my friend feels that I am jealous of their new friend group. That just adds to the hurt and humiliation as that's simply not true. It was how they treated me that annoyed me and they've completely overlooked that!

What should I do?

OP posts:
SALaw · 30/08/2026 14:26

They had a feature on exactly this happening on Radio 2 at about 1pm on Friday (Jeremy Vine show but with Tina Daheely presenting). Worth a listen back as there was some advice on that.

Watermeloncocktail · 30/08/2026 14:29

SALaw · 30/08/2026 14:26

They had a feature on exactly this happening on Radio 2 at about 1pm on Friday (Jeremy Vine show but with Tina Daheely presenting). Worth a listen back as there was some advice on that.

I'll try and find it. Thank you! 😘

OP posts:
ShitFacedShakespeare · 30/08/2026 14:35

What should I do?

Talk to her/him and tell them how you feel and the reason you're upset?

OriginalUsername2 · 30/08/2026 14:43

This is too much nonsense to deal within your situation. I’d concentrate on the friends that showed up for you.

Watermeloncocktail · 30/08/2026 16:18

ShitFacedShakespeare · 30/08/2026 14:35

What should I do?

Talk to her/him and tell them how you feel and the reason you're upset?

I did but the response has been to "include me in some joint activities" it makes me look a bit desperate 😔

OP posts:
Watermeloncocktail · 30/08/2026 22:12

OriginalUsername2 · 30/08/2026 14:43

This is too much nonsense to deal within your situation. I’d concentrate on the friends that showed up for you.

Thanks 😘 definitely not in the right head space to deal with it

OP posts:
RealBlueMoon · 30/08/2026 22:29

This is obviously quite common because it has actually been on the radio all week. One psychologist that I happened to hear believes that some people just don't know what to do or say after a bereavement so they find it easier to avoid meeting instead. Not sure if that's what is happening in your situation.
This is Richard E. Grant's story.
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/richard-e-grant-wife-death-cause-b3037819.html

Richard E Grant ‘edited’ friends out of his life after wife’s death

Grant’s wife of 35 years, Joan Washington, died in 2021 at the age of 74

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/richard-e-grant-wife-death-cause-b3037819.html

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