AIBU sleeping arrangement

[strawberrylemons]

I’m visiting my parents this weekend, as are my 2 sisters (we’re all adults 23,29 and 32). I’m bringing my husband, sisters are going alone. I’m currently 19 weeks pregnant with twins, this is relevant.
all the bedrooms have a single bed in them, prior to pregnancy id just share with my husband and we’d have a bad nights sleep but get over it. Now im pregnant sleeping is a bit more uncomfortable and I need a pillow under my belly etc. so someone has to sleep on the sofa. I can’t make hubby sleep on the sofa because the living room is the walk way through to the kitchen so he’d have no privacy. So the options are for pregnant me or my sisters to go on the sofa. I’ve asked both my sisters if they’d give their bed up for me, they’ve both said no. My one sister even had a tantrum over it and said she just won’t visit if I’m going to take “her” bed (bear in mind she hasn’t lived at my parents house for 7 years).
I’m feeling a little disappointed in my sisters and that they wouldn’t let their pregnant sister have a bed for a weekend. My parents have offered their bed to my husband and I as a result but it doesn’t seem fair as they are both older and need the bed too.
Am I being unreasonable expecting someone to give up a bed for me? I would never ask at any other time in my life, it’s just one weekend during my pregnancy.

"Family all muck in and work with what they’ve got"

Except, apparently, when the family is OP's sisters, whose sacred rights to privacy you are all, bafflingly, stampeding to defend.

I was shocked by how many people think I’m being unreasonable, some people have a selfish attitude of “it’s not my problem so why should I make a sacrifice” where has this come from? even my sweet old nan (in her 90s) offered me her bed at her house saying she’d sleep on the recliner 😂
I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant but it’s one of those things I wouldn’t even have to think about if it were the other way round, which is why I didn’t think it would be an issue but it’s clearly upset a lot of people!

This is a no brainer. Husbands sleeps on the sofa so his pregnant wife can have a bed. Your sisters should not have to sleep on the sofa because you are pregnant. He doesn’t need privacy for such a short time, he is just sleeping and can use your room to get change. I think the OP’s priorities are really off here.

Oh my goodness, could you please STOP framing this as someone giving up their bed for you??? You have a bed!!!! You just want one for your husband as well.

Also the husband is family too, he is not some kind of special guest. They are all family now. The notion that he is a guest is so weird.

@Moveoverdarlin

' You’ve made him sound like a wet lettuce. '

one of the best comments on this thread !

You're being unreasonable because there are clearly numerous solutions. But obviously you want a specific sister to give up her room.
If your nan is nearby can you have an airbed in her living room? Or is that an unusually shaped teeny tiny house too?

Absolutely, I think the best option is for me to be on the sofa to save the drama, it’s only a weekend I’ll live!

True. Multiple DCs in private school means you have LESS money for a holiday abroad (unless you’re a Branson, Jagger, etc). What did they want you to do—pull your DCs out for a term to go on holiday?

I know I may seem entitled and precious expecting someone to give up a bed for me while I’m pregnant

NO! You want them to give up their bed for your husband, not for you! Why do you keep saying that when it's not true?

No one is giving up their bed for you though. They are being told to give up their bed for a perfectly healthy, non pregnant bloke.

So will your bloomin husband!!

But they wouldn't be giving up a bed for you

They'd be giving up a bed for your husband.

There's a big difference.

Maybe for you or your family.

I don’t prioritise my bed, my comfort or my personal space over people — especially not family, whether they’re related to me by blood or not. The fact that some people genuinely see giving up a bed for a family member as some huge sacrifice says a lot.

I guess materialism has taken on a whole new form these days: people are so attached to their possessions and comfort that they’d rather protect a mattress than show basic compassion to their own family.

So basically you want to centre your husband above your sisters, and are annoyed that they're not joining you in the dickpandering.

This.

Im sure he will cope for a few nights. In all honesty as a fellow twin parent then you will both have to make sacrifices and compromises going forward. Being a mummy martyr e.g. sleeping on the sofa yourself isn’t the best way to go

Op, as others have said your parents just do not have the space or the beds to accommodate 4 guests.
You all need to stagger your stays.
Best of luck with your pregnancy.

All the bedrooms can't be box rooms?

Swap rooms to a bigger one, your sister can sleep in the box room, and then get an air mattress on the floor for husband

Hang on though, I don’t think this is actually accurate. You have a bed. Your own bed. If you genuinely had nowhere to sleep then I think the answer might be different. It’s only because you/ your parents won’t let your DH sleep in the lounge that this is an issue. And I can see why your sisters are not best pleased.

Honestly though just go another time. The house isn’t big enough for everyone unless your DH sleeps on the sofa so you need to make another plan. Don’t try to force your parents to make your sisters share, that’s not fair.

Your husband should be on the sofa

Dickpandering. Love it! But so true and not needed

For goodness’ sake, OP don’t be a martyr and sleep on the sofa while your husband takes the bed. That is silly. Is there a cultural reason why you are putting his needs above yours and your sisters’ needs? I really don’t understand this. In my world, women would be given priority for bedrooms and a bloke would be fine on the sofa (or an air mattress in the sitting room if he is too tall).

I’ve read the whole thread. I understand there is a female family culture of self sacrifice. I think it’s a good time to stop that now.

guests don’t need better/more etc than other people. Men don’t need better or more than other people (read women)

it is an obvious situation where it is most appropriate for the husband to sleep on the sofa because the pregnant wife shouldn’t and no one else should be expected to sacrifice for this able bodied male family member

i understand that you (op) have made sacrifices for your sisters in the past. That’s nice, it your choice. No one should expect it if you, and I suggest that right now as you start building your own family you put down the concept of self sacrifice because it leads to a life time of not being supported and feeling martyred.
as your pregnancy progresses and when the babies come you are going to need support and your husband needs to accept some inconvenience and shared load to support you and your babies.

put him on the sofa and don’t even worry a jot about it

i bet he’s slept on the sofa at loads of mates houses in the past, surely

this reminds me of the old thread about ‘penis portions’ where families feed the men the biggest portions and the best bits of meat and women go without

Course that's the best option, to have everyone up in arms that your sisters treated you so badly. The way this will actually play out is that you've created so much drama your sister will stay at home and everyone will remember it as the time your sister missed seeing ill relative because either your husband wouldn't sleep on a sofa for his pregnant wife or because you decided your family unit required 2 bedrooms so your sister couldn't have one.

…and while there’s a home to stay in, of course I’ll go there over a hotel!

That’s the point.
There isn’t a home to stay in. You have outgrown it !
You are no longer children squashing up together.

So if you must go visit at the same time as your sisters, stay in a hotel!
It isn’t your sisters’ problem to solve. It isn’t your parent’s problem to solve either.
You can’t have it all ways OP.