AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Can't the bunk beds solution be used even this time? Parents/the sister living the closest looking at the market place/other local sources for second hand/something like basic ikea and putting one up?

Also if the DH couldn’t sleep in the lounge because he would be disturbed by someone letting the dogs out, but several of the dogs are his why wouldn’t he just be letting them out? 😂

That’s the plan for the future but I’m going up there today so it’s not possible!

Good point! He’s merely the driver. Could he sleep in said vehicle? So his in-laws don’t have to see his dingly danglies and he gets his privacy.

Then OP can have the bed and the dogs can have the sofa.

Of course it is. If you wanted to find a solution that is. Marketplace.

For the future that will definitely be happening but isn’t possibly for this weekend but it’s okay, we’ve sorted it

Absolutely this.

The family are going through a difficult time by the sounds of it. I think the OP is being quite selfish making it all about her DH's 'comfort'.

OP has a bed

she is choosing to make a massive martyr of herself and sleep on the sofa because her sisters wont give up their beds so that her husband doesn't have to sleep on the sofa - which he obviously absolutely could but for some reason OP refuses to accept he can

Practicing your sad face in the car for 5 hours so you can pull it out when you start ostentatiously wrapping a sheet on the sofa while glaring at the one sister you want to target isn’t sorting it to be fair.

Maybe the sisters are pregnant, maybe it’s early days and they don’t want to say?

We know for damn sure OP’s hubby isn’t though and yet he’s forbidden from the sofa because he’s a guest. Bizarre.

Couldn’t you put a double air mattress in the open plan living room/kitchen area? That way you can sleep there comfortably without being confined to a sofa when pregnant but nobody who isn’t comfortable in the family home has to sleep in the communal area?

Or is it not big enough? 😜

if you want to call me difficult and entitled etc that’s fine, I can take that. But there is no need to be so insulting about the fact the bedrooms in the house are so small. Can’t you see how hurtful it is that people are being so unkind about the fact my family home is small? People can’t help not having as much money as others and have to live in smaller places. My parents did what they could to give me and my sisters a bedroom each and that meant having a small room each.
comments about the size of the room just come across snobbish

Good it is solved now.

I don't understand why the bunk bed solution wasn't implemented earlier instead of planning to use sister's room...

I'm just curious now, why DH on a sofa would be disturbed by other going out to sort the dogs - but others won't be disturb by DH going out to sort the other dogs.

I would definitely prioritise a pregnant sister and her husband! Yes, he is an in-law and part of the family, but unless he's very close and knows them all well, he shouldn't be getting up and letting the dogs out. Plus, he is likely to be taller and less able to sleep on a sofa bed-if your sisters are taller, ok that's different.

Just go and see your parents at a different time, and try to forget about your sisters' nasty attitude. Just because people are related by blood doesn't mean they're going to be decent to you (your parents should, because they chose to have you, but siblings often aren't close).

That's a good point. I'm imagining the Escher style room that can fit 2 dogs but not a single bed roll. Or maybe the 2 dogs are sharing the single bed with him? Where you open the door and launch yourself directly down onto the bed as there's no floor space.

It’s not about the bedrooms being “so small” it’s about you having a ridiculous excuse for every single suggestion, can’t possibly put a mat on the floor, can’t possibly have an empty wardrobe moved, can’t possibly have the bed your mum offered, can’t possibly get the train, can’t possibly go another weeks, couldn’t possibly have your dear husband sleep on a sofa.
You are being inflexible and making up excuses for every single option available to you, and it’s probably why your sister won’t give up her room.

There’s no need to be rude about the house not being big enough, have a dig at me all you want but being mean about people being less well off and living in a smaller house is just nasty.

but yes I think we’re going with a mattress in the living room, which is big enough thank you 🙄

In all honesty, the parents are at fault here. Don't invite more people to stay than you can accommodate. And if you're inviting someone on the assumption that they'll have unusual sleeping arrangements (sharing with someone who's not their partner, sleeping on the floor or a sofa) make that clear at the time of the invitation.

Visit another time when sisters are not there, find a cheap B&B or postpone the visit until you can afford a cheap B&B or air BNB. Honestly if you are expecting twins and finances are such that even a cheap basic BnB is unaffordable, you probably have more important things to worry about than visiting family.

You could lie the empty wardrobe down on the floor (with the doors upwards) and sleep in there like a coffin?

Will this problem even exist in the future? You mention buying bunk beds but surely you won't be staying at the same time as your sisters in the future, as surely a cot (or maybe even two) won't fit if you say the rooms are that small. So surely future visits may be you in one room, husband in another, babies in the third room?

Anyway to me your husband should go on the sofa. I am not sure why you keep saying he's a guest. Have you not been together that long? Surely he is family.

My other suggestion would have been to get the train so he didn't need to come. (Though I am guessing that would also be an issue with costs).
On that note if you know when you want to stay, places like premier inn are a lot cheaper when booked in advance so although you mention not wanting to pay for a hotel it might be worth considering. Or maybe having that as a birthday present.

If your 90 year old nan has offered that you can sleep at house in her bed and she will sleep in her recliner, presumably she lives in the same town as your parents. Is there any chance you could stay in your nan's house (but not make her sleep in her recliner)? You would surely just need to buy or borrow a blow up mattress to go on her living room floor.

It is understandable that your sisters would say no to be honest, she may not realise that you are intending to martyr yourself and insist on sleeping on the sofa yourself instead of asking your husband to.

My DH would have absolutely zero problem sleeping on the sofa in these circumstances, he can go and get his head down in your room, then when you are ready to go to bed he can swap, or he can stay up later for a few days. Or you just sleep on the sofa yourself and stop making a big deal of everything.

I still don't believe that you can't put a some folded up quilts on the floor next to the bed for him to sleep.. that is what I would be offering to do if I was him.. I'd be mortified that you were trying to pressure your sisters to give up a bed for me, while you insist that I 'need' one.. I think you should talk to him before you go any further as I would be annoyed at you for speaking on my behalf without even asking me.

I would imagine an in-law living a 5-hour car journey away isn’t at the “popping in and out of MIL’s house regularly to let out the dogs”-level familiarity.

I was being lighthearted about the amount of times you’ve had to repeat yourself, didn’t mean to be offensive about the size of your family home!