AIBU to think lifestyle expectations and spending habits have risen enormously?

[Hiredgun]

For context, I’m a late 30s millennial. Grew up in Scotland.

Back then, almost nobody had a brand new car. People went abroad once a year if they were lucky. Eating out was very rare, maybe a handfull of times per. Getting a new kitchen was rare as was buying most household items. Kids often got cast off clothes from their siblings. Coffee & wine were basic.

Fast forward to today and it’s unbelievable what I see now.

Almost everybody drives a brand new car

Some of my friends go on multiple holidays per year. One is just back from her 7th trip abroad.

People buy properties and spend six figures immediately renovating them.

People are very fussy with wine. One of my friends only drinks champagne if doing fizz. Another will only drink certain types of Italian red wine.

I have a friend who spent 3K on a coffee machine and he recently asked if the coffee I served him at mine was single source.

Another friend wants me to go on a golfing holiday for a stag do abroad. Basic cost is £3K as it involves a private chef on a boat.

And cheese…. one of my friends only buys cheese from a deli. It’s beautiful but they’re spending a hundred quid plus a month just on cheese.

Some of my friends eat out 2/3 times per week. That was an average in a year for lots of people when I was a kid.

AIBU to question this? I know some of it may be debt but perhaps people’s expectations have risen enormously? Anybody else seeing this type of behaviour.

I think social media has made us think that the luxury lifestyle is normal. We see our feeds of people holidaying and doing amazing things and we think we should be doing the big ticket items every week. I can see how it is easy to want to keep up and how easy it would be to get into debt over fear of missing out.

Oh come on… maybe if you’re 14

What’s the point of this post? You think we all need to live a more frugal blitz spirit style lifestyle?

Depends on the circles you move in. I grew up very wealthy in the 80s and can't afford to give my kids a fraction of the sort of childhood I had (4 holidays a year, private school, more trips to Disney than I can remember)

No I don't see it.
Though I have heard of it.
I think you are mixing with the wrong type of people.
Get better friends.

Agree! We are probably considered an affluent family but we had one holiday a year ,took the kids out once every few months for a meal,birthday parties at home .
Entertainment involved trips to parks and having friends over for lunch/ tea and sleepovers. Myself and friends mixed and matched,helping each other out with childcare.
My children have happy memories from their childhood…so much more freedom.
I drive a 2007 car and am absolutely not fussed about changing my car until it conks out!

They aren’t good friends because… they have money and are able to afford things the Op can’t?

YANBU. I agree! Speaking for myself, and I can see the correlation, we have chosen to have children slightly later on in life (my parents were early 20s). Not having children means I currently live a lifestyle similar to some of your friends. That will change once we have children, no doubt!

The standard of living has gone up in some ways but I also think some items just arent as luxurious as they used to be in that 1 hour at minimum wage is closer to a bottle of champagne now than a low wage was then, but further from a house deposit.

Car ownership model has absolutely changed people used to buy even new cars in cash. Now people rent them for a bit with a deposit. So have holidays with air bnb and budget airlines changed holidays.

YABU … I know lots of people too that going on 3-4 holidays abroad in nice hotels and have nice newish car, go to nice restaurants several times
a month and I have no idea how they afford it. Well done to them!

And I thought I was doing well managing to take the kids abroad once a year for a week 😂

Yayy I’m above average.

What has the OP said that makes them sound like bad friends? Or are you saying that they’re bad people because they spend money?

I'll add the cost of dogs in.

We had a dog in the 80s/90s but there wasn't dog insurance to pay (probably because a 10k operation wasn't an option) , expensive delivered dog food, dog walkers etc.

Everyone I work with seems to shell out several hundred a month on their dogs.

YANBU - lifestyle expectations have grown hugely since I was a child (70’s and 80’s). My lifestyle is a lot more materialist than my parents ever was, but my income was also a multiple of theirs.

Even though I had the income to afford new cars, I’ve never bought one. Usually buy something 3/4 years old so it has done a lot of depreciating. Currently our cars are 31, 11, 10 and 8 years old - just starting to think we might need to replace the 10 year old one as it approaches 150k miles on the clock.

Only thing I’ve ever bought on finance is a house. Never not paid a credit card off at the end of the month. If I wanted something I saved for it, like my parents did.

While we certainly eat out more than they did, and do enjoy the occasional Michelin Star meal, we also meal plan each week, batch cook and freeze regularly, etc.

I think the point you raise is an important one - politically / for the country. The UK is currently living beyond its means both at a national and (on average) at a personal level.

I spend over £200 a month on mine and she doesn’t even need a groomer or dog walker! It is madness.

I remember a post on here years ago where someone was complaining that an old Audi they'd recently bought had broken down shortly after. I pointed out that instead of spunking money on an older luxury brand, they could have bought something newer but prosaic, like a Ford. She was completely confused at Audi being a premium brand.

People have been absolutely brainwashed.

It sounds like you might have rich friends now?

Our spending choices affect people in places like Nepal.

YANBU, I think it has a lot to do with social media and the expectations it creates though.

I know this isn’t the angle of this post, but this does remind me of the claims older generations make about younger generations being frivolous now (expensive coffees, avocado toast, Netflix, and high end leased cars).

I’m not sure why people are so confused by this. We have a capitalist society. It functions by creating things we don’t need and persuading people to spend money on them. It’s more intensely like that than is was in the 1950s. There’s more stuff to spend money on now. Advertising etc exists to persuade people they need it. It works. It keeps going.

What I find interesting is the number of people who are confused about this set up. It’s not a secret that people’s desires for fancy cars, Nike trainers, posh burgers, sparkly nails, matcha lattes and seasonal home decor are created by companies who want your money.

The young people today buying this stuff aren’t any better or worse than the older generations who didn’t spend their money on this stuff cos it wasn’t available.

That said, we don’t own a car, or buy half the stuff I’ve just listed cos we realise it’s a load of crap. But you can’t really blame people who’ve fallen for it all when the economy relies on it.

Remember “eat out to help out”? Industries and jobs would fail if people didn’t spend their money on the tat they do today. It’s a tragedy, yes, but I don’t understand why it comes as a shock to people.

DS has been overseas twice this year and his GF has been overseas three times. They are going again in October. I mean they can afford it but it seems a lot plus they popped to the little cute cafe that has opened up round the corner to just try it, I just stick the kettle on.

One day, capitalism will implode. That's what my Dad used to say.

Blame cheap credit, very few people pay for stuff up front any more.

Exactly this. The older generations feel superior for not spending money on these things 40 years ago… because they didn’t exist. If they had existed, they’d have spent their money on them too. Because that’s how our society is designed to function.