AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Would your mum and dad rather you slept on sofa / in living room, or your partner?

Personally if I were your mum I'd be telling one of the sisters they need to sleep on sofa.

I think that could work! We used to have a van a while ago but it’s gone now, would’ve been so handy, never mind 😂
i think people think I’m lying to just be difficult, I am difficult yes, but I’m not lying about the size of the rooms lol x

OP you sound nice and are being very patient. You are not being entitled, precious or selfish. Yes your sister should give up her bed this one time for her pregnant sister who is currently struggling with fainting spells. Good Lord.

How are they anymore selfish than Ops husband he can sleep on a couch why do the sisters have to give up there beds?

Because she enjoys the drama!

Yes exactly that, as I’ve already said, I was annoyed, I ranted, then I got over it pretty quickly, now I’m just here enjoying the drama…

Well yes ideally one of your sisters would give up their room but I can see that this could be a way this is perceived by them as you and your husband being entitled and getting a single room each when one of them would need to sleep in the living room where they cannot go to bed when they want and may get woken at the crack of dawn by your mum letting the dogs out. You say you would do it but from the sound of it you have not except on holiday when everyone is in a new space not in a family home where they all have their safe familiar spaces. Personally if I was heavily pregnant and wanted to vist at the same time as them I would pay for a hotel or go on a different weekend when there would be plenty of space. I sincerely hope it is not one of your parents who is unwell and is offering to give up their bed. Also I wonder if you are overthinking your husbands reaction. He may be fine with sleeping on the sofa.

Thanks! I’m not at all worried about husbands reaction, it’s my issue with wanting to make sure guests are happy and comfortable. It’s nothing to do with him, he’d be mortified if he saw this thread, he’s been made out to be a right selfish so and so which he isn’t 😂

I know these are issues I’ve created myself, I just initially wanted to rant and it’s got out of hand!

Just because you feel it's not right doesn't mean it's not right. If anyone has to give up their bed for you it's him. He is family now. He's not a guest.

All of you are being ridiculous then, and causing this to be an issue.

I hope all goes well together anyway, OP. It sounds like it might be an emotionally tough weekend with the ill relative so do make sure you get enough rest and waited on a bit.

And give us an update on what happens too, please. Everyone is invested!

Why, so that Lord Muck can stretch out nicely in the poor sister's bed?

This.

Such drama. He can sleep on the sofa, or you can get a hotel room.

Well they are blood relatives and all women. If I was OP's H staying in a house with my in-laws I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in a public room with all her sisters, and her parents , coming in and out. If that's the house they grew up in they will be much more at ease in a situation like that than OP's H.

"I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. "

"Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy."

You are being unreasonable.

You are not "expecting someone to give up a bed for me", for starters, and it's disingenuous to pretend that. You are expecting one of your sisters to give up their bed for your husband, because you consider him incapable of sleeping on the sofa.

"he’s a guest in that house so I don’t feel it’s right for him not to have the privacy, he’s not refused, he doesn’t even know the situation. I want him to feel comfortable in the family home that’s all"
He is also a husband to one of the daughters of that house and therefore family.

"I think my frustration stems from the fact that id give up my bed for my sisters without hesitation! "
Since you're not being asked to do so, we'll never know if you would.

"He hasnt refused, not at all, I’ve made that decision for him. I refuse to let a guest, in the family home, sleep on the sofa."
Is it really your place to make this decision for him? Is he not a functional adult?

"yes to some people this seems like I’m being difficult but making guests feel welcome is so important to me, I won’t argue it anymore."
I am obviously one of the 'some people' - I think you're being difficult for a spurious reason.

"i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. "
At last! Yes, this is YOUR issue. And you don't get to make it your sisters' or your parents issue.

Just sleep on the damned sofa, Derek!

I would get an inflatable camping mattress for your husband not an air bed! They are generally only 50-60cm wide and can be really comfortable for under £30 and they fold down tiny (we have some that only weigh 500 grams). Your parents should probably have a couple of these because they are versatile. You can easily just rest it against something or roll it up in the morning. My husband doesn't even fit on our sofa lying down because he's so tall so we'd have to find an alternative.

We had a bit of a family argument one Christmas when one of my sisters refused to sleep in a single bed when she was the only ones who partners wasn’t their that Christmas. None of us have lived at home for years but the single bed was not in her old bedroom. In the end we just put a double air bed up in the lounge.

That was Christmas so we had to go but it did put a bit of a bad vibe on the day, so maybe just go and see your parents at another time.

I think DH on the sofa is best, what is he going to be doing thay he needs such privacy

Why did your parents not buy bunk beds before seeing as presumably you've been married a while...

If your nan lives nearby can she not fit an air mattress, you've left this too late when it was going to obviously be a problem.

I know it’s my own issue, I don’t think it’s that ridiculous, it’s just how I feel about treating people who are a guest, I think that’s okay, it’s just different to other people’s view. I’m really not that upset about all of this, I’m aware I’ve created barriers and I’ll take ownership of that. It seems like a bigger deal than it is because people keep commenting so it’s made out to be more of a problem 😂
I was just upset my sister said no, had my whinge about it and got over it

I’m not confused by you calling it a house…houses come in all shapes and sizes.

A tent in the garden. If your sisters are all arguing he can easily move it a few miles down the road and enjoy some peace!

Why are you calling your husband a guest? Isn't he family?!

Thanks! I was actually talking to my mum about this and she wants to get some camping beds. The house was a great set up for 3 sisters growing up but not ideal for adults coming to visit 😂

I think once babies are here we won’t be staying there, one of those things we’ll figure out I guess

utterly insane. husband on the sofa for one night. doubt he'll give an S.

This. If I put myself in OP’s DH’s shoes…of my DH took me to my MIL’s house, where he and all of his siblings slept in bedrooms, and I was told to sleep on the sofa under the guise of either being a spare part who wasn’t technically invited, or “you’re family too now, so you can muck in and deal with it—you’re not a guest after all,” I would be very uncomfortable.