AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

This.

Good grief! Of course your “hubby” can sleep on the settee! He’s not a guest despite what you say, he’s your husband. Provided he’s not going to sleep starkers with everything on display, it’s no problem even if your mum or sisters need to walk through when he’s asleep. If he needs alone time, he can chill in your room until everyone else goes to bed.
There’s absolutely no need for you to cause unnecessary drama by insisting you’ll sleep on the sofa. YABVU.

Gosh, problem after problem after problem. No-ones solutions are suitable!

What do you want people to say @strawberrylemons ?

Let us know, so we can say it.........

Also, I don't care how this sounds, I agree with other posters that I would instantly get the ick for any man who would not prioritise a woman's comfort over his own. Maybe I am just fussy though.

I expect you will say that your husband hasn't ASKED to take one of the sister's rooms.

Problem solved if that is the case. He can sleep on the sofa.

Yes, I can understand this being an important distinct. I wouldn't like to sleep on the sofa in my in laws house but would be fine at my parents home.

So what? He’s not made of sugar. Hes sleeps on the sofa and you get the bed. There is no issue here.

Could your DH get up and let the dogs out @strawberrylemons ? Might give your mum a nice break.
I am an early riser though these days (thanking you menopause) so I would offer with no issue. I do appreciate not everyone would want to offer this!

I have said this 3 times now - but I suppose OP wants to be the martyr and not accept

Actually, the situation isn’t that big of a deal in real life, it’s been blown up massively on here. I’m not worried at all, neither are my family. It was a simple vent after talking to my sister and it has become a whole different situation on mumsnet

my husband isn’t having anyone’s room, he’s in my room, with our dogs. I was just hopeful I could have my sisters room over the sofa but that isn’t an option so im having the sofa. I’m really not THAT precious about it, it was just a bit annoying that’s all

I agree with you, so many wet men these days. A couple of nights in a sleeping bag by the OP’s bed won’t kill him. He doesn’t need an air bed FFS.

If I were the husband and I turned up at the house and my pregnant wife said off you go to use my bed darling, I'm on the sofa - I'd think I was on Candid Camera.

Okay, I’ll explain the logic, since apparently this distinction is impossible for some people to understand.

OP’s husband did not grow up in that house and was not raised by OP’s parents. He is absolutely a family member, but that doesn’t mean his relationship to his in-laws’ home is identical to the relationship OP and her sisters have with their childhood home.

In this situation, he can be both a family member and a guest in his in-laws’ home. OP’s sister, on the other hand, is their daughter who grew up there. In many cultures and families, that distinction matters when it comes to hospitality and who is expected to give up their space for whom.

You don’t have to agree with that family dynamic, but pretending there is no distinction whatsoever is just being deliberately obtuse.

Why is your husband a ‘guest’ with your family? My dh is not a guest with mine nor me with his. Either of us would sleep on a sofa, although obviously I would not when pregnant. Chuck him on the sofa, celebrate that it finally elevates him beyond guest, and go visit. He’ll be fine. You’ll have a bed. Op, you are going to have twins. That is a huge event. Please focus on the things that matter. In a few month that will be sleep, counted by minutes, and resetting the kitchen and doing laundry so you can cope. Anyone who wants to stress about minor details like a man sleeping on the sofa will be someone you have no time for while you’re keeping two babies alive.

6 adults and multiple dogs in a bungalow so small it cant fit an airbed. Wow.

The OP doesn't appear to be wanting to accept ANY solution offered or suggested. Not one. As I said, someone saying 'one of your sisters needs to give up their bed for him and sleep on the sofa' is the ONLY response she wants to hear.

Then again, they are not going to do so, and apparently all bedrooms are 4 feet wide and cannot fit an airbed on the floor next to a single bed, OP doesn't want her DH to sleep on the sofa with relatives passing through, and they can't afford a hotel room.

Only one answer left @strawberrylemons . Don't go.

You will probably poo poo that suggestion too, though, so I'll my coat. This thread is breathtakingly frustrating and annoying!

having read the whole thread I can't say I'm remotely surprised that the OP has decided the only possible solution is to make a massive martyr of herself and sleep on the sofa because otherwise how else could she make everyone feel terrible and guilt her parents into then forcing one of her sisters to give up her bed for OP DH?

Im not saying there isn’t a solution, this person was questioning the lay out of the house, I was just explaining it, there was no solution here??

you’ve clearly already seen what I’ve said about my husband so I won’t be repeating myself 🙄

Either your husband goes on the sofa or you pay for a nearly hotel. I wouldn’t give up my bed for a perfectly able bodied adult!

What the fuck is wrong with him then? What happened to he’ll sleep on a bed of nails for me? He most fucking obviously will NOT if he will let this happen. Put the man on the sofa. You’re quite pregnant and with twins. Take the bed. Get a grip. You are allowed to prioritise yourself. He most certainly should prioritise you in this case.

I don't understand why the OP is getting such a hard time. It seems like a perfectly reasonable request, for all the reasons she's given. The sisters sound selfish. And for everyone saying "get an airbed" (despite the OP saying repeatedly that it's not possible) - airbeds are bloody awful, all that squeaking every time the person moves -even worse if it's a laminate floor - keeps everyone awake.
I think the problem here is that all the kids still think of the parents house as theirs, despite not living there for years. It's not their home anymore.

My husband would ALWAYS sleep on a sofa in favour of me being comfortable however if it's in the lounge he will either make us go to bed by 11 or just sit with us asleep 😆

Any other time I wouldn’t go, but as I’ve already said, I’m going to visit a relative who is very sick in hospital, I will give no more details on that.

im aware I’m seeming like an issue and ive taken some comments on board (not all because some people are just mean) but this has been blown up massively on here, it honestly isn’t such a big deal in real life

The persistent air bed recommendations are bizarre

The maths is

I can say for certain a single air bed will not fit in the single bed room at my home, as the bed takes up more than half the room width and if you did manage to somehow squash it in the gap, you would not be able to close the door.

A number of responses to this thread direct are part of an emerging trend that is an unfortunate, but inevitable consequence of many forums becoming increasingly contaminated with posts to intentionally subvert the reliability of forums (by bad actors), proliferation of AI-derived content and the reliable, but unreliable bored amateur, unpaid fiction writers (trolls). We are, or probably already have sleepwalked to the point where people have frequent difficulty deciding whether what they are reading is genuine... and if you think about that long enough, it should scare the shit out of you in a digital world.

Existential rant over

Hotel, airbed in lounge or tent for husband in garden?

Sounds like people have become territorial over their former childhood bedrooms, which is what happens when the family get together and we all get to hash out our unspoken dramas / learnt familial roles - a rehearsal for Christmas!

The fussed-over Crown Prince drives the OP up, then goes and spends the nights in a hotel for his 'privacy'. OP can be with her family (and multiple dogs) and the Crown Prince can indulge is whatever this precious privacy is required for

No woman should be expected to give up her bed for a man. He can sleep on the floor in the OP’s room.