AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

You've outgrown your childhood bedroom a few months earlier than you thought. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

This

Why doesn’t he drop you one weekend and collect you the next? Then you get a week with your family as planned and he doesn’t have to sleep there at all. Will both your sisters be there both weekends and during the week? They don’t live there, do they? Maybe there will be a free bedroom the weekend he collects you for him to spend a night it?

I only popped on here to join a weight-loss support board yesterday, I never use mumsnet otherwise, and I see why. Some people are angry, bat💩 bananas, permanently online, permanently outraged. OP, as I suggested, let hubby take the sofa and disregard any of the mean spiritedness on here. Enjoy your visit and I hope you're feeling better over the rest of your pregnancy. Side note, highly recommended hypnobirthing lessons/course if that is something you've not looked at yet. Learning about the physiology and autonomy of birth made my births the best experiences of my life and that was with medical conditions with my pregnancies.

Edited to add: the weight loss boards have been lovely, not slating everyone on mumsnet!

I don't think it's quite that, lots of us have lived or currently live in houses with very small rooms. It is unusual I would think for a 4 bed house to have 1 double room and 3 rooms that don't more than a single bed, with no space for anyone to fit on the floor. You've mentioned your parents extended to build an extra room (and also I think that they could 'give up a bathroom' to extend a bedroom?) which suggests the layout might be unusual with 3 long thin bedrooms, 1 double room and a bathroom which could be used to extend a bedroom (and presumably another bathroom elsewhere if you could give up the upstairs one for a bedroom?) I don't think most people are being naive or judgemental, if you had started by saying 'my parents house is an unusual room set up with 3 long thin single rooms that have a single bed and no floor space' people wouldn't have made suggestions about sleeping on the floor, which in a lot of houses, even small ones, would be possible in at least one of the single rooms, with moving out other furniture.

Your husband should sleep in your room on a mattress on the floor. It's a sacrifice to sleep on the sofa and no privacy and discomfort would apply to your sisters too

Tbh I’m not sure I know a single man in my family or circle of friends who would let a woman take the sofa so he could have a bed. Are you sure your husband would even want you to be having this argument on his behalf? Surely he’ll be mortified when he finds out?

Summary of options and comment on them

1. Get a hotel (too expensive)
2. don't all come at the same time (probably long term solution)
3. Airbed on floor (not enough space in any of the bedrooms)
4. Duvets/pillows on floor for a makeshift bed (still not enough space in any bedrooms?)
5. Tent in garden
6. Ask a neighbour/friend to put one person up (surely you must know someone locally if this was your childhood home?)
7. DH sleeps on the sofa (or airbed on lounge floor) and you agree ground rules such as when everyone else goes to bed and when they get up in the morning so DH can scuttle into OP's bedroom if he feels embarrassed)
8. one of the sisters sleeps on the sofa (OP's preferred solution, although I can see from sister's perspective this means everyone bending over backwards for OP)
9. DH doesn't come (don't think that's had a comment)

As a side note, please can you start another thread about storage solutions in a family with 3 children and absolutely no space? i suspect you must have some great ideas to share.

Better make the best of it now, as they certainly won't be able to accommodate you, your husband and twins.

Also I would have been VERY envious of anyone with a room of their own, even a Harry Potter style cupboard growing up, I don't think it sounds a particularly poor tiny house!

I think you should check whether your DH would actually care about privacy. If he doesn't there's no issue. If he does could you rig up a screen? Otherwise you'll have to accept your mum's offer if thd double bed.

So your only 2 options are to accept that your DH will have to sleep on the sofa or you go another weekend. It really doesn’t need to be this difficult.

i planned to visit as its a bank holiday weekend so there’s more time, I wanted to go by myself for a week but I can’t drive due to fainting related to my pregnancy so hubby is coming too as he can drive!
as people need every little detail apparently, there is also a close family member who is unwell in hospital so I’m waiting to see them. So the trip is essential and it’s essential that both my husband and i go…

I didn’t realise how much detail I’d have to give, I honestly thought this was a boring post and wouldn’t get much interaction, but you mums are very invested 😂

im aware that in the future I won’t be able to stay at my parents, that really isn’t what this post was about x

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If it's that essential, accept it's the sofa for DH or a hotel.

And you can afford a hotel, you're just choosing not to.

Mattress on the floor in your room for your husband or you and husband book a hotel?
While it would be nicer for you if one of your sisters gave up their bed so your husband had privacy, its not their responsibility. It's up to the two if you to consider whether the arrangements work for your circumstances, and if they don't, make other ones for yourselves.

Agree that husband can sleep on the sofa. Seems like the obvious solution to me given that sisters have their own bedrooms, and it is your husband who is really the "extra". Not sure why he has more need for privacy.

Or bring something for him to sleep on in your room. Unreasonable to kick your sisters out.

Really good suggestion!

Sleeping bag on the floor next to you. I appreciate there isn’t enough room for an airbed but surely he can squeeze himself in on the floor.

Honestly, you are the one sounding very upset about your sisters behaviour.

People are just pointing out the unreasonableness of your reasoning.
You are being difficult.

The obvious option is for your DH to sleep on the Sofa. He goes up to bed when he wants to check out from the late night family chats, moves to the sofa when you all retire for the night and heads back to your room when the house wakes. Plenty of privacy for him.

It really isn't that big of a deal. You really need to stop babying him. You are about to have a baby, he has bigger sacrifices to make heading his way.

Oh yeah I’m not bothered about people suggesting sleeping on the floor, I understand why they’d suggest that. What im getting at is that people think I’m lying when I say there isn’t space in any of the single bedrooms, why would I lie about that and why wouldn’t you just believe me, the rooms are long and narrow and the one that has more space has a big old wardrobe in it that cannot be moved for one weekend.

This is your introduction to parenting OP. Things change and you cant always have what you want. Just the way it goes.
So pick the least worst solution that doesn't upset your family and get on with it.

In a box room? They're rarely large enough to fit anything more than a single bed.

well it’s a 5 hour drive so it would be a 10 hour round trip for him, if they were closer then yes absolutely