AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

A small open plan bungalow really can't accommodate 6 adults comfortably. No wonder nobody wants to sleep on the sofa.
I really think uou need to sort yourselves out if he cant squeeze into your room.

Coming in a bit late here, but honestly @strawberrylemons I can't imagine any bedroom in any house anywhere - ever that would not fit a single airbed in it. Is the room 4 feet wide? You appear to be poo-pooing all suggestions, and posts that aren't 'yes one of your sisters needs to give up her bed for your DH!'

Get a hotel room for the two of you. Travelodge or something. I think it's mad that you share a single bed normally anyway. How hugely uncomfortable that must be for 2 adults!

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In which cultures is a husband a guest?

It's not that people don't believe you, it's that you're rejecting every option that causes a little bit of inconvenience. Unfortunately the fact is that, unless you have the money to do whatever you want, you will have to compromise on something.

Even in a box room there is space to walk down the side of the bed to get in it. Maybe it wouldn't fit a mattress, but it would probably fit a few camping roll mats and a normal sized human...

That isn’t how it reads though, and it’s the patronising wording that’s the issue not the misunderstanding of what location she’s referring to.

it hasn’t not gone the way I expected, I didn’t think people would care this much, I think you’re all a lot more upset about this than I am 😂

I think there’s some internalised misogyny here too, not just ‘I’m so special’ which is definitely part of it. Hopefully OP will wake up a bit before raising a child!!

OP, you are right that this has touched a nerve with a lot of mums because many of us know what male entitlement feels like and have had to fight against it in our lives, and it gets harder after having children. If you don’t really care or find our reactions a bit amusing then that is one thing, but many of us really do care a lot and we look out for other women too. Mumsnet can be brutal but there are also a lot of women on here who are looking out for the interests of other women. Believe it or not, we are supporting women.

Camp bed in your room. But maybe your parents should upgrade to a guest bed - narrow single with a bed underneath to pull out and zip to the top mattress.

Surely no decent husband would agree to take the proper bed while his pregnant wife sleeps on a sofa!!!

I’d be more concerned about the husband’s behaviour than the sisters.

You do realise that your attitude is what's triggered the reaction on this thread? That should be valuable feedback and insight for you.

Do none of the bedrooms fit a camp bed?

I’m far too invested in this but I want to know what happens at bedtime tonight - I’ll be very surprised if the family allow pregnant with twins op to take the sofa and the rest of them have beds!! Op please let us know who ends up on the sofa.

I’m not rejecting every option though, I’m explaining why some things aren’t practical and why I won’t have my husband in the living room, people then argue with me about that 😂

also people don’t believe me about the size of the rooms that’s what I’m referring to in that comment...
ive said a few times now that I’ll probably just go in the living room, I was just venting online and i see that most people think I’m unreasonable, that’s fine, I can deal with that and work on it.

Are you always such a martyr, OP?

Read all the OPs posts, it's all there

I didn't think you were lying, I was trying get more detail to see if anyone could offer any suggestions.
Could a dress rail with a sheet be used to screen part of the living area off to give privacy?

Apologies for assuming that you would want to visit the family you are visiting again after your babies are born. I kind of expected that you would have a room arrangement plan for when your family visits your parents and wondered what that was.

Do you all have the rooms you had as kids? Surely it would be better for your parents to redecorate and create actual guest rooms especially if they want you and twins to come stay at all. Not that this solves the issue just now - would sister swap rooms so you can fit airbed on floor or are all the rooms tiny?

As I’ve said multiple times, he doesn’t even know this is a discussion that’s happening, my husband is a good man and would sleep on a bed of nails for me, it’s my issue that I don’t want a “guest” on the sofa, people can argue with me all they want about that but it’s just how I feel and I’m sticking with it

Someone mentioned a camper van. Is this what you’re travelling in? If so, could DH sleep in that?
also, is there only one toilet which is through the communal area?
i was thinking that whoever slept in the lounge would at least have a degree of privacy until morning and the dogs being let out but this won’t be the case if everyone has to traipse by for the toilet.
Gosh, there really isn’t enough room in the house for all the visitors. Who was the last addition to the weekend? Surely they could have been told there’s no bed for you?

If in doubt, when you know you're in the wrong, start deflecting. 🙄 No-one is upset on here, only you, because most people are not saying what you want to hear.

You are being incredibly unreasonable. As I said, 'one of your sisters needs to give up her bedroom for your husband!' is the ONLY answer or solution you are willing to hear and accept.

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@strawberrylemons AGAIN

Why can't one parent sleep in a single bed and the other one on the sofa so you and H have the double bed?

They have offered, you have declined - why?? Seems like you are enjoying being a martyr

As I have said before, they are hardly old (if you and yours sisters are 20s/30s) and most of us late 50s/60s are more than capable of doing this for a night or 2

No, they have a camper van but unfortunately DH still hasn't got round to renovating it. Or the house they live in.

Exactly! Husband is not a guest, he's family.

We have a box room where you can just fit a single bed in - it is one single bed long, and two wide, with rhe door occupying half the spaxe. However, once the door is shut you could absolutely roll out a camping roll and sleep in the floor once the door is shut. Especially if you were married.

Under no circumstances should a woman heavily pregnant with twins, with medical issues, be sleeping on the sofa.

OP is turning this into a me vs my sisters fight when it doesn't need to be.

Also, you can afford a hotel, you are just choosing not to allocate the funds that way (and your sisters know it). How much of your year's maternity leave would a couple of nights in a hotel cost. Half a week? A week?

I wasn't being patronising, I was checking you were aware as I thought you said bunk beds were planned for you and your husband in future.
Still, I'd rather annoy 100 people than keep quiet and let someone who didn't know the safe sleeping guidance remain uninformed.

I struggle to believe that a single bedroom has no floor space.