If there is a new mum in your life, please don’t send her unsolicited “helpful advice”. By all means, if she asks for help, give it; if she asks for advice, get stuck in and fill your boots. Offer help.
But if she’s getting on and doing her best, unsolicited advice can feel like overstepping. Sending an article, an Instagram reel or a list of things she could be doing differently isn’t really that different from being the person who says the baby looks cold or asks why they can’t have a kiss.
And honestly, at 7am, after being up all night, opening a message with some Instagram woman explaining the thing that “saved her sanity” is not what anyone needs.
It’s not that the advice is necessarily bad. It’s that nobody asked for it.
And I don’t care if you’re her best mate, her mum, her mother-in-law, or an aunt or uncle who desperately wants the best for their niece or new nephew. The best thing you can do is make Mum feel supported, not undermined, by sending advice out of the blue.
There’s a difference between being there for someone and constantly offering your opinion on how they could be doing things differently.
If she asks, help. If she says she’s struggling, offer something practical. But if she’s getting on with it, trust her to ask when she wants your input.
Sometimes supporting a new mum means knowing when not to offer advice.