AIBU to refuse a neighbour a hospital lift when I was wfh?

[NoMoreGaming]

Our neighbour came to our door yesterday when I was on a work call. There were 6 people in the meeting with one presenting so I was able to go on mute and just speak to my neighbour through my phone using the ring app, still half listening to the meeting.

Her son wasn’t feeling well and she couldn’t get him a doctors appointment so she was asking me to take them to the hospital. I asked what was wrong with him and she said he had a temperature and wasn’t himself. I asked if he was conscious, talking etc to try to rule out an emergency and she said he was but that she thought he might have an ear infection. I said I couldn’t give her a lift as I was working. I needed to present next in the meeting and had another meeting after this one.

My husband saw her putting her son in the car this morning so asked how he was. She said we didn’t care yesterday so why ask now. 😬

Was I unreasonable for not giving her a lift yesterday? If it was an emergency, I would have excused myself from work but it didn’t sound like it was.

Why do they never drive yet always seem to need to be taken places? She could have booked a taxi.

WFH whilst it has its benefits, some people really don’t think it counts as actual working. She wouldn’t have phoned you if you were in the office and excepted you to come and take them on their non emergency issue would she.

Definitely not in the wrong.

As an aside, I couldn’t think of anything worse than a ‘street WhatsApp group’ - is this commonplace? I would hate that.

Exactly this.

in my recent experience, if Pharmacy First think that you or your child need to see a doctor, they can contact the GP on a number that the public does not have and get you seen that day. 111 can do the same.

I have no idea if there is one where I live and have no intention of finding out. There are various neighbourhood apps (or used to be) I used to get printed invitations in my mailbox but haven't had one in ages.

Oh same! It feels very claustrophobic.

If you’re moving soon please post a comment about not wasting NhS resources by going to A&E about non-emergency matters 🤣🤣

Wasn't willing to interrupt her husband's paid job, presumably the parent of said child, but happy to slag you off for not interrupting your own paid job. For a nonurgent appointment, and if she really wanted to go in that moment, could have paid a taxi/uber/lyft...

You couldn't make up the entitlement of some people.

Thankfully my neighbour that I’m friends with works from home too. We both respect the fact each other are working and if we want to pop in for a coffee break/lunch we ask in advance. I don’t drive right now and even though she’s offered to take me places I have never taken her up on it.

Last time I went to a&e I called an ambulance - well 111 called one for me - and would’ve taken a taxi if the paramedics didn’t come.

Only time I’d consider asking for a ride to hospital is if I was feeling faint and was scared to get in a taxi by myself. But even then I wouldn’t be offended if she said no. And she’s actually a friend who has my spare keys, not just a random neighbour I don’t know. So entitled of OPs neighbour!

My first thought.

You're not being unreasonable. You were working! I bet you wouldn't nearly have got this stick if you'd been a man. Try to ignore passive aggressive posting by other people in the road.

"Pulling together in times of need" means two or more people or groups combining resources to help each other. That is, both parties need help and both parties benefit by sharing resources. It doesn't mean one person becoming dependent on an unrelated person for their childrearing needs when the first person already has a spouse who bears the responsibility of ensuring that child's needs are met.

I think I would post on the WhatsApp that I was sorry I couldn't help as I was at work.

And then I would say that next time she should ask on the group as she will definitely get help in light of the comments

That sounds like a good plan @NoMoreGaming . I bet the others wouldn't have helped if they had been asked whilst in the middle of a worl meeting but best to let it all blow over until they move onto the next drama. Good luck with the move!

The sniping on the WhatsApp group would really annoy me and I think I would post asking if anyone who felt they needed a lift somewhere would go to a neighbour's workplace, office, hospital, shop etc. and ask them to leave work immediately and drive them somewhere.

It baffles me how so many people think working from home isn't really work.

This. I hate how the “village” concept has been weaponised - often by mothers who don’t intend to contribute to it - to get help with their kid from other women that they could get from the child’s father.

I do appreciate sometimes men are absent fathers but this happens even when the man is in the home. I had a friend consistently ask me for money for her children’s activities over a period of years. I gave it to her until one day I woke up and realised I was doing more for her kids than her partner was.

If he had cut down on the weed I’m sure they could’ve afforded everything she wanted to do!

I think if you had simply said ‘no…sorry…working’ etc it would have been ok. But when you questioned the mum to make your own assessment if the child needed urgent hospital care you kind of placed your own judgement over hers, which would have stung her.

I’m sure most if not all neighbours would be willing to take a life threatened person to the the hospital in a moments notice if needed.
a temperature and not themself? No they need to get a taxi or the bus. And not to a&e.

Im sorry but people who are part of street and housing estate WhatsApp group chats are weird as fuck.

I’ve lived in my house for 20+ years and never needed to be part of a “street group chat”.

So she doesn't call her husband home from work, but expects you to leave work to take her. Cheeky mare!

Unless you know the child's history, it's for the carers to decide. My granddaughter is immune to Amoxicillin because of repeated ear infections. We have to go to the hospital for ear and eye infections. She's had cellulitis a few times. Our children's A&E isn't particularly busy and it gets everything done in one day. What is minor in some people, is part of another person's complex health conditions.
I was in the doctors and an old lady was being told off because she didn't just go to A&E. People go through triage, we shouldn't put people off going and no-one needs your advice. This is purely about wanting a lift.

Star system!
Brilliant! Am going to start using that phrase.

If it was a life or death emergency they should call an ambulance.

If not, they can wait for a taxi.

YANBU.

i started getting parcels for next door a couple a day a few times a week whilst I was WFH. I don’t get my own parcels during the week because I’m working and sometimes chairing big online meetings

i got a parcel for them and told the local driver I wasn’t taking them anymore and he said they had a sign on their porch saying all deliveries to boardwalk and was on all delivery instructions. I told them to take the sign and instructions down immediately and they took the huff with me!

I was putting the bins out during the day and she muttered a comment on wasn’t there any important meetings I needed to be at. I just shook my head and walked away

she was being a cheeky fecker knocking on your door