Wedding Accommodation

[ExhaustedRaccoon]

A close family member and husband to be have asked if our DS could play a part in their wedding next year. I initially said yes.

I started looking for accommodation as they live 4 hours from us and I’m looking at £550 upwards for two nights.

This is their 2nd marriage and I was bridesmaid for relative in the first.

relative has a lovely big house which won’t be in use as they will all be staying at a hotel. Relative has stated that the house will be full so cannot offer us a place to stay.

AIBU in thinking if they wanted DS to be part their wedding they should be sorting out accommodation for us?!

We are contemplating sending our apologies as we’re currently buying a house, have recently had another baby and simply just cannot afford it. I would have only been back at work 2 months and DP and I get by but we are not “plush”.

I would.

Can't make it, have a great wedding, look forward to seeing photos

I wouldn’t spend money I don’t have on that wedding, no.

That is a lot of money for two nights. If it were me I would look into AirBNBs and cheaper accommodation in neighbouring towns/ villages up to half hour away before making a final decision. Especially if it’s immediate family.

No I don’t think they should be sorting accommodation for you, but YANBU to say no.

Where’s the nearest Travelodge or similar? How can the cheapest room be £275 per night?

No prem /holiday inn etc near by

it’s a lot of money.

guessing sister

it would prob be a no from me due to cost

Whereabouts in the country is it, can’t think of anywhere you couldn’t find accommodation for less that £275 per night.

If it is a sibling or one of your children, I would figure out a way to afford to attend. Your children participating is not really the issue. Paying for a place to stay at a wedding is common as it’s unlikely everyone lives close. Look for something a bit further away to save on costs.

Anyone else, if it is not in the budget, don’t stress the matter. Just decline.

No she is under no obligation to sort accommodation for you.
However YANBU to not want to go.
Have you looked at all options though? Like staying 1h drive away the night before at a Travelodge or similar then somewhere closer the night of the wedding?

It’s near the coast down south and right in the middle of summer holidays

@ExhaustedRaccoon Travelodge or premier inn might be an option? Or something near by as other posters have suggested?

If she wants to have DC involved that’s absolutely fine. I don’t mind even driving him there and leaving him in her capable hands with family looking after him. I just can’t afford the crazy hotel prices. I’ll check out Air BNB as I didn’t think of that!

I'd she's a close relative, surely you've been invited to the wedding anyway, and it's not just about your DS being in the wedding party?

If you weren't invited (which would be very odd) then no way you should you have to pay that amount of money to facilitate her wish.

If you’re not that bothered skip it. Or alternatively could you stay 1-2 hours away and drive (or train ) in?

AIBU in thinking if they wanted DS to be part their wedding they should be sorting out accommodation for us?!

No, YABU! They have invited you and asked your DS to be part of the wedding party, I've never heard of this also including free accommodation for the entire family!!!
I would have asked if they had a special rate at a specific hotel. If the only hotel, air bnb, B&B within a reasonable distant was still too much for you to afford, then you just decline. Send a card and/or gift and wish them well.

We are all invited. She has her house, her parents house and her daughter’s house plus a holiday let. She’s sorted out accommodation for everyone else she wants involved who live a lot close than we do, but hasn’t done the same for us. I don’t feel like I’m out of order to question it or to expect her to pay for at least one night in a hotel for us seeing as she’s managed to put other people up!

That does put a different spin on things. I’m guessing that it was difficult to find the space if there are 4+ in your family. But yeah, it would be nice if you could have stayed at one of those places.

im struggling to believe that there isn’t a travelodge or similar in a southern town or nearby.
are you sure this isn’t that you feel put out that accommodation has been sorted for others?
is there a back story here? If everyone else ‘involved’ has had accommodation arranged why is it you haven’t? I’m trying to work out whether it’s you or the couple getting married who are BU.

Well you’ve not put the town but Brighton seafront holiday inn is just over £100 a night the first weekend in August so I think this is probably more about feeling put out by your sister

What role exactly do they want DS to play and how old is he?

Does seem a bit harsh that they’ve helped out others by allowing in their homes but not you and you are further travelling

Agree