DH's attire on family holiday

[onesinglepringle]

Just looking for some opinions as I don't know if I'm being weird about this!

On a big extended family holiday, all staying in the same house with aunts/ uncles/ cousins/ kids etc that we don't see that often.

DH (late 40's if relevant) is walking around in just the shorts he slept in in the morning whilst he is sorting out our toddler's breakfast etc. No one else seems to be doing this, everyone else is wearing t-shirts.

Is this OK/ normal?

It is warm, and I don't want to tell him to cover up if I'm just being a bit weird and prudish about it.

At the same time, I'm hoping people aren't looking at him and wondering why he's wearing only his sleep shorts from like 6.30-9am, socialising, playing with the kids etc, so it's not just popping down for a coffee. He's unshowered, messy hair etc.

YABU - It's fine, chill out, it's family (even though extended family we don't see)
YANBU - he should cover up like everyone else

It’s pretty skanky, put a top, not hard is it.

😂😂

I don't see why you don't just ask him to put a t shirt on. If it's making you feel a little embarrassed in front of the others.

I can pretty much guarantee that nobody cares as long as there's no balls or knob peeking out. But he's your fella so you should feel comfortable enough to ask him.

I think it depends if you're a prudish, polite with each other kind of family or a relaxed happy go lucky family.
No one would bat an eyelid at this in my house.

Tops off in the kitchen at breakfast would put me off my toast, I hope it's a big kitchen so you are not brushing past each other. And shorts he's slept in not a great look. Get him a dressing gown or pull on a tee shirt, it's not difficult.

Hmmm. It seems that most people are saying it’s fine. I find it bleurgh. Sorry.

Would it be ok for the OP to walk round in bra and pants? Or a short, silky and lacy slip with no bra?

I think it’s more respectful in a shared house to cover up. Nobody wants to see his chest hair at breakfast! 🤢

Oh, hell no to this "attire" - well, the lack of! If it was just your own little family, all good. But you're sharing accommodation with not even immediate family, but extended family. Your husband definitely needs to get dressed when he's around them. Nobody wants to see him half naked in his sleeping shorts.

Nobody wants to see his chest hair at breakfast! 🤢

What about his underarm hair 😆 is that ok?

Has he got tattoos, yes definitely cover up😀😆

Of course it’s fine.

The t shirt is t going to alter the look of the shorts in anyway.

and the shorts are proper shorts covering what needs to be left to the imagination.

You can be both, a happy go lucky family relaxed in each others company, but also like people to not parade their boobs about at breakfast time.

Please tell me he’s not dangling in baggy shorts? For example, what happens when he sits down? 😵‍💫

I don't think 'happy go lucky' can be used to describe someone who is uncomfortable and displeased just because their son/husband etc isn't wearing a top.
It's not an insult, families are different 🤷‍♀️

As long as his bits dont flop out I wouldnt worry.

In my family and DHs this would be fine. 6:30-9am is what me and DH would consider the “morning shift” with the kids and generally we will both be in jammies to do this then one goes and gets ready (normally me first as I take longer) then we swap and the other gets ready. Especially if it’s a cooked breakfast because that way we can wash the cooking smell off. It’s not like he’s attending sit down lunches in his jammies.

When my kids stay over at my dads he’s often still in his jammies when I come and get them at 9/10 and it’s never occurred to me that it’s weird. Also if the temp goes above 10 degrees my dad is “taps aff” so he can make the most of it.

We'll have to agree to disagree, to me some things are just basic manners and are nothing to do with how relaxed people are, and happy go lucky can refer to all sorts of things not just who is happy with who wears what. It wouldn't require thought to put a top on it's just what you do in a big mixed household it's not really about worrying about rules, or having to consciously think about it it would never occur to me that a man shouldn't have a top on on a non pool/beach based holiday. I've been on many wonderful, extended family and close friends holidays everyone has been very relaxed, and no one ever walked around topless, unless by a pool or beach.

If his scrotum is peeking out YANBU otherwise leave him be.

It's our cultural norm (outside of a few cities) to wear a t shirt. You aren't allowed in dining areas around the pool without clothing. So it's fine for people to want the people around them to wear clothes. The women I go on holiday with (my youngest DD included) go topless. In Germany whole families sunbathe nude together. But the get dressed for breakfast.

With his family, fine. In ours, he would be asked to wear a t shirt. It isn't a hardship.

This ⬆️

I don't consider jersey PJ shorts to be 'proper' shorts. Not too bad if he has good underwear below them but otherwise his bits will be dangling and possibly obvious, depending on how well endowed he is and how clingy the material is. If it was just his parents you were with then not so bad, but aunts/uncles/kids you don't see often, nope.

Those jersey type pajama shorts can show quite an outline if there's no underwear beneath them.

Jersey tends to outline though, so he’s leaving nothing to the imagination, so to speak

He should wear pyjamas.

Jinx.

Nobody needs that when they’re eating breakfast.

It depends on the "audience" really. I think you need to read the room. If walking around bare chested isn't the general vibe, then put a T shirt on and drag a comb through your hair. It's no hardship.

Around his family, I'd let them/him set the tone (and try to follow suit, as much as possible; 'when in Rome'). Around your own family, I'd say he should do as you wish, within reason. Pulling on a shirt and smoothing your hair isn't a big ask. (And yes, he needs to be wearing shorts that don't show outline/movement. That's more important than the shirt, honestly!)

Or you know, just a parent doing what's necessary. Would op be worthy of legendary status and gratitude as she sits around the house in just pants and bra for getting up with her child?

OP I wouldn't care so long as there's no risk of seeing his penis or bum crack, he's not sweating with his hairy belly over the breakfast table etc.

I can’t imagine the level of up-tightness needed to be worrying about this! Indoors, early, among your own family?

The only thing I hate seeing on men on holiday are those vest-type singlets worn in public. Thank goodness dh has never shown the slightest tendency in that direction.