AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

He would absolutely sleep on the sofa, I’m not saying that, he’s a good man, I’ve made him out to be a terrible husband without meaning to!

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is.

Hotel or B&B. No point in anyone suffering.

Well yes, but then OP misses out on creating a shit load of drama and attention.

As others have said, buy a cheap airbed for your husband. I can see why your sisters don’t want to give up their beds (I’d still see it as ‘my’ bed in my parents’ home), and I’m not sure why your husband needs privacy when he and everyone else will be asleep. It does seem this goes deeper than the sleeping arrangements issue. Are you compensating for your husband potentially being narky about sleeping on the sofa? Do you feel that your sisters aren’t recognising your pregnancy? Do you feel they are selfish generally? Only you know what lies beneath, but on this occasion I’d suck it up tbh.

edit: sorry just seen that the rooms are too small for an airbed. Honestly if your husband would gladly offer to sleep on the sofa, as you say, then he should just just do it. He can start off in your room and make his way to the sofa later on. Or he could stay at home, if he finds family events overwhelming anyway.

You will also need to consider how things will work when you have a baby to bring too.

buy a proper mattress and stick it on the floor in the lounge so you don’t have to sleep on the sofa. Prob plenty around on marketplace. If you’re pregnant a blow up won’t work. DH has your room and you have a proper mattress on the floor in the lounge.

Your DH has to sleep on the sofa. That's where there is room. No, it's not perfect but often family having these kinds of visits don't have ideal situations or privacy. You just get on with it and deal with it. Or get a hotel.

If it’s that much an issue just don’t go. Personally I don’t see the issue with husband sleeping on sofa

How about a using a yoga mat to lie down on? They are usually smaller so it could fit in the space next to a single bed. Not the most comfortable, obviously, but it means that he can sleep in your room still.

Maybe remind your sisters of this!

But you want one of them to sleep on the sofa so your husband doesn’t have to and they don’t want to.

What about the other options-

He stays at home.
You invite everyone to yours.
You go and stay there at a different time to your sisters.

If you can't afford a hotel for one night (and a b&b or guest house may be cheaper) how on earth are you going to afford twins?

If you really can't afford it, then don't go. You and husband go on another weekend when the house isn't so full.

This is clearly going to be a thread that just goes round in circles, however.

So when you visit with children how will you and the twins fit in any of the single rooms if they can’t even fit a single mattress on the floor?
It sounds like this trip is the least of your worries.
You need to come up with a new solution for visiting going forward surely?

Then you’ll have to sleep on the sofa. Or swap with him when everyone has gone to bed. Personally I’d be pretty pissed off if my sibling expected me to give up my room for a fully functioning adult.

No actually, he’s coming because I’m unable to drive due to being unwell in my pregnancy, I actually wanted to spend a week at my parents but have been unable to drive so he’s offered to take me and spend some time with them.
I’m not looking for attention, I’ve actually not made a fuss out of this with my family, I asked the question and was told no. That’s all the drama there is.
But thank you for your input

Maybe her mother will do like mine and just ban them from staying due to space.

Stay in a hotel or dont visit all at once. You're obviously going to need a different solution once babies are born, and when you sisters partner up too. Don't create drama over a very temporary solution to a long term issue.

DH on the sofa - might not be the greatest situation but it really won't hurt for a night or two.

So find a middle ground. Instead of a week, go for a weekend. DH sleeps on the sofa in the less private and perfect circumstances that happen when you visit family sometimes. Sometimes you just make it work. Or accept your visiting for the night days are over if you can't get a hotel.

i know this, which is why I wanted to visit now so I can get some time in with everyone, I’m very aware I won’t be able to visit the family home in the same way once the twins are here. I’m aware I can’t spend Christmases etc there in the future. I’m accepting that it’s not an option for us…

Actually, bollocks, @strawberrylemons. You can afford a hotel. Your husband got an inheritance and you're using that to do up an old house. Don't tell me there isn't £200 for two nights for a cheap hotel.

Unless you've discovered that your husband has indeed poured all of that inheritance to prop up his company which isn't doing well, in which case where he sleeps this weekend really is the least of your worries.

you sleep on the sofa or air mattress in living room? Don’t make your issue everyone else’s issue.

He’s your husband for crying out loud! He’s hardly a guest. He’s a part of your family.

In this situation my husband would just sleep on the sofa - he might not LOVE his mother in law walking through but it is really not a big deal and he’s a grown man ffs.

or, tbh, if he really felt uncomfortable being in the living room, he’d just sleep on the floor in my room.

there HAS to be room on the floor alongside your bed for an adult to lie on the floor surely? Stick a roll mat down and some cushions, job done. Again, we are talking about a grown adult able bodied man, yes?

Any reason you cant sleep on the sofa or on an inflatable mattress in the living room, with cushions etc for comfort?. I often sleep on the sofa or floor when i have pain.

I think you are setting yourself up for future dramas here by asking your sisters to move. We have no family where we live. When visiting my dad who lived in a small flat, we either stayed with friends or hotels. At Christmas when we visit the inlaws who have recently downsized, our kids (late teens) stay with inlaws and me and husband stays with his sister. There just isn't room for everyone in the same house.

I have read through the thread but you don't seem to have answered what the trip is for, is it essential for your husband to come? What will happen when your sister have husbands/partners and all want to stay

I can absolutely afford to have my children. I’m not completely stupid and reckless, I don’t want to spend money on a hotel when I don’t need to, all my money is going towards my mat leave, so right now I can’t afford it.
I could just not visit my parents of course, but there’s other reasons I’m visiting them, I’m choosing to not share that here.

yes of course this is going to go round, I didn’t expect such a big response to something so minor, people have really got themselves upset about this, I think other people are more upset than I am at this point 😂