AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Your parents aren’t going to let you sleep on the sofa OP. You’re not going to let either of your parents sleep on the sofa, and none of you will let your DH sleep on the sofa. My prediction is that it will go round and round until eventually one of your sisters will cave.

He would prioritise me, as I’ve said, this is my issue with me wanting him to be comfortable as a guest in my parents house, I know pretty much everyone disagrees but I’m standing firm on that, I treat my brother in law the same and I treat my aunties and uncles that way when they stay.
I’m really not as upset about this and some people seem to think I am. I intend to keep the peace which is why I ranted here rather than arguing with my family.

I don’t understand why people are being so horrible. In those circumstances I’d give my bed up. Going forward it’ll be difficult to all visit at once with children of the future to host as well though.

Your husband is such a dolt that he would let you sleep on the sofa so he could have "privacy" while you play martyr to your sisters for them not giving their beds up to your husband. 🙄

Ew, ick.

People have heard of sleeping bags, right? The poor diddums doesn’t need an airbed.

I know. What a prince.

I thought it was your mum saying he cant be on the sofa?

I think she was hoping for a pile on about her sisters and doesn’t want any other solution than one of them gives up a bed

Yes both my parents and I have the same view

Why are you having the sofa? You said your mum (who’s the owner and host!) doesn’t want you in the sofa and has offered you her room, solving all the problems?

The poor bloke knows nothing about this conversation. As it stands, it exists purely on Mumsnet.

Mums love to hate men don't they?

I think as you’re pregnant you should prioritise yourself and the baby - don’t worry so much about “guests” especially as it’s your husband. Just tell him what time your family wakes up and get him to set an alarm so he’s up before then or he can choose to sleep through. Your husband will probably refuse to let you sleep on the sofa anyway, so I would save my energy from arguing and not give this any more headspace and just plan to put him on the sofa.

So you’re taking your own dogs too? Plural? LOL! Where are they sleeping? In one of the rooms that won’t fit an airbed?

If your DH genuinely lets his pregnant with twins wife sleep on the sofa while he has a proper bed I fear for your future. Is he unwell? Or just exceptionally delicate? Why can’t he sleep on a sofa? It’s getting weird now.

Just ask him!

Are you ok with the sofa when we go to my Mum and Dad’s? Emily and Jane both want their own rooms. I’ve suggested they swap and let you have a room but they weren’t keen.

If he is this kind man that you are making out, he’ll say ‘Yeah it’s only for two nights’. And the problem is solved.

“I’ll sleep on a bed of nails for you but I draw the line at a sofa” 😂

If you are taking your dogs too then my option of him staying on the sofa and getting up with all the dogs is a good one!

Also, when does your DH stop being a guest and start being family? You are there to see a relative in hospital, so I will assume its serious. We've been there too 💐 so surely its a case of muck in and get your head down wherever? It's what families do.

He isn't a fragile little thing, he can make up his own mind. He will be fine on the sofa for a few nights.

Nice try, but the OP seems very confident that she'll be on the sofa while this prince among men takes her bed.

@strawberrylemons The issue is actually that your parents need to parent their (adult) children.
You are all visiting your parents’ house - they should be saying who sleeps where, not you, your DH or your sisters…
Your mum was happy enough to turf you out of your room for your aunt- she can do the same for you and your DH.

If your parents are not prepared to tackle this issue (and as they have quite rightly offered a large bed to the daughter who is pregnant with twins) then you should take their room and let your sisters feel the shame.

Husband on the sofa or you find a air bnb or hotel

simple

And I love that her sisters aren't going on that guilt trip @strawberrylemons is trying to send them on.

Has anyone suggested a tent in the back yet?

I just saw there's dogs too.

From the way I have read the posts the husband is completely unaware of these discussions so nothing to suggest he has any expectations of anyone’s bed. It’s OP who has decided he can’t possibly spend a couple of nights on the sofa

So your mother would prefer her pregnant daughter slept on the sofa to avoid any inconvenience of her son in law, sorry guest?

I’m going to call BS on that.

.

He does have a private space, the room is available.

He can sleep on a sleeping bag on the floor.

It sounds like you have resentment towards your sisters and you’re using your pregnancy to finally get one over on them.

I take this point, but I’m from a western culture, as I suspect are the OP’s sisters. I’d give up my bed for a pregnant sister, but not for the brother in law who could perfectly well sleep on the sofa.

There does also seem to be a bit of a backstory here, opaque inheritance, failing business, unrenovated house and camper van. Maybe the sisters are passing on the message that if the OP wants to hold her husband’s comfort above everyone else she can do so, but she can’t expect them to follow suit.

It sounds as though it was a standard three-bedroom semi-detached with two double bedrooms and a box room where one of the double bedrooms was partioned into two small bedrooms so OP and her sisters each had a bedroom.

If that's what happened, those bedrooms would all be pretty small.