AIBU to refuse apologising after being blocked in at Tesco?

[ThisIsAbsolutelyCrazy]

So, yesterday I go to Tesco with DH. DH is a wheelchair user and has a Blue Badge.

There were no disabled bays or parent and child bays so I went to a far corner of the car park where there were two empty rows of normal bays and parked between 2 bays so had room for DH to get in and out.

Lo and behold we came back to a car parked so close to my driver's side that I couldn't get between the cars - less than 10 inches in between. The car had parked over into the bay I had half parked in.

We were obviously WTF. The other bays around us were still empty.

Coming round to the front of the cars, we saw there was a young lad no more that 15-17 sitting in the passenger seat of the other car. He obviously couldn't get out of his door either because it was up against mine! I said 'what kind of idiot would park like this' or some such. He said 'my dad'. Then asked him why he'd blocked him in.as well. He didn't answer and just kept his head down. I will admit I did swear a bit saying for fucks sake, this is fucking disgusting. Then said 'tell your Dad he's a complete cunt'. At no point did I make threats to the lad or swear at him. I knew he didn't park the car.

Anyway I then climbed in through the passenger side, moved the car into the row in front, got DH in and we left.

The Dad had not come back. I'm kicking myself because I didn't take a picture of the way he'd parked.

Anyway, tonight at around 8pm there's a knock at the door and two policemen are there. My heart dropped because I thought it was about one of the DC (both were out with friends), but they said they'd had a complaint about me causing 'fear and alarm' to a minor!

Turns out the Dad must have already had my reg number and told the police what I'd said. No mention of how he'd blocked me deliberately and left his son trapped in the car!

He must have known whoever came back to the car would be angry!

Anyway police said I could make a formal apology to the boy and the matter would not be taken further - this was because I admitted swearing.

I said No I will not as I had figured out by then that the Dad had done this all deliberately. No clue who he is.

AIBU to think he must be an absolute psycho?

Especially to leave his son trapped in the car!

I’d probably say “I’m sorry you have an arsehole for a parent and I’m sorry you’ve suffered as a consequence.”

I agree. The Mumsnet 'holier than thou' brigade are out in force today aren't they!! In fact it's most of the time these days! So morally and ethically superior!
I don't think they have any idea about the average teenager and how they behave/how their brains work. This includes their own kids who are consistently put on pedestals. Poor Johnny can do no wrong, can he!

Presumably your blue badge was on display which should have given people a clue why you needed more space round the car? Your language was totally unacceptable though - and to say you weren't swearing at him but just swearing is a joke! Just apologise and move on.

Thank you for the English lesson. As someone who has English as a second language, having my mistakes pointed out to me is very helpful.

😂

I'm not quite sure how the teenager was trapped in the car. How had the fad got out if there were no gaps for the child to get out. You can open the door from the inside. You owe the child.an apology.

It's absolutely outrageous. Who would ever believe it has come to this.
It's communism by any other name.

Perhaps the annoyance was justified, but it was misdirected and a tad over the top.

Everyone does OTT things sometimes. The important thing is handling what comes next sensibly.

I think if the police asked me to apologise for swearing at someone else's kid, I'd probably do it quickly to avoid further problems, regardless of the exact circumstances.

There is no real point of principle to defend here, so I have trouble seeing what you stand to gain from not saying sorry.

I assume the dad got out as he was on the opposite side to the one parked very close to OP’s car.
A 15-17 year old boy will have heard or used that language on the school field. It’s naive to think otherwise.
I don’t know what PLAC means Pyong.

I was going to say exactly the same thing.

The only way of pulling this back is to contact the Daily Mail and do a sad-face-photo tell-all expose of the incident.

Did you actually leave the blue badge on display on the dashboard or not?

If you did, I think it was a very nasty move on his part.
If you didn’t, he was obviously still trying to teach you a lesson.

Either way, you could have handled it much better OP, - without the offensive language and keeping the moral high ground. It wasn’t the lad’s fault.

You have the option to apologise and move on …I’d take that option and be done with it.

Most people wouldn't even think to look for one of those outside of a disabled parking area, unless they're an official/parking attendant. He just pulled in alongside; why would he think "I'd better go around and look at the dashboard in case they left any kind of sign why they needed to park this way"?

The bigger offence was the dad parking to block you in, which I'd have pointed out to the police. But you didn't cover yourself in glory, OP.

Out of twenty empty parking spaces he picked that one? He looked enough to see someone parked like that and chose to make a point about it. If he can't see a blue badge displayed in the window he shouldn't be driving, they are enormous.

I’m with you but I’d apologize.

”I’m sorry your Dad’s a cunt, kid.”

and you know, he already knows it. Maybe even enjoyed getting to tell him so.

It's irrelevant whether he already knows and has heard those words or not. He 100% did not deserve to have them said angrily to him by an adult, when he'd done absolutely nothing wrong. He's likely seen people being punched in the face before; does that mean it would have been fine if OP had punched him - as long as she'd said "This is for your dad, not you"?

Police officers will all have heard words like this many times, but I bet most people in comparable situations where the police were present would somehow manage not to say words like that to them. It's not even just any old swear word, but probably the most offensive one that exists in English, if you asked most people.

If she's said "He's a bloody idiot", it would still have been swearing, but not deliberately jarring. I don't live in a particularly affluent or highly privileged area, and the only time I ever hear/see the most vulgar swear words used so freely is on MN.

If it REALLY was a whole row of empty spaces, why the need to park across two? Park normally, in the middle of the row and there would be miles of space either side to get in/out.
Would avoid all this unnecessary drama too.

YABU

Well yes, because men and women are different and so are boys and girls.

A more apt comparison would be if she’d said it to a 15-17 year old girl

Unfortunately if you refuse to apologise you may end up with a criminal record,not worth the aggro of that.

Personally i would tell the police you want to make a report for harassment of a disabled person.

ok you were in the wrong to swear at a kid but the fathers a complete twat

Just so shocking.
Open your eyes folks.

I wiuld be annoyed,but I wouldnt use such appalling language in front of a minor. Two wrongs don't make a right. You and the Dad both behaved badly.

It was a very strange choice of space, and I agree that he probably thought he was being clever and making a point; but he approached OP's car from behind and pulled in alongside it, so why would he have had any thought to look at the dashboard at all?

I'm not saying they're right to assume so in the least, but for the vast majority of people - especially the ones with 'attitude' like him - they compartmentalise disabled people along with the disabled parking spaces and it wouldn't ever enter their heads that a disabled person might need to park in a regular space (or spaces) if the disabled ones are all taken.

I take it you are not disabled. The disabled spaces are wider, why, because often you need to have the door wide open as far as it can go to get in or out

the spaces in car parks now, especially for larger suv type cars, that are often a requirement for disabled people as they are easier to get in and out as they are higher, are too small to allow you to park within lines and open doors fully

as The op is not a mind reader and can’t predict who else may come and park next to them, it’s better to park across two spaces to be sure you can get inagain

HTH