AIBU to think my neighbour is overstepping about plants and cats?

[dancetojoydivison]

Looking for advice, aware there was a post made for April Fools 2 years ago! However this one is genuine.
I have lived in a ground floor flat for 5 years, which has an enclosed walled patio garden. I love the garden and it’s a little haven in the middle of the city. I have enjoyed planting and growing varieties of cut flowers.
I have neighbour next door who has a very similar set up to me, enclosed walled garden and she too enjoys her garden in the same way I do.
Neighbour took on a stray cat approximately a year ago, the cat roams locally to where we live (particularly the abandoned building next door). I too have a cat, he was also a stray, he does not roam and is very much a homebody. He is territorial over the garden and will chase away any other cats who may consider coming in.
My neighbour has become slightly overbearing, in what I should and shouldn’t be putting in my garden. This includes slug killer (pet safe version), coffee grounds, and weed killer. I have always kept her informed when I have used it which gives her the choice of keeping her cat inside if she wishes. Previously she has stopped maintenance workers from weeding areas in the car park as they were using weed killer, went as far as to write a note on the weed killer solution when they went on break naming it ‘cat killer’.
My issue now, I mentioned I went looking for tulip bulbs over text, and she replied with a screenshot of information of tulip toxicity and the complications they can cause to cats if ingested, particularly the bulbs.
My cat has zero interest in my plants (he much prefers sunbathing). I have grown daffodils and tulips for years with cats and had zero issues. I know that this is simply to safeguard her cat however I’m feeling that this is beyond controlling and passive aggressive and her cat is not my responsibility. Her cat also free roams around the area so it doesn’t make any sense for her to be overly concerned about what’s in my garden.
Any advice on how to deal with this?

You’re giving her the information to feed this. Stop telling her what you’re doing.

She has the right to ask. You have rhe right to ignore.
Just dont tell her what you are doing in future. Unless she's your bosom buddy(in which case i assume you would care about her cat) why are you sending her texts about what bulbs you are thinking of buying?

Cats should be indoors bit stop telling people things

Such a fair point, will absolutely take it on board. I will say she does come round frequently for catch ups. I naively didn’t think that tulips would be an issue.

Yes, as above, stop telling her!

Ignore her and enjoy your garden how you want to. She sounds utterly mad to be honest with you. Don’t indulge this any further.

I’d finished a nightshift, waited for a supermarket to open and they didn’t have them in stock yet. I was just airing frustration at my wasted time. It wasn’t to goad or seek a reaction.
Fully taking on board the advice of not over indulging information. Thank you for the responses.

The love of the cats and gardens will tear you apart...again 🤷🏼‍♀️🤭🫣

I’m not a cat owner but would cats actually dig up and eat tulip bulbs?!

I’d just ignore the message or reply “good to know” and then carry on your business. As someone said above, if her cat roams tulip bulbs will be low down the list of neighbourhood dangers.

I have a stupid cat, who once took to his bed because of a single lick of a chocolate fountain I hadn't covered quickly enough (it never occurred to me he would lick it - he's never shown any interest in human food other than raw meat before).

Even he has never bothered with Tulip bulbs.

Agree with everyone else here - you're just going to have to try to be less chatty :)

I voted YABU because it's 100% none of her business and you shouldn't be texting her about your private affairs.

No they wouldn't

YABU to use slug and weed killer. Tulip bulbs are not an issue though.

As with all unwanted "advice", just completely blank it and move on, and if they raise it again a vague "oh that's interesting" and move on.
I'd draw the line at planting lillies though 😂

Never known a cat to show the slightest interest in a tulip bulb. Time to put your neighbour on an information diet!

Respond with "thanks for letting me know" any time she tells you something like this. That's it. And then make the decisions you were going to make

Agree with this. Throwing toxic chemicals into nature is bonkers, blanting tulips is normal.

I’ve tried copper trim, beer traps and eggshells and nothing is effective! If you could extend advice on this I’d be so grateful.

’information diet’ has tickled me 😅

I am convinced that London slugs are different to the rest of the world. I have tried literally every single deterrent ... like you. Copper, coffee etc etc. None of it works. And they literally kill everything edible within about a day or two. All my leafy herbs like basil ... stripped to the stalks. Any lettuce or stuff I plant for food same.
So I have 2 cats and I also use the non toxic pellets. My cats have never even sniffed thr pellets. The slugs are not gone as they do eat bits of plants but they do not cause such devastation any more.

When she sends you stuff on how dangerous different things are, send her articles explaining how much safer indoor only cats are.

Or just say "Good to know." and ignore.

She can ask, and you can refuse.

But I agree with other posters: slug pellets and weedkillers do too much harm. Slug pellets also kill the hedgehogs and other animals that predate upon slugs and snails. Use a slug pub instead. If you absolutely must use weedkiller (I only use it every few years, very selectively, on brambles, ivy and saplings that I haven’t managed to keep under control any other way), spray it in twilight, after the bees and other daytime pollinators have gone to sleep. Do not use a torch, as that will attract nighttime pollinators.

Slug pub:
Bury a small bowl in the soil so that the rim is at ground level. Pour some beer in. Put a tray (or similar) over it to keep the rain and mud out, propped on some stones (or similar) to make a gap large enough for slugs and snails, but too small for other animals. Put a brick (or similar) on top to stop even larger animals from dismantling the trap. Slugs and snails love beer. They will charge in from up to 5m away, dive into the pub, and drown happily. Check your pub every couple of weeks or so. If it’s mostly slugs, tip it out on the ground for the hedgehogs and order beneficial wildlife to enjoy, and refill. If it’s not working, try a different beer.

I could understand her concern about something like lilies because cats can brush against the pollen. But IME cats don’t eat bulbs, so either this cat is an idiot or she’s overstepping on the tulip bulbs.

The only thing I’ve found effective for slugs and snails, and it works really well, is pampas grass leaves chopped to a couple of cm long. A little goes a long way. I haven’t lost any plants to slugs and snails this year, there has only been a small amount of damage in places where they can drop in from above. Using this method requires either knowing someone who has a pampas grass or growing one yourself (in a large pot) but it’s very effective. In previous years I went on the hunt in the night with a torch but it’s tedious, slimy and then you have boxes of slugs to dispose of