AIBU to refuse a neighbour a hospital lift when I was wfh?

[NoMoreGaming]

Our neighbour came to our door yesterday when I was on a work call. There were 6 people in the meeting with one presenting so I was able to go on mute and just speak to my neighbour through my phone using the ring app, still half listening to the meeting.

Her son wasn’t feeling well and she couldn’t get him a doctors appointment so she was asking me to take them to the hospital. I asked what was wrong with him and she said he had a temperature and wasn’t himself. I asked if he was conscious, talking etc to try to rule out an emergency and she said he was but that she thought he might have an ear infection. I said I couldn’t give her a lift as I was working. I needed to present next in the meeting and had another meeting after this one.

My husband saw her putting her son in the car this morning so asked how he was. She said we didn’t care yesterday so why ask now. 😬

Was I unreasonable for not giving her a lift yesterday? If it was an emergency, I would have excused myself from work but it didn’t sound like it was.

You were working, so you were unavailable. In fact, I don't know why you went on mute to even speak to her.... you were working. Just draw your blinds in future!

Also, come out of the street WhatsApp - who needs unnecessary chit chat on their phone?

I would of replied: yes good to stick together in time of need, however I was working. Why didn't you offer? And then leave. 🤣

maybe she rang her husband at work and he told her "I can't come home, I'm in the middle of a meeting..."

She probably also decided that "my neighbour's WFH doesn't count as working, anyway, so she can just leave the house whenever and the fact she said no makes her a giant meanie!"

Some people's entitlement is so vast it has its own star system

Well they’ve heard her side of the story that’s for sure and where were all these worthy neighbours when she needed a lift?
Good luck with your move, you’ll soon be shot of the lot of them !

People have no respect for women who work from home - you're just messing about and OF COURSE you can drop everything for them. My husband also works from home and never get approached to offer lifts or asked if he can go to the shops to pick them up groceries. A couple of years ago, a neighbour who was having a bad reaction to the Covid vaccine was asked to come into hospital, she asked me to drive her. It's a big ask as we live rurally so it was a three hour round trip for me. But I was on a day off and she was really scared so I did. I mentioned she was lucky she got me on a day off and she said, "But it is an emergency!" Not for me it isn't! And taxis are available around our way. I am self employed, too, with no employment rights. If I mess people around and don't make deadlines, I simply do not get asked to work for them again and that is my income down every month until I can replace the work, which is not easy at the moment.

You did nothing wrong, OP, you have work commitments that you can't just stroll out of and while work might understand leaving work if it is your child, they won't for a neighbour's!

How many of the wattsapp group did she call to help, let me guess, none. How many of them offered to take her this morning.

What I gather from this is her husbands work is more important than yours in her view! Did you specifically say "I am in a meeting currently so I cannot take you" otherwise she might just think you were free but couldn't be bothered to take her

You're all good in my opinion.

-It wasn't an emergency.
-Why couldn't she drive, if she has a car?
-Why couldn't she get an Uber?
-Why couldn't she try another neighbour?
-Why were you the only one who could possibly help?

Fed up with this attitude that people working at home just sit around doing nothing all day.

And yes that post was definitely about you. Just a pity that they have to be so damn childish about it. If they've got a problem, they should say it to your face.

Did you asky any in the group if they had offered to help? Or were they, like you, at work?

I can't disagree with this!

Good grief, what a bunch of idiots. You obviously would have stepped in if it were a true emergency so take no more notice.

I'd be so tempted to post a link to a driving instructor and a local taxi firm before leaving the group...

Haha - so she couldn't call her husband because he was "working". Come on, if there was no need to call an ambulance and no need to call her husband, then there was no need to call you either...

So the neighbours are taking about you? Why worry they've got nothing better to do with their lives?

Fuck em.
You made sure it wasn't an emergency (I'm not sure I'd have had the presence of mind, especially if I was half-listening to a work meeting and was about to present a part of it myself!) and you had a very good reason for not being able to do it.
The street WhatsApp sounds more stress than it's worth. I'd leave, or mute it at least (I suppose you might need it for useful/important info).

I’d vs tempted to reply to the WhatsApp group

“I’m so glad to hear you all say that. Jane was worried yesterday because she needed to get Tommy to the hospital, and I was at work so couldn’t help. So good to know you guys are here! Sorry we didn’t think of you yesterday but we’ll be sure to remember you next time.”

Quality.
PLEASE send this, OP.

Good point. Why didn’t she message the group instead of picking on a woman she knows WFH?

So who was going to drive the car your DH saw her putting him in?

In spades, the busy bods will soon shut up if they thought they were ar risk of being pulled in to some drama that means they might have to do something proactive.

Well, looks like her DH doesn't care either seeing as he didn't give a lift (or she didn't care enough to ask him).
Regarding the street whats app, I'll say it time and again, it never ceases to amaze me how generous other people will be with your time and money

ETA - next time if you are working and in a meeting, don't answer the door

I would put a "gentle Reminder" post on the street whatsapp group about how A&E's are over streched and how we try to do things like call 111 BEFORE going to A&E for minor things

Put up a post about why people assume women can easily abandon their work but men can't, even to help their own families.

Yet another gormless oaf of an adult who hasn't learned a vital life skill.

Oh now just hold on...

I would not take that dig lying down. If the rest of the street are so full of advice why didn't one of them take her.
As you are leaving I would tear her a new one !!!
Women can be such bitches.