1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

I used to work with someone that married their cousin and they have children, they have been married and very happily for over 40 years

Good god both my male first cousins are bloody weird. I hardly talked to them growing up let alone considered marrying them

I’m not saying it’s acceptable but I don’t think it’s right to label people as “weirdos” for it at the same time . As I have said I have worked with families who grew up with this as the norm who were absolutely shocked when they had children who died one after the other due to consanguinity. No one had ever told them and they had very little understanding until after the fact. Do I agree with it ? Absolutely not . Would i label them as “weirdos” also no . You may be surprised , but a lot of cultures who marry first cousin marriage as the norm are often not educated and have no clue of the dangers at all

Thats only in 1 off cousin marriages. After 3 generations its the same as marrying your sibling.
It very quickly becomes a guarantee that any children born into 3rd, 4th or subsequent generations will have serious physical and/or mental disabilities that get worse with every generation.
So saying its no more harmful or dangerous than having a baby after the mother turns 36 is disingenuous at best and outright lies used to justify the practice at worst

I don't even think second cousins should be allowed to marry, nevermind 1st.

It would be like your grandchildren marrying. How weird would that be?!

I remember didn't one of the Chasers marry his cousin and she was like 20 years younger than him or something. So creepy. Absolutely not.

Agree with others, it should be banned. I just can't think about my child marrying my siblings child without feeling sick at the idea. There's millions of people to choose from, why do it close to home 🤢

Plus all the money going in to do testing, etc... why make more work and paying for something that's extremely easy to avoid in the first place?

I knew first cousins who married. They took medical advice and were told it wouldn’t cause problems because it hadn’t happened before in their families. Their child was fine.

100%.

IMHO, it should be banned. And public tax dollars should not be used to care for offspring of cousin marriages.

As pp have said the purpose of cousin marriage was to keep wealth in the family. Making them pay for the care of their offspring would make them change their decisions very very quickly.

Obviously we can only control the laws in our own country. That doesn’t mean we should reduce our laws to the lowest common denominator of any other country.

If we make cousin marriage illegal in the UK it will reduce one of the main incentives for it, per the documentary posted earlier, which is the fact that it is often used as a mechanism to obtain permission for extended family members who are citizens of other countries to move to the UK. This will reduce the number of women being coerced into these horrible “marriages” because the UK will cease to recognise their validity.

If we add cousins to the list of relatives in the definition of incest (parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, siblings) then it becomes a prosecutable offence so it will be a significant deterrent (up to 7 years in prison) to anybody pursuing such “relationships” here outside marriage, as well. It will also give women in these abusive situations a concrete and much more easily provable crime to report to the police so make it easier for them to escape such abuse.

Doing the above will make it crystal clear that the UK won’t tolerate this going forwards, and as I said earlier should also make those already in “cousin marriages” that would be allowed to stand (because laws don’t apply retrospectively) more likely to think twice before having children/ more children and inflicting completely avoidable significantly elevated risks on those children of having miserables or very short lives.

There really is no discernable drawback or rational argument for why we wouldn’t ban it going forward because the harms caused by allowing it are huge and there is no discernable benefit to it whatsoever or, indeed, any need for it given there are 3bn opposite sex adults on the planet to choose from if an adult of either sex is seeking a partner/ spouse.

Absolutely should be banned !

Separate to the genetic and medical issues, is simply the creepiness of being raised as family from childhood and then finding them sexually attractive. If you and your siblings have kids and are close, then they grow up very clearly seeing them as family. To me it is just as disgusting as marrying a sibling.
Even step children when they aren't related is still wrong because they should have put them in a certain category of being platonic.

It's beyond gross.

Of course the aristocracy did it all the time but even Mary and Matthew Crawley were 3rd or 4th cousins so it's not that common.

Very easy.

to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?

I don't object to it.
I'm surprised at so many people have such strong opinions about it.

My great great grandparents were 1st cousins, they lived in the same small village and fell in love when he came back from sea. Apparently they made sure that none of their children and grandchildren did the same, even then they were aware of the potential problems.

My Uncle married his first cousin. They were in love, so got married. They took the decision to adopt their children. They married at 18, they were together until they died, both in their 90s.

I don’t see any reason for first‑cousin marriage to stay legal. The health risks are known, and the cultural pressure behind it is a big part of why it still happens. Even if it were banned, people who are determined to be together would still carry on privately.

They’d live together, have children, or go through religious ceremonies that aren’t recognised by UK law. A ban wouldn’t stop the relationships, but it would stop the UK from formally approving them.

Removing legal recognition doesn’t change the behaviour in communities where it’s common; it just means the state isn’t involved. The relationships would continue exactly as they do now, just without the legal stamp.

The risks exist, the pressure exists, and the UK doesn’t need to legitimise something most people instinctively avoid. People who want to be together will still be together, but the law doesn’t need to facilitate it.

We need to stamp this out.

So what do you suggest if you find out a woman is pregnant by her first cousin? Will you force her to abort the baby? Remove the baby from the couple?

”Culture” (or lack of) doesn’t trump scientific fact and religious beliefs should have no place in determining public policy. That way a second bout of the Dark Ages lies.

Why have you ignored all the instances of white first cousin relationships and babies and jumped straight to stamping out the practise in couples from other cultures?

Especially as the stats say the practise is falling steeply?

How is it easy?

As a one off it's fine even if it's not for me. However, the issues that can happen when it's frequent in a community mean it should be banned. Unless it's banned in other countries it's not likely to stop, people will go to their families country and marry there.

You couldn’t waterboard this out of me.

Historically, in the UK (or maybe just in England), there were a few cousin marriages, partly because a cousin may be the only person of the opposite sex you meet. Villages were very often just a small community, and few would venture more than a few miles.
However, my understanding is that this is where the 'village idiot' comes from.
That is, it is not just one set of cousins marrying, it is happening in successive generations. Too much inbreeding.
So, I have a few examples in my family history, but I agree it should be banned.

Someone posted that 27% of marriages in Bradford were cousin marriages......

Surely that can't be true?

Make it illegal and definitely the practice will wane.

No idea why but I’d always thought first cousin marriage was already illegal in England - I think it should be banned yes.