AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Then just let him stay home

There's no way I'd sleep on a sofa while my brother-in-law enjoyed my bed.

again though - he is sleeping not doing anything majorly private

Take a blow up bed.

He can sleep on the sofa or an air mattress. That you shoot down every suggestion that doesn't involve your sisters putting themselves out makes you an unreasonable askhole.

You DH should be on the sofa - I don’t get why not? He’s family too and so what if he gets disturbed - so would anyone that’s on the sofa. Alternatively get an air mattress for the floor in your room. They are cheap.

In need? No she's not. She's just pregnant. Her husband can use the sofa, they can book a nearby hotel or can use an air bed. She's not in need.

I've been the sister and I gave up my bed. Resented it though as society always seems to idolise the pregnant or prioritise those with kids. There will be more to this than a simple request.

it really is! I’m amazed by how many people think I’m lying about the size of the bedrooms, they can’t believe someone would live in such a poor tiny house 😂 I always thought because we had 4 bedrooms that we were posh but apparently not compared to people here haha
really makes you feel good about yourself when people question why you can’t simply have a bigger room or just stay in a hotel

Or get a good blow up bed and you sleep in the living room

Hubby can stay at home, sleep on the sofa or you can stay at a hotel.

You seem to think other people need to make way for you both - they don't.

Your sisters have said no so your options are to have your DH sleep on the sofa (I honestly can't see what is wrong with this), not go, or book a Travelodge or something.

I think this is a lot of fuss over nothing tbh. Perhaps it would be better to visit your parents when everyone isn't there and more beds on offer? Or if it's for a celebration and there for one night, just muck in and enjoy the celebration and accept someone has to sleep on the sofa. It's not the end of the world.

Yes, would've been nice for a sister to offer but that's life. In your annoyance, don't forget the bigger picture, that's spending time with family.

Why can’t the poor lamb retreat to your room when it all gets too much? But at 11 /12 when you all head to bed, he sleeps on the sofa. As soon as your Mum comes down to do the dogs in the morning he can either….

A) Say good morning to your Mum, make you a cup of tea and offer one to your Mum (like a normal bloke)

or

B) If he is that overwhelmed, could he run up the stairs as soon as he hears movement upstairs and hide in your bedroom with his pregnant wife so he doesn’t have to speak to his mother in law?

No offence but you’re making this far too complicated - you can’t afford a hotel, there’s no space for an airbed, I completely get all that, I believe you. But if he’s a good man, the gentlemanly thing to do would be for him to take the sofa and let all the sisters have a bed.

it was a 3 bed house, then a wall was put up to make 4 bedrooms, making 3 of the bedrooms very small…
its really not that hard to believe, why would I lie?

Don't all go at the same time is going to be the future especially when you have twins..
I get the tiny room thing and the dh privacy thing but if they are all tiny singles then this isn't workable..
So you do this visit alone .... If yiu must go at this time..or you and dh go at a different time from your sisters..

when my auntie stayed at my parents house, I slept on the sofa

Well, of course, because she's a guest and an older adult.

Your husband isn't a guest, he's your husband. Actual family. About to be father of the grandchildren.

He can sleep on a sofa, or you can take an airbed and he can sleep on that in the living room. You shouldn't expect your sisters to be ousted.

If there’s no solution and you can’t afford a hotel I would say your dh doesn’t go.

I get that but surely he can nest on the floor in the room then?

As most small singles still have that walking space.

If your husband would be Okay with not going and you'd be Okay to get there without him, surely that is the best solution to this.

He is an adult and he will cope. I frequently sleep on my friends' sofa when I visit them. They are up and down in the morning tip toeing around me. Am I loving it? Not really. But I am absolutely fine with it and am not going to turf one of them out of their own bed to accommodate me. I am sure if you actually speak to your husband, he will feel exactly the same way.
If he doesn't, then book a hotel for the night.

I didn’t say I think you are lying, I said people were making suggestions because it’s an unusual set up, it doesn’t mean everyone thinks all houses are huge and we have toddlers in huge king size beds like the poster was suggesting.

You’ve said no to every suggestion as they don’t work for you, and are moaning about people even making the suggestions… but we can’t make your sisters give up their rooms so I’m not sure what else you want. Let DH stay home as you say he doesn’t enjoy these events anyway

My dh is a private man and prob wouldn’t want to sleep on a sofa in a semi- communal area in my parents home.
So he would either put up with it or not come. The fact he said he’ll sleep on the sofa means you’re making this a big deal.

You are not being unreasonable about sleeping together in a single bed but you are being unreasonable saying he can’t sleep on the sofa. Can you take an inflatable mattress with you to go on your bedroom floor?

Agree and you can get some unbelievably slim inflatable mattresses or just buy a couple of cheap ones from Argos and trim them down to fit. For less than £20 he'll have a reasonably comfy bed.

It’s not hard to believe, it’s just an unusual setup. Information that would have been pretty critical in your OP.

You won’t be able to stay there altogether when your twins arrive, so change your plans now. Go at a different time to your sisters, leave your husband at home, or invite everyone to yours.