AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

Jealous of what?

Sorry, I just assumed you were assuming im
stupid and that I don’t know where babies should sleep, that’s how I read it.
but no I won’t be visiting my parents with newborns, I know it’s not practical, so it’s just something we won’t be doing. They’ll of course come to us but I won’t be going there, probably not for a long time which is part of the reason I’m trying to make the most of it now!

Just don't go. Who can be arsed with all this? Sorry, i'm peri and just can't deal with this type of stuff! And your sisters sound selfish.

Not read the full thread so I'm sure someone else has suggested this but surely you can just buy an airbed to put on your bedroom floor so husband can sleep in there with you?

ETA: read your replies now and can see you say the room is too small for this, apols.

Are you sisters rooms all too small for an airbed too?

Why bother posting the thread then?

Son-in laws bunk on the sofa when visiting in-laws all the time. Why have you built this up so much? It’s for a few nights, not a month. Why does he need such high security privacy!? What’s he getting up to?

You’re making him out to be some delicate precious little Prince.

My Dad or DH wouldn’t dream of letting one of the female members of my family kip on the sofa. They would man the fuck up and get on with it. He’ll be one of those needing the gas and air and a sweet cup of tea when you’re pushing those twins out.

That's complete manipulation though. You know perfectly well that, if it comes down to it, your sisters aren't going to let you sleep on the sofa. So you get what you want, whilst maintaining this superior attitude and belief in your husband being "a guest".

According to the OP, all the bedrooms in the house the OP is visiting are 4 feet wide and 5 and half feet long, so once you factor in the single bed in there, there's no room.

.

So if he isn’t a guest, then he’s a family member? And you wouldn’t do this for a family member either? Or is it neither? Because honestly, I don’t understand the argument.

The attitudes I’m seeing from some of the commenters here are genuinely bizarre. The idea that giving up your bed for a family member for one night is somehow an unacceptable sacrifice says a lot about how little value some people place on basic hospitality and family.

Thank God I wasn’t raised like this, and I certainly won’t be raising my children to think this way either.

The commenters here can carry on living their sad little lives where nobody stays over, nobody invites them anywhere, and they hide behind the sofa when someone rings the doorbell. If attacking people who still have basic etiquette, generosity and respect for family is what passes for entertainment around here, then I suppose that says enough about the kind of lives they’re living.

He’ll be one of those needing the gas and air and a sweet cup of tea when you’re pushing those twins out.

🤣🤣🤣

Yeah, in my world, men usually give up the beds, DH always does. Not saying they should, but all the men I know do this.

There are times where you really, really should at least read all the OPs posts!

Wouldn't do what to a family member? The very thing you think he should do to them? Please, do explain the logic...

wrong thread!

YANBU to say that you need either a single bed to yourself or fair share of a double. YABU to turn down the offered workable option (you and husband go in parents' room with the double bed, parents use couch and your tiny room's single bed) and insist on a different solution that isn't being offered. If your parents wanted to, they could simply say in advance that you're going in Room X (one of the singles your sisters normally use) and Sister Y is going on the couch, but they are not offering this. Chances are they are going to be MORE upset if one of your sisters cancels or gets into a funk over it than they will be swapping with you and taking the couch/tiny room.

The AIBU question was unnecessarily complicated because you originally said that (1) YOU did not want your husband to sleep on the sofa, and didn't mention until later that your parents didn't want him there, and (2) you needed an actual bed. Of course if you can take the couch if that's workable for you; that's the least disruptive option. Also, YABU to post an AIBU and then try to shame people who reply for being overly invested in your problem! 😂

Please please please post pictures of the rooms. It’s just difficult for anyone to imagine a bedroom that doesn’t have a narrow walkway next to the bed that you can squeeze someone sleeping in. I’m not rich by a long way, grew up in a tiny house with friends who also had box rooms (which meant moment you lay down on floor the door had to stay shut until you got up).

I am one of 3 sisters too and although we’re not incredibly close they would never let me sleep on the sofa when I was pregnant and would totally get their BIL being more comfortable in a bedroom. They’d probably alternate nights in the sofa over the weekend.
I totally get your disappointment on them not being more flexible. I’m hoping they are a little more generous when you’re actually there and offer you a bed for the night (or your parents put the foot down and/or bang their heads together).
Hope you do have a nice weekend together.

So your only solution is for you to sleep in the sofa to minimise any small level of discomfort for your DH?
If that’s how you’re going to start parenthood off knock yourself out.
I’m sure your family will all be thinking less of the man who allows his pregnant wife to sleep on the sofa while he takes the bed.

Ugh 2 rooms have a narrow walkway alongside the bed, the other one has an old wooden wardrobe in it that can’t be moved, there is no space. My parents would’ve put double beds/ airbeds in a long time ago if it was possible, instead their son in laws get dragged there every Christmas and are made to share a single bed with their wife 😂 people do live like this, it’s not that hard to believe

Sorry @strawberrylemons but there is zero chance my husband would take anyone's bedroom if that meant the person would be on the sofa. What man would??
So I think either cram an air mattress in somewhere or you sleep on the sofa.

I suspect you are going to make a huge drama once you get there though to attempt to guilt one of your sisters 😈
Your DH is going to be mortified that you have painted him as a diva, imagine your IL's telling everyone you are too precious to sleep on a sofa so your pregnant with twins wife had to! Or one of your SIL's. Ouch.

You could put a mat on that narrow piece of floor space. Travel mats and camping beds are not large. One of my children has a bedroom like this, but still has friends over to stay. It’s not ideal, but probably better than the sofa.

@FoldItIn there is zero chance my husband would take anyone'sbedroom if that meant the person would be on the sofa. What man would??

Exactly. It should be an immediate ick that a man is happy to do that.

I think the reality is that this will be the end of you all visiting at the same time, as simply, if there isn't enough room to accommodate a small extra blow up bed then you're literally going to be stuck for space in the same way with travel cots etc once the babies arrive. In this scenario hubby should just sleep on the couch and get up before mum lets the dogs out etc. Just one night so no big deal, but longer term this problem is going to get worse.

Your parents can’t be that old. I could sleep on an airbed (you can get single, double height ones for £32 from Tesco at the moment) or the sofa for a short time and I’m 60.
Take them up on their offer.

Sorry OP your sisters are being selfish but that is their right I'm afraid. You need to find another solution. Do you need to go the same weekend as them? Just don't go now and pick another time. Or take the train and DH doesn't come. Or one of the many other suggestions already made here which you have rejected. You may decide to sleep on the sofa, but if your husband takes the bed and lets you do that, I'd have no respect for him.