My friend is about to have her third baby. AIBU to buy a small gift for her older children too?

[aberdeenauntie]

My friend is having a baby soon. I don't have children (yet). I've bought my friend a few gifts for both her and for the baby, but I was wondering about getting something small for her existing children? They are roughly 12 and 10 years old so they're not very young but I thought it might still be nice to get them something, maybe a voucher to get donuts or similar? Other suggestions welcome! I've only met them once so I don't actually know them very well, though my friend has told them about me. If I do get something for her older children, will her husband feel left out? I have never met him so it feels strange to get him anything. Maybe he could join in on the donuts? What do you think?

Not unreasonable at all. I think that's a lovely idea.

It would be very strange for you to buy the husband something. Get the kids a present if you really want to. I don’t think anyone bought my older 2 anything when they came round with a ‘baby’ gift. But each to their own.

I always buy a gift for older children if there is a new baby sibling. Nothing big but just so they have something new too.

My friends do have smaller age gaps between their kids though so not sure what I would buy a 10-12 year old.

Absolutely agree. I always buy a gift for the other children.

That’s a nice idea.

I can’t link for some reason but if you put ‘sweet gift for big brother/sister’ into Google, some nice little gift boxes come up.

Yes definitely get something for the older DC, bless them. Doesn’t have to be a lot, just some chocolate or something like that.
No need to buy anything for her husband though.

I've always bought the older child something so they don't feel left out but they've usually been a lot younger, nothing expensive just sticker book & sweets type of thing. As they are older perhaps just some edible treats👍

Its lovely to think of them. Its tricky if you dont know them. Im sure some donuts or cupcakes would be enjoyed.

This is so sweet! I had a 3yo when my second baby was born and lots of people got her a little token gift, a book or puzzle type of thing.

I think a board game/family game type of thing would be good, potentially one mum could still play while holding/feeding baby. We really like Herd Mentality.

Or just a tray of Krispy Kreme doughnuts you can pick up from Tesco would also go down well in most houses 👌🏼

Absolutely fine to buy something for the children.

This is common in my circle. For the ages you’ve said I’d get something like a “big brother / sister” t-shirt, a book or some arts & crafts. I think donuts go down well for any occasion 🤣

Definitely the children but not the husband

I always buy something for older siblings- after all they will appreciate the gift far more than a newborn. Doughnut vouchers are a great idea, I have got a FiveGuys voucher recently for a 13 year old elder brother and a bubble tea voucher for the 11 year old sister.
I'm sure her DH won't feel left out but you could always bring a box of biscuits as there are likely to be lots of visitors.

This is very kind. I really appreciated when friends and family did this for my older children. New baby gets spoiled with presents, it’s nice for the older ones to feel included.
husband however should be able to cope with no present🤣

I think it's a lovely idea - and (going against the grain) I'd also include a donut for dad 😀 🍩
It's nice not to be left out completely 😀

Lovely idea.

Preferable to buying the baby anything in truth. Babies don’t tend to need anything and can’t appreciate gifts anyway whereas older siblings will.

I always buy a small gift for the older kids.
2 people did this with my kids, and it meant the world to them. They saw so many people giving gifts to the baby, it was lovely when they also got a little something too.

Not unreasonable at all!

By 10/12 they understand that they don’t always get gifts when a sibling does though, so I don’t think you need to do more than get them some chocolates or sweets or your donut suggestion.

I’ve bought little presents for very young siblings, as well as for the new baby. I don’t see why not, if you want to and can afford to.