AIBU to feel unsupported by EPU staff in pregnancy after loss?

[Ange1502]

TW- miscarriages and pregnancy after loss.

I am currently around 5 weeks pregnant with my 4th pregnancy, I have had one successful pregnancy with my daughter who is now 2- I was on progesterone with her due to my history.

I was at the EPU yesterday and I really struggle with how negative they are and it’s totally draining me. Pregnancy after loss is so so hard, and I feel midwives aren’t supportive regarding new pregnancies and very negative, even though there is actually nothing wrong? I went to discuss getting more progesterone for this pregnancy, and was met with just cold attitudes and I left in tears. I had no negative feelings about this pregnancy so far, and they just kept discussing potential miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies even though the early scan had shown everything in the right place.

I’m not sure how to navigate it going forward or how to not let it eat away at me, I find any time I attend any appointments or speak to anyone it’s never positive and it’s been the same in all of my previous pregnancies too. For context yesterday, I just had an early scan for the progesterone and it was quite early so lots couldn’t be seen which I did think would be the case anyway, I left without the progesterone and just feeling very sad and deflated. Sorry I’m not sure the point of this post but just struggling to navigate it all.

I am sorry you felt unheard and unsupported OP. Early pregnancy worry is enough, especially having already experienced loss, without feeling dismissed on top.
I didn’t have the best time at our EPU either. I had a private scan and saw a heartbeat at noon and by 9pm was bleeding. I knew it was a waste of time going really but my husband insisted and so we went. I waited literally all night bleeding heavily and alone to be told at 7am to come back the next day for a scan because they couldn’t do one. When I cried because a)I was miscarrying, b)hormones and c) overtiredness, the nurse (think was a nurse) said ‘oh for goodness sake, what are you crying for?’ Making me feel like I was being completely unreasonable for being upset and leaving me feeling like a scolded child.
I’m sure not all experiences are like that but I felt pretty let down that day and I wouldn’t hurry back in a similar situation.

I'm sorry they made you feel that way. I didn't find the EPU the best experience ever. They were pretty nice when I had losses but I found some of the staff quite condescending and one chaperone was just incredibly insensitive when I was having my second loss (i would refuse to allow her in the room if I saw her again). I was also told after 2 miscarriages that I'd be able to come for an early scan the next pregnancy, rang when next pregnant and they'd changed the rules to having 3 miscarriages instead (i was gutted an ended up paying for a private one instead). I also couldn't get any progesterone (hard when you feel like it could literally change the outcome).

Unfortunately I think it's because they can't really do a lot if you're miscarrying early so they prioritise what they can do something about, I find my Maternity Assessment Unit absolutely amazing in comparison which I think is who you see if there's any issues after the 12 week scan. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy and I hope you're met with more positivity going forward!