Taken for granted

[Feduptryingusernames]

Husband never asks how I am..

Been married 40 years, I work, cook from scratch 6 days out of 7, clean, look after all admin and finances. I'm rarely ill but once in a while if I comment I have a tummy ache or feel out of sorts my husband just looks at me and doesn't comment. Never ever asks how I feel.

He's had a few health problems but thinks its fine if he goes on and on about them. He's always worked and is very kind and generous with money.

My mum commented on this many years ago but I brushed it off. However, it's really irking me lately. I suspect he's neurodivergent as when his opinion is challenged, he raises his voice and tries to trash my comments.

Why after all these years is this a massive red flag to me now.

Is appreciate your thoughts.

I suspect he's neurodivergent as when his opinion is challenged, he raises his voice and tries to trash my comments.

Or he could just be a bit of a tosser who has just got used to everything being done and totally takes you for granted.

Why would he ask you how you are when you’re his free housekeeper and income provider?

Stop cooking for him, doing his clothes washing, washing his dishes or cleaning up after him.

Have you said this to him?
Mine was a bit like this until I just said , you never ask me how Iam? He must have gone away and through about it because now every morning he asks how I’m feeling how did I sleep etc 😂

Yes, I suspect he’s actually an arsehole, regardless of any neurodivergence.

My DH probably is ND. He asks a couple of times a day how I am or what I think about something etc

How would you like your life, your relationship, to look? Would you like to live alone, or would you prefer your husband to see the error of his ways?

Why do so many people equate being neurodivergent with being uncaring? My son has profound autism, he is acutely tuned to my moods and shows concern when I am upset. It's not true that neurodivergent people have no empathy.

OP, my first thought on reading your post was why have you put up with this for 40 years? If you make yourself into a doormat, people will walk all over you. We teach people how to treat us. Start teaching him how to treat you, or leave.

Thank you for all comments which has validated what I think of him. Planning now....