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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say this is the last 'holiday' with in-laws?

15 replies

Nant90 · Today 19:48

I'm so fed up but not sure whether I'm being unfair as it has been a 'cheap' holiday.

Dh and I had decided not to go away this year as we are trying to save to move house. Then pil said they had the opportunity to stay in their friend's villa in southern Europe for free and said they would cover our flights to get here and therefore we just needed spending money so here we are! But I hate it. We're in a remote place and dh or I are expected to do all the mountain road driving. Sil is also here and she has mobility issues and we are helping with this too - I suspect this is why we are here - to enable pil to have a holiday with sil that is manageable. By the way, we have 2 young children too (7 and 5) but they don't count it seems.

There is one small pool area where we are and nothing for the dc. In the house we are staying I am constantly reminded it is pil's friend's place and I need to respect it and clean up after the dc, which I do anyway and they're not that messy, and, yes, dh does it too, but I feel I'm being watched all the time. It's super-hot and we can't even go for a walk due to the heat and the fact we are in a small mountainous village with nowhere really to go,(though it is beautiful to look at, but that's no good with dc).

Although 'free' we had to arrange last minute care for our dog and I have work to do for my return last week (teacher) which I can do here in theory but in reality is hard as the dc have limited activities and therefore need entertaining. This was swept aside by mil as a concern when I raised it before coming - she rang me on my mobile, which is rare, to say I deserved a treat and she was insisting I come (I had suggested just dh going) and I think it was just to stop her feeling guilty about needing dh to help with sil, but I wish she had just said that and it would have been fine!

Last straw is we have just had dinner at the appartement and there were two small potatoes left in the bowl. I asked if anyone wanted them and no one replied. I took them and started breaking them up on my plate, when sil said loudly, 'look, Nant has kindly cut up the potatoes for us,' and took some off my plate. I felt like I had been berated for being greedy even though I asked before taking them and I'm just done. I don't want to be here and I'm here to support here and then being treated like a child.

AIBU in telling dh we are NEVER doing this shit again?

OP posts:
AplineDaisies · Today 19:51

Yanbu of course
Don't do it again

Lsquiggles · Today 19:51

They all sound horrible and manipulative, in your shoes I probably would've tried to go home already.

Onlyontuesday · Today 19:55

YANBU, even if it's free it is still a week of leave. It would be infinitely better if that want is to support SIL to go on holiday to just say this.

SIL's potato comment was really odd.

TFImBackIn · Today 19:56

It's a brave person who takes a potato off me!

I'd try to go home early - I doubt your kids are enjoying it much.

Wiglio · Today 19:57

It may be a ‘free’ holiday but your time is valuable. I hope this is a one off for you and you have a good house move soon.
entertaining your dc and hope your dh steps up so you can get your work done.

DozyCrow · Today 19:57

Sounds awful OP. When do you go home?

OffWith · Today 19:59

I started a thread today where I came to the same conclusion op.

Despite having done it before, where it went well, after this hellish week NEVER again.

Sparkletastic · Today 20:06

Can you go home early? At the very least start sticking up for yourself and biting back.

Bluenotgreen · Today 20:07

Strategic flu…

SockPlant · Today 20:10

god match their rudeness and when you get back be very clear that it is never ever going to happen again.

Imightbeinthewronghere · Today 20:11

Why did you agree to go in the first place?

JaninefromEastenders · Today 20:12

No such thing as a free holiday , unless you're about to book your favourite trip and someone insists on paying for it, then never mentions or thinks about the matter again.

B9waiting · Today 20:14

Agreed @JaninefromEastenders!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · Today 20:14

Never again!

AbzMoz · Today 20:17

Ouch. Just get through the holidays as best you can and when you get to the airport have a large g&t for you and DH. When you’re back into normality definitely say you didn’t have a good time and won’t be repeating it ever. Mentioning it whilst still on the holiday won’t help anyone as unless you want to go home it’s hardly fixable.

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