1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

Now we understand the birth defects that follow from continuous 1st cousin marriages, it should be banned. It benefits no one apart from a patriarch who wishes to control his descendants

A couple of my cousins dated for a while. The rest of the family were grossed out because it’s weird AF

The additional risk from a one off is miniscule. 3% to 6%.

It doesn't help me because I think you've replied to the wrong person.

And? In some cultures it’s not weird to rape your wife … we still made it illegal here.
Should we make UK laws based on what some cultures do and not what we want the culture of the UK to be?

It’s grim.

Just because something is culturally acceptable doesn’t mean it morally acceptable nor does it mean it shouldn’t be made illegal. Culture doesn’t trump anything.

What a strange comparison. Are you married to your cousin or something?

They both have 1 set of Grandparents in common it’s only 1 step down from being siblings In my eyes in incest. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone but OP did ask for opinions

I have not RTFT but I think its gross.

Did you miss the hundreds of comments explaining that 'watering down' is the very opposite of the problem and, in certain communities,not remotely rare?

The point is that the law needs changing to categorise it as incest because science has demonstrated that cousins are too close as relatives to avoid unacceptable and avoidable harm to their children. This is particularly the case because other genetic disorders that are common can be tested for and avoided via IVF if it is known before birth that the parents are carriers. If not known, and the parents are unrelated, it is just terrible unavoidable luck that they both carry the same recessive gene. The case of cousin marriages is fundamentally different because we know that allowing it causes completely avoidable, terrible pain and trauma and death to a significant percentage of the resulting children, yet there is no way to test in advance because many genetic disorders are generally rare/ the relevant genes not yet isolated and testable, yet obviously if you marry a close relation the risk of you both carrying the same rare genetic disorder is orders of magnitude higher.

And aside from that, it’s just quite disgusting, and unnecessary, and lowers IQ in resulting children as well on average. Why inflict unnecessary harm on future generations that can be foreseen in advance and avoided by marrying one of the 3bn unrelated adults on Earth of the opposite sex? Hardly a huge imposition and unreasonable restriction of choice of partner is it, when you have 3bn others to choose from?

Absolutely not . No way . As I said I don’t think it’s right for cousins to marry and it should be banned . But in some cultures it’s normalised and it was normalised in this culture until recently in fact. I’ve seen couples who were first cousins who had kids with terrible disorders and went through absolute hell together . Those couples had so much love for each other and were just like any other couple and had absolutely no clue about the risks of consanguinity until it affected their families because it was normalised in their culture . I’ve known couples who at 25 had lost 3 children together due to disorders due to their consanguinity . No one had ever warned these couples of the dangers and they had no clue . I do not agree that they should have been allowed to marry no way. But at the same time I would not label them as “weirdos “ . They were just normal loving couples with a complete lack of education on the subject . Thats totally different from deliberately taping and harming your spouse

Incest is illegal, so why isn't this

I suggest you watch the BBC documentary on this to which I posted a link earlier in the thread, @nomas. Those poor, poor kids having that inflicted on them by their parents, who were in complete denial even when the science was explained to them and tried to claim that “the doctors’ medicine made the children ill”. Disgraceful: there wasn’t even any remorse.

I would support a ban but I think there needs to be more thought about what it means logistically.

Is it a ban on bringing in first cousins married abroad? Would these marriages if legally conducted elsewhere be recognised in British law? How would they know two people are first cousins, would it just be an honesty box to tick on the form yes or no?

If its wishy washy the law will have very little difference beyond pushing more of these weddings out of the country.

What about already married cousins, would they suddenly be unmarried?

Flyers! That’s what this issue needs.
Everyone will fall in line.

And the horrific human suffering caused aside, the cost to the state and NHS of caring for and treating each of these severely affected children is many hundreds of thousands of pounds per the documentary. That was several years ago: now it’ll be significantly higher due to inflation. Why should taxpayers have this unnecessary cost imposed on them?

That’s the other issue. Nothing stopping people marrying elsewhere, but procreating here.

Presumably, like most new laws/ changes to laws, it would not apply retrospectively. But it would prevent this abhorrent practice going forwards, and one would hope also highlight the seriousness of procreating in such circumstances and the high likelihood of a miserable and short existence for potential offspring so encourage anybody already married to their cousin to think again about having children/ more children and inflicting such a high likelihood of harm on them on purpose.

Precisely. LGBT is the one group that could marry a cousin as they won’t be procreating with each other.

Procreating isn't the only issue though

Incest is a crime. If it is recategorised as incest for anybody not already married to their cousin at the date the law is passed then they can be prosecuted if it is reported to the police. Maximum sentence currently is 7 years in prison.

We need to stamp this out. “Culture” (or lack of) doesn’t trump scientific fact and religious beliefs should have no place in determining public policy. That way a second bout of the Dark Ages lies.

Definitely should be banned. It causes so many health issues. Friend works in paediatrics in an area with large Asian population. They have a huge problem with normally rare genetic diseases from children of first cousin marriages.