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AIBU?

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Furious with what happened to DS17 on his last day of work

155 replies

Workcomplaintt · Yesterday 20:44

I have changed my name for this because posts on my normal account could give away the company involved.

DS (17) had his final day of a part time job today. He knew it was always a short term contract and he really enjoyed working there, it was his first proper job.

Upon picking him up today, he was absolutely covered head to toe in flour, eggs, milk and god knows what else. Apparently it’s tradition whenever someone leaves that they get tied up and humiliated by their colleagues. I could tell DS was shaken up, he said he didn’t know it was going to happen and he didn’t feel they’d listen if he asked them to stop.

He took off what clothes he could before getting in my car but it’s in a right state.

I am in two minds to turn up at the company tomorrow and give them a piece of my mind. I said as much to DS. He’s only 17 for goodness sake.

He has asked me not to say anything to them.

Would it be wrong of me to make an issue of this despite his wishes for me not to?

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · Today 05:38

I got a doing like this at work- including eggs, flour, ketchup, mayonnaise and 2 big buckets of water - before I got married, but I wasn't tied up and was able to chase the ringleader and try to give her a big hug when I was plastered in the stuff, and I was able to change into scrubs to go home. I think the tying up is really wrong though, and I don't think they would have done it to somebody young or really shy, or who they hadn't known for years. I'm pretty sure they would have stopped if I hadn't been laughing and fighting back. It's one of those "only a joke if the victim thinks it's funny" things.

Seajaye · Today 06:13

I wasn't suggesting the employer would give a bad reference. The employer might refuse to give one at all.

Stopsnowing · Today 06:19

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · Today 01:06

What the bloody fuck would they do if the victim had an allergic reaction!?

There was the sad case of a child who died after a piece of cheese was thrown at him at school.

I would report this to the police and get a solicitor involved to threaten legal action with the aim of getting an agreement to apologise, delete the video, undertake never to let this happen again, provide compensation and an agreed reference.

Seajaye · Today 06:21

DarkchocolateAndtea · Yesterday 22:32

Are you joking? Who would want a reference from those idiots? Her son is 17 and needs guided and to know it isn't okay and this behaviour absolutely needs reported. At 17, I'd have said the same thing, but hope to god my parents would have sat me down and told me it is wrong, nothing to he embarrassed of, and made it clear it needed reported. I would have felt validated and heard. Op's son won't see these people again.

When things like this are swept under the carpet it leads to repeated behaviour and risk of escalation. The filming and the tying up take this above and beyond a simple work prank.

He may not need a reference but if he was a conscientious employee he might like to feel able to ask for one, and not be remembered as the lad whose mum made a formal complaint non his behalf. I would have been mortified if my mother contacted my employer about anything against my wishes . I never expected my parents to phone in if I was sick either. I always dealt with my own problems myself at 17. It's a different matter if her son asks his mother to report it on his behalf but he hasn't.

Workcomplaintt · Today 06:40

ExpectMore · Today 04:41

@Workcomplaintt given is a tradition, he presumably knew it was coming and / or observed it happening to others.

it would be interesting to explore with him:

  1. why he did nothing beforehand to make clear he didn’t want it. Presumably he could have spoken with his manager or hr
  2. if he observed, and possibly participated, in it happening to others. If he did, and either didn’t raise it as an issue or even was part of it, it would lead to an interesting discussion…

perhaps these reasons are partly behind why he didn’t say anything about it and doesn’t want you to….: as he knew it was a possibility, didn’t do anything to actively manage the situation in the run up, and may even have been complicit in the same happening to others previously.

all good material for life lessons to be learnt that will benefit him going forward

He hasn’t seen it happen before - he was there for a matter of months and there wasn’t any turnover of staff. He had no idea it was to happen.

OP posts:
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