AIBU to refuse a neighbour a hospital lift when I was wfh?

[NoMoreGaming]

Our neighbour came to our door yesterday when I was on a work call. There were 6 people in the meeting with one presenting so I was able to go on mute and just speak to my neighbour through my phone using the ring app, still half listening to the meeting.

Her son wasn’t feeling well and she couldn’t get him a doctors appointment so she was asking me to take them to the hospital. I asked what was wrong with him and she said he had a temperature and wasn’t himself. I asked if he was conscious, talking etc to try to rule out an emergency and she said he was but that she thought he might have an ear infection. I said I couldn’t give her a lift as I was working. I needed to present next in the meeting and had another meeting after this one.

My husband saw her putting her son in the car this morning so asked how he was. She said we didn’t care yesterday so why ask now. 😬

Was I unreasonable for not giving her a lift yesterday? If it was an emergency, I would have excused myself from work but it didn’t sound like it was.

Oh yes. All of the above, obviously 🤣

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
However this neighbour appears to be rude and entitled.
It's absolutely unreasonable of her to be spreading gossip.
Why didn't any of the other neighbours help out?
You certainly couldn't have been the only one available to give a lift?

There are some very annoying and selfish people around. I would never think of asking anyone, I would call an uber rather than ask someone.

Bloody cheeky, I have Parkinson’s, my feet feel like lead today, brain fog too needed to go out, felt awful bus home.
I always get a taxi if I really need it, at 64, yes I’m not working obviously.
Don’t expect others to help me out, I live alone too

I would actually address this head on.
Go and speak to her and say you were in the middle of a meeting and presentation with your boss and so could not leave work unless it was an absolute emergency.

And say you hope he is feeling better.

Then ask if the WhatsApp messages are about you and say you would be sad if that were the case but you hope now that she understands that you were no more able to leave work than her DH at that point.

This reminds me so much of a very similar thread recently of even more of a CF neighbour, who asked the OP to commit to taking her on a 2 hour round trip once a week for about 4 weeks to a hospital appointment. When the OP advised her that it wasn't possible as she wfh, the neighbour just stormed off. The difference with that thread though is that loads of posters said the OP should have done it!

People don’t understand WFH
Sometimes that is understandable , a lot of other activity seems to take place by people ‘WFH’.
But people never think a woman’s job is too important to interrupt.
Including within families. As an employer of women I was exasperated by the amount of time taken off to cover sick kids while their male partners never took any share of it.

Maybe she has medical reasons, I learnt, and for years did drive, prism undiagnosed, and then Parkinson’s (lack of spacial awareness, muscle weakness and poor concentration), it seemed wise.
That was 5 years ago, judge me as you will I’d be unsafe

Also, replace “we didn’t think of you” with “Jane didn’t think of you”. It was her problem to solve, not yours.

Please don’t lump in people who can’t drive with those won’t drive.
I am not able to drive now and it drives me mad.
I am at one with Uber. Also a lot of people cannot afford a car now. It’s life but we work around it.
Anyway…. so the neighbour was that upset about her son that she has also managed to send out a signal to the neighbours that you are a selfish one.
What a horror.
As for group chats I can’t be doing with them.
Any of them.
What they are doing is bullying and it’s rank.

She is a liberty taker🖕🏾Best of luck getting away from the cheeky cow 🐄 👌

No, you weren't. And after her attitude towards your husband this morning, I think she's an entitled hag who doesn't deserve any favours. You don't owe her anything, it wasn't an emergency, and there is such thing called taxis. Or other neighbours, friends, family, etc.

I also think the chances are she got short shift and a long wait at A&E because if there actually had been a need for her to be there, in the end, she would have shared this to enhance the attempted guilt trip.

Poor kid getting dragged off to sit in A&E for hours. I expect if she'd phoned 111 and explained they'd have found him a GP appointment slot at one of the hospital services.

I'd answer in WhatsApp with a link to this thread but that might not be the best thing to do

People just don't get the working from home thing do they? You aren't working from home so you can run them to hospital, look after their pets or do childcare. They wouldn't phone you in an office and ask you to do them a favour. Don't let the neighbours Wattsapp group get to you.

She just didn't think that you were working, or if she did she didn't think it was proper work...like her husband's.

Why are you even second-guessing? I wouldn't have interrupted my zoom, if I did (repeated doorbell ringing and sound of panicking woman at the door), I would have just asked what's going on and said "sorry I'm at work, can you try one of the other neighbours please".

I’m not going to say anything about it to her or in the group chat. I’m too boring for that and hopefully they’ll all forget about it soon if we don’t respond.

@Bargarran

The neighbour was a CF but you don’t know why she can’t drive.

I can’t for medical reasons and it’s a PITA - have to rely on DH/uber/generous friends who offer and I’m always very thankful. I did drive for about 25 years before I was afflicted w epilepsy though, so not a total oaf.

i really want my DS to pass so we have another driver in the house and I hope to be well enough to drive, at least locally, again one day.

Christ - what a horrible NDN you have.

I'd have told her to fuck right off. Just as well you are moving OP.

You are not being unreasonable. If you had been in the office that day would she have asked you to leave work. When people work from home they are still working, just in a different location.

She could have gotten an uber. It's not your fault you had to work. If you were in an office, she wouldn't be able to ask you at all!

This is why taxis exist. If it was as serious as she stated it was, she would have called an uber.

So why didn't all these 'holier than thou' neighbours offer to drive then instead of hiding and criticising you ? 🤔

Exactly what I was going to say 😂 He does have a penis though so his work is probably more important

I'd be tempted to put in the chat

Sorry I couldnt take oozy earache kid to hospital as I was working... and had drank 3 glasses of wine.
Give yourself a reputation before you move

This. That’s what taxis are for