AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

The DH wasn’t ‘invited’ though

With a 9 year age gap between oldest and youngest you must have all been in the house together for a time, where were all your clothes stored?

She knows that's how you meant it don't worry.

🤣🤣🤣

Air mattress for you in the front room and every one wins really?

Curious what is wrong with the sofa though, is it a small sofa?

I have a very tiny house too so i don't doubt for one second there isn't enough room in the bedrooms by the way. My 3 bed house only has 1 room big enough for a double. The smaller 2 barely fit a single bed, and they have no furniture (wardobes/drawers) in. We all share the big room for clothes!

At least 2 of the dogs are his though.

But this one is big enough for 2 dogs?

It’s the only solution I can see!

This OPs style of wilful misinterpretation and reframing is hilarious, but I would be NC if she was my sister. Sis not wanting to give your darling husband her bed is reframed as "making 20 week pregnant sister sleep on sofa". Posters challenging the inconsistencies in her story is reframed as "mocking her small house and impoverished family".

If you genuinely can’t afford a cheap hotel for a night or two then you need to take a serious look at your finances before the twins arrive.

Did the extra bedroom come from splitting a double into two singles? I grew up in a small house, spent pretty much every Christmas sleeping on the sofa so family could stay so I do get it. But it’s really unusual to have a house with 1 double and 3 single bedrooms.

Hmm? The house ? I have a dog in my tiny house, not sure I could fit 2 though!

No, the single bedroom. Apparently there will be 2 dogs in it with hubby, but no room for a sleeping roll

Really? My grandmother lives a long way away, we visited recently. This is only the second time my husband has met her. He absolutely got up to deal with her dogs (and other animals!) whilst he was there - not to solve a logistical problem like OP’s, but just for no other reason than why would he not help her whilst he was there?

That’s the way most men I know are. I don’t think my husband is uniquely helpful or kind.

I don’t understand what’s so intimate about letting some dogs out that it requires a close relationship, anyway.

I find it mind boggling that people are so often so standoffish with their own families, in laws or blood relatives.

My bad sorry, I think so many people have made comments about it now I just read it more negatively!

They’re 2 tiny dogs, between them they’re barely one dog

i think it’s my issue of wanting a guest (in this case my husband) to have a private room to sleep in. It’s just how it’s always been, whether it’s aunties or friends, doesn’t matter, I don’t feel comfortable having a guest in the living room, I want them to have their own space, and that’s how my parents feel too, they won’t have my hubby sleeping on the sofa while he’s a guest in their house.
I understand what other people are saying and I can see that I’m being difficult but it’s just how I feel so when people question it I’m just trying to explain that, not trying to argue against everyone’s suggestions for the sake of it, just explaining where my thinking is

Fine, but your parents and your thinking is quite batshit. The thing that would solve the situation is a sofa bed. None of this ridiculousness such as your parents having to move, but a top class sofa bed. Then you, at 19weeks pregnant with twins, you could happily use it. I have slept on a few sofa beds that were much better than standard beds, you just have to throw a few $$$ at it, which arguably is cheaper than moving to a larger house. So, if you and your parents want to treat your DH like a princess, get the sofa bed to facilitate this.

As for everyone staying up late, and he likes to go to bed early tough luck for a week, he can tough that out surely. I’d be embarrassed if that was my husband.

Also, if the single room is big enough for a single bed and a walkway beside it, it probably is big enough for a double bed (with no walkway) TBH.

But also I do think you’re minimising how this might be really upsetting for your sisters if they are there to see a very unwell
relative- maybe they are more upset than you think and can’t face not having a bit of personal space for the weekend? Because it’s not just the nights, they also don’t have a place to retreat to (for a bit of space, maybe even a bit of a cry) in the day either if your DH is in the room.

Our finances are just fine, the reason I have no money is because we have twins on the way. We’re having lots of work done on our house in preparation for their arrival plus the fact I’m having to put every penny aside for mat leave, I have no money to spare on hotels when there’s a perfectly good house I can stay in.

So it’s a bungalow, 3 of the bedrooms are lined up together along the front of the house, making them narrow, the other one is a funny shape because of the way the wall was knocked through, I was young when the work was done I can’t remember but it’s a bungalow that was intended to have 3 bedrooms and they made it 4.

Do you really want to go and spend the weekend with these selfish sisters of yours? Can't believe they would happily let you sleep on a sofa given you are pregnant with twins.

Can't you and your H visit when they won't be there?

Yes potentially if there wasn’t a wardrobe in there one of those small doubles but that’s something my parents are going to do in the future, we’ve all managed as it is for many years, it’s just less doable as I’ve started to grow suddenly 😂
yeah absolutely I get that about my sisters, I don’t think I thought too much of it which is my bad. Thanks

What about getting a bunk bed (to replace the single bed)? It’ll be handy for the grandkids in a few years’ time too.

Is a car converter possible like this one? If there is a drive he could park the car on it? You could have it delivered to your parents, chuck pillows and duvet in the car and he can disappear when he's had enough familiying!
I had a tiny bedroom growing up OP - can't believe a lot of people don't get that. We had no spare room so I could never have friends for a sleepover.

I see how it’s confusing when I keep calling it a house, I think because I live in a house it’s just a habit 😂

OP, I think your family’s view on son in laws is a bit odd, and likely to keep them distant, but I’m not going to change that from the internet.

You and mum and sisters can start saving for bunk beds in at least 2 of your old rooms plus sofa bed in the living room. You can visit with the babies if you are on the sofa bed and the babies are in safe sleep spaces in the living room too. That’s what my family has done on holidays. So your family can keep having everyone together if they don’t mind squishing in. I suppose if multiple sisters have kids too young for beds, then the brothers in law can stack up on bunk beds while sisters and kids go in the living room.

It also seems like your family might be a bit stuck in terms of who gives up space? In most families I know, grandparents/senior relatives get the best sleeping spots, whether that is giving up a space or them not moving. Adult guests might come before adult children but a son in law wouldn’t be a guest for that! Maybe you’d give him the better chair to sit on. And kids get kicked out of rooms and chairs willy nilly. Babies get better priorities than kids and young adults. In my family we’ve seen some issues as generations change- no mum you’re over 60 don’t give up your chair/the best bedroom. And nieces hanging onto baby status a bit too long kicking me (auntie) into sleeping on the floor etc.

Usually you try to keep married couples together but when you can’t, the 19 weeks pregnant one gets the best spot. So especially with a last visit to a loved one I can clearly see why your sisters won’t budge for your DH.

I think you sound entitled...