People have started being nicer to me since I started hrt - aibu to think it's related?

[CurdinHenry]

Like I must be exuding some pro social pheromones as a result

I am certain it's not because my behaviour or confidence have changed

I'm going to hedge my bets that you 'think' nothing changed personality wise but that it did, even in the minute tone.

I have a friend who swears she's not changed in meno. 😂 Completely un-self-aware.

Agreed. Honestly can’t stand this peri obsession and everything must be peri and woe is me.. we live our lives going through hormonal stuff.

To not to level of menopausal shift we largely don't.

This is fact, not woe is me....

Clinical research published by Liverpool John Moores University shows that approximately 1 in 6 women (16.6%) experience suicidal thoughts during perimenopause and menopause. 1]

Sadly it's very hard to get a doctor to give HRT past 60, at that's what it's like at my local GP's. You could go see a menopause specialist for a chat?

Yes, I had my gallbladder out earlier this year, and I was astonished at how much more cheerful I became when it no longer hurts to eat and I don't have to choose very limited food from the menu all the time.

I'm so excited for life now, and not grumpy all the time. It's great.

Many people breeze through the menopause, many don't. I am on HRT because I cannot sleep. Not because of hot flushes, those I can live with, but l cannot sleep, night after night, awake until about 5am. After months, years of this, it's very hard to keep smiling and being light.

While yes, we live our lives with hormonal stuff, some people suffer.

This a thousand per cent.

I think k what hasn’t helped is the commercial aspect so companies know they can sell more shampoo or whatever citing peri or menopause.

whilst I agree hormones shift all the time, I don’t think mine have been anything like they are now pre menopause. Period/ovary pain which makes me vomit - which I know some women have all the time.

I have noticed a change in friends or work colleagues mood and then later they mentioned they had started HRT. They didn’t think there had been a change, but there had. I was able to be less cautious of causing them to be stressed or upset, they were lighter and happier. It’s not a big shift, but it is noticeable. It was the same for me, I returned to my happier self so everyone didn’t irritate me 🙈

DH and I watched the Davina McCall program on the menopause a few years ago and were laughing because he has nearly all of the things she was talking about as well!

I am a self aware and positive person. I always have full awareness that everyone has their own struggles (my husband has a life limiting condition so I have compassion for other people in that I know what constant slight dredging terror feels like) and I have always said hello, smiled, tried hard to make others feel at ease. I think that's my responsibility in this world (and everyone's but I can only control myself). I don't accept "peri makes me feel bad so I can be a cow", that's bad craic.

So I am totally certain it isn't a change in my behaviour. I fear it's actually that humans are biologically ageist and I'm coming across as younger artificially.

Was interested to know if anyone else had felt the same.

I agree with this too. It's madness how we treat ageing as unique to women.

40+ has been better for me moodwise than any time previously back to my first period. My symptoms were entirely physical and I was actually reluctant to start her because I didn't want to go back to feeling as depressed as I did in my twenties and thirties, which I came to realise was hormonally driven. But the mild prolapse was enough to risk it. Fortunately my mood hasn't changed.

Exactly. We go through puberty. People go through hell every month with periods, up and down moods, lack of sex drive, pain all through their younger years. And then there’s the joys of pregnancy. Why is menopause then spoken about as a disability? It’s just more of the same.
Sadly it’s the joys of being a woman, we have to deal with it our whole lives. I wish we didn’t. But peri is just blamed for everything

Hasn’t the hrt sorted it?

Your behaviour towards other people might not have changed, but the way you perceive interactions and the moods of others probably has. They're not being nicer to you. You just feel more well-disposed towards them because your mood has improved. This sort of thing can absolutely happen without you being aware of it.

You do not suddenly appear 'younger' or give off magic pheromones to others because you're on HRT.

This is a really arrogant, head up your own arse, I'm ok Jack view of peri and meno.

Not everyone experiences things as you do. Shocker huh?

I for one, credit HRT with probably saving my life. I never had massive ups or downs with PMT, light and fast periods, no biggie all my life. Peri fucking floored me. I thought I was losing my fucking mind. And I didn't know how to live like that. I was teetering on a cliff edge.

Have some compasion and realise everyone experiences things - especially hormonal shifts - differently.

Jesus.

Yes, it has, that's why am on it. I would rather not be, mum got breast cancer on HRT, so it's a worry for me. But the quality of life without it is very much reduced, no sleep is something that affects every aspect of my life.

Yes, agree. Again people think because they're ok, everyone else must be.. making it up? Hysterical? Weak for not coping? I don't know, but it's judgemental and shit - people should just accept that others are not so lucky and they shouldn't compare them to their own experience.

I do suffer with it, how assuming of you to think otherwise. It’s just more of the same.

I think you've misunderstood. It's not a choice. It's absolutely horrendous to be filled with uncontrollable rage and anger, have panic attacks, anxiety and feelings of impending doom. Nobody would choose that.

You’re definitely well in the swing of that phase, though not necessarily linked to peri to be fair.

Completely agree. The suggestion that anyone who experiences the (medically evidenced!) mood changes must be making perimenopause their personality as some performative, self indulgent revelling in middle aged grumpiness is really reductive and insulting. If you've sailed through without experiencing it yourself: brilliant. But maybe accept that we all experience things differently, rather than assuming everyone else is "making a bit of fuss".

For me, the anxiety, low mood, and exhaustion but inability to sleep was debilitating and DEFINITELY affected my mood. If you're chronically sleep deprived and close to tears and feeling like life is completely joyless, I think you can expect it might affect one's disposition.

Silly me for not being able to stiff-upper-lip myself out of the depression and anxiety.

You were being a perimenopausal nob.
Then you went on HRT.
And now you're not being a nob.
Just because you weren't aware of it doesn't mean it wasn't happening.
Clearly everyone around you WAS aware of it and your attitude/behaviour.
Not having a go... its a hormonal issue.

Lacks reading skills and compassion. Noted.